If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

best movie i've ever seen.

Bad Acting and worse Bad Screenplay

Heading out for a vacation, a group of friends renting a house for a weekend getaway encounter a group of guys also looking to hook up for the evening and bring them back only to find themselves targeted by a vicious killer and must find a way of saving themselves from the maniac.This was quite the enjoyable enough effort. One of the better elements featured here is the rather engaging series of setups that offer quite a bit of fun at their expense. Not only is the first scenes showing the group on the road with their car problems and the housing mishap while giving this the kind of setup with them appearing at the house which is quite goofy and silly with the way they all interact there at the house. Even going so far as the cheesy tour through the woods with the group of loser guys or the beach-side exploits where they meet the other group of guys there picking them up for later. There's even more to enjoy with the catfight at the nightclub that forces them back to the house where the fun starts. Once they're back at the house again, this one turns into quite the exceptionally fun slasher which has a lot of sleazy fun charms. This part of the film turns into a full-on slasher opus with some rather strong and enjoyable stalking scenes that provide a thrilling, nonstop series of attacks and encounters here, from the bathroom-based double-murder and the tense attack in the bedroom which all offer up some pretty thrilling action alongside the nice gore. The film's at its best in the scenes at the shack where the killer has them abducted and ready to torture the various captives there or the engage in the fantastic chasing around the house that leads into the shack for a nice finale. As well as the fine nudity provided by those well-equipped to provide it, these here hold it up over the few flaws. Among the few flaws to be found here is the fact that this one tends to really go all over the place in the first half with a wide variety of goofy plotpoints and tangents. These are just all over the place with them continually changing plans and going to different events or locations trying to have a good time don't really provide anything of any interest as they just speak of a chaotic series of scenes designed to enhance the running time. As well, there's also the issue about the really silly finale which is pretty ridiculous with the double-turns and the various odd explanations offered for the killers' rampage which is really ham-fisted and makes no sense. It tends to feature way too much obscure tangents and coincidences to really give this a sense of closure. These here are what hold this one back.Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Full Nudity, a sex scene and mild drug use.

Guidos and guidettes meet their gory end, but not before they try to smash after fist pumping at the club. Yeah buddy! From the maker of Girls Gone Dead, Paul Tarnopol teams up with Jwoww Productions for the latest addition to the B-movie horror genre to give audiences Jersey Shore Massacre.A group of girl friends head down the shore for a fun-filled Jersey staycation. When a mistake with their reservation causes their shore house to get snagged, they must venture away from Seaside Heights to a family member's secluded home in the boonies – also known as the Pine Barrens. The guidettes don't let that stop them, they head back to the club and try to find some nice juice-heads. These DTF bimbos find a group of GTL-ed jerks, go back to the house to get into the jacuzzi, but instead are hunted to bloody and gruesome deaths by a deranged killer stalking them.Jersey Shore Massacre amps up and satirizes Jersey stereotypes just as much as you would expect from this B-movie. The hair, outfits and exchanges between characters, named and parodied off RHONJ, are stupid ridiculous. Interestingly the film tries to be authentic while being absurd by accurately retaining locational vernacular in the dialogue and filming in New Jersey. And with so many Italian actors and actresses cast in Jersey Shore Massacre it makes the opening credits feel like an immigration record from Ellis Island.All for heavy handed outrageousness – the film starts off strongly. Momentarily Tarnopol's Jersey Shore Massacre is like witnessing the secret and dark fantasy realized – the Jersey Shore cast bludgeoned and dead (joking of course). Preposterously idiotic, but sufficiently better acted than most B-movies thanks to the two female leads portrayed by Angelica Boccello and Danielle Dallacco, Jersey Shore Massacre can't help but make you laugh from the stupidity of the conversations between the characters.Unfortunately, the novelty of Jersey Shore Massacre fades quickly and interest wanes as it takes almost an hour for the film to switch from Jersey Shore knock off to horror flick. When the horror does get started it is excessively gory and bloody without the campy funny deaths wanted. It takes finesse to be a comedy pretending to be a horror and Jersey Shore Massacre is missing that magical balance.For more FULL reviews of recent releases, check out our website!

First off, you can see that it is someone without much experience trying to produce a low budget movie. The acting, if you can call it that is pathetic. I would venture to say, the producer had her friends get together and attempt to make this poor attempt at a horror movie. The intro didn't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the film, usually there is something that relates to what is coming up. This intro made it seem as though there was going to be another direction for the film to take. They tried to make a Mafia film, then turn it into a Friday the thirteenth sort of horror flick, with a bunch of no talent fairly unattractive New Jersey girls. Later we meet the just as dumb Jersey boys that are in the film, and sadly their attempt at acting is probably worse than that of the girls. Not all people from NJ, are complete idiots and talk like they only made it as far as the second grade. The plot was ridiculous, and to top it off you have Ron Jeremy as the only (Famous) lol, actor in the film. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME with this piece of junk.

I found "Jersey Shore Massacre" to actually be adequately fun and entertaining, and it was a great spoof on the slasher genre. Take the movie for what it is. I mean, don't expect this movie to challenge your intellect or to reinvent the wheel or anything like that.The story is fairly simple, well, let's be honest, it is very simple. A group of ladies go to a remote house in a forest for a getaway, and they hook up with some guys who are quite self-obsessed and interested in one thing only. Left to their own in the woods, a deranged killer is stalking the young party-loving people.Right, that was basically the entire storyline. And yeah, it is a no-brainer in every possible way. But for its simplicity, then there is something entertaining about the movie, as there is a good sense of comedy and thrill throughout the course.The characters in the movie were very, very generic for the slasher genre, and that was one of the reasons why the movie worked so nicely, because the characters were the summary of every single generic and stereotypical character in slasher movies past, present and future. Personally, I didn't fully understand the need to put Ron Jeremy in this movie. And I also had problems dealing with the Freddy character (played by Chris Lazzaro); wow, that was one disturbingly annoying character.The actors and actresses were also doing good jobs with their roles and characters, despite these characters being so generic and stereotypical. And the performances by the actors and actresses also helped to boost the movie and bring it a notch upward.I will say that the gore, blood and splatter effects were actually quite good, and they really helped to keep the movie afloat. And there is a good amount of bloodshed and violence throughout the movie without it becoming too much."Jersey Shore Massacre" is entertaining enough for a single viewing. I give it a 5 out of 10 stars.