Touches You

Please don't spend money on this.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Watching OCTAMAN, a thought occurred to me (which was clearly something that didn't happen to the folks who made this one): on a scale of one to ten, with ten being excellent, OCTAMAN would barely qualify as a one (awful)- BUT... If one were to INVERT the one to ten scale, so that a one was Number One, or the very HEIGHT of its type (in this case, BAD, as in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE bad), then OCTAMAN would be NUMBER ONE!!! It all makes sense, now... They weren't trying to make a BAD movie, they were shooting for Number One- which, if we use the Inverted Scale, OCTAMAN actually IS!!! So, to sum up: OCTAMAN isn't a "one," it's Number One. Got it? Good. Don't say I ain't never done nothing' for ya.

Screenwriter Harry Essex, who'd worked on such classics as "It Came from Outer Space" and "The Creature from the Black Lagoon", does his first genre feature as a director in this 1971 schlock favourite that could just as easily have been made in the 1950s. It has that sort of feel to it, and one can believe that this script of his may have been in existence since that decade.It's silly fun with an ecological function as scientists working in an unidentified Latin American country seek to prove the effects of radiation on the animal kingdom. As one can clearly see, Essex still had CftBL very much on his brain with the way this ultimately turns into a beauty and the beast tale.Well meaning Dr. Rick Torres (fantasy star Kerwin Mathews, looking incredibly serious) and his crew soon run into the almighty Octaman, a humanoid octopus thing shambling along in the way that only men in rubber costumes can do.Character actor Read Morgan is the man in the suit, and does what he has to do quite adequately. Co-starring are lovely Pier Angeli (who died during production) as a typical damsel in distress, whose function is to basically scream at the monster and be carried off on more than one occasion, and Jeff Morrow ("This Island Earth", "The Giant Claw") who actually has only one scene as Ricks' associate Dr. John Willard. The supporting cast is mostly made up of unknowns, although Buck Kartalian, as the ill-fated Raul, had a long career in film, doing everything from "Planet of the Apes" to "Please Don't Eat My Mother".Octaman himself, limply flopping tentacles and all, is endearing all the way, and represents an early effort for Rick Baker, who designed the costume with Doug Beswick. Essex makes no attempt to reveal the monster a bit at a time, preferring to showcase it every chance he gets. His movie isn't totally without atmosphere and suspense, but it goes on too long and gets too talky. It tends to get boring whenever the monster isn't doing his thing.However, it has undeniable bad movie charm that makes it impossible to truly dislike. And in the tradition of "Bride of the Monster", it's a hoot to see the victims of Octaman have to basically kill themselves while fumbling with the fake arms. A little bit o' gore here and there is an asset, while in one scene one of the most obvious and unconvincing dummies of all time gets tossed off a cliff. This isn't as much fun as one could want, but lovers of so-bad-it's-good cinema should be moderately entertained.Five out of 10.

The three stars out of ten is because of the fun I had laughing at this god-awful movie. Absolutely hysterical. Ridiculous monster, a totally unbelievable Kerwin Matthews, and Pier Angeli, who died shortly after this film was completed. I watched the entire movie fascinated by two things, the horrible monster costume, and Pier Angeli, who was once a very promising young actress back in the 1950's. She still looked good, but what a waste for her to act in something like this. Even more sad is that this apparently was her final acting job. Very sad. It is hard to believe that this was the only role that she would be hired for. I had read that she had hoped to act in The Godfather, and also that she had overdosed before finding out that she had been hired for a role on Bonanza. Does anyone know if she accidentally overdosed, or did she commit suicide?

Octaman (1971) ** (out of 4) This semi, unofficial remake of CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON doesn't shy away from ripping off various scenes from that film. In this one, a group of scientists (and of course a money hungry POS) discover that there might be a half man, half octopus's in the Mexican swamps so they try to track him down. Soon he's fighting back and killing everyone around. Okay, this is a rather hard film to judge because there's no question that this is an awful movie. Everything from the performances to the screenplay to the direction are downright bad. There are some rather interesting things about the film and we can start off with director/writer Harry Essex. He previously wrote the screenplay for Universal's MAN MADE MONSTER but also CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON itself so I guess he has the right to rip off his own work. How he wrote them amazes me after watching this screenplay, which has the be one of the worst ever written because none of it ever makes any sense. The movie never really makes it clear what the scientists are doing, where on earth they're at since the scenery is constantly changing and best of all is that they follow the monster in a RV and not a boat. The top billed Pier Angeli, who some might remember from SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME, died of a drug overdose during production, which certainly leaves a dark spot on the film. Thirdly, future Oscar-winner Rick Baker did the monster costume and effects here. Yes, it's obvious the thing is a rubber suit but I must admit that I liked the creation because it at least looks campy like the costumes from the 1950s horror films that this one is clearly trying to be like. The violence in the film is pretty good as well as the swinging arms of the monster is always knocking eyes out or ripping flesh. Again, if you're wanting art then I'd recommend checking out the work of Bunuel. If you're wanting good, drive-in fun then this film really fits the bill. This would make a perfect double feature with ZAAT, which I watched a few weeks earlier.