The Worst Film Ever

Just perfect...

Expected more

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

This film has very little dialogue, very much male nudity, and is gross, but not in the way you would think... Basically the gore is good not great, the actors do a good job making us believe they are mentally unstable, but the main thing that irked me in this film, and its a LITTLE thing... but the guy cant chew with his mouth closed! Wine spilling, food falling, slopping sounds, its ANNOYING AND JUST NASTIER THAN THE CASTRATION. Also the actors will do these gasps that sound like they are coming from the back of their throat and not their lungs, which is gross too, its just a dirty movie and possibly the CLEANEST scene is the castration... Thanks for listening 5/10.

Cannibal (2005) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Based on the true story of Armin "Rotenburg Cannibal" Meiwes, the German man who posted a wanted message on the internet looking for someone who was willing to be killed and eaten. Directed Marian Dora has created one of the most vile, repulsive and disgusting films I've ever seen. Having seen all the Italian cannibal films I thought I could handle anything but that wasn't the case with this film. Just how bad was it? I actually had to stop the film and throw up once. Reluctantly I went back and watched the film and just grew sicker and sicker. The film leaves nothing to the imagination and shows us everything. The director has only around ten lines of dialogue and everything else is just built up with atmosphere and mood. This atmosphere is of pure nastiness and this comes through in the final third of the film where the killing and eating actually starts. Apparently this film follows the real events very closely and lets just say it starts with a penis being cut off, fried and then eaten. This is where I lost it but the film keeps going. It's hard to rate this film because it's technically well made but I really can't recommend it to anyone due to the subject matter and brutality.

Let me start off by dispelling a myth that I heard about this movie before watching it. This film is by no means pornography. Though it delves deep into the homosexual tendencies of the killer, calling this movie a porno because of that would be like calling Halloween or Sliver a porno. If your a mature person who can sit through the sex scenes, what follows is something that could only be called the greatest cannibal movie ever put to film.Everything done in this movie is done for a reason, it all contributes to our understanding of the characters and makes the horror that follows far more shocking then it would have otherwise been. To go into some detail, the first twenty minutes or so in the movie are virtually dialog free. There is a short part at the beginning where a story is told but aside from that the viewer is left to rely on sights and sounds to explain whats happening. The beginning is setup to show us the killers quest for the man who will be his victim. What follows once the dialog starts is meant to expand on the characters we've met and it does so fantastically. Showing us how they feel and think, what their desires are and how desperate they are to fulfill them.The sex scenes, like the rest of the film are unflinching. Shown in more detail then I would have ever expected to see in a film, but those scenes like everything else are there for a reason. They show the killer and the victims ultimate uncontrollable desire to be "one". They expand on the characters and show the almost primal desires that lie within them. Anyone who continues to watch the movie following these scenes can see how essential they were, how much they added to characters and to the effect the movie has on it's viewer. The film runs about an hour and a half. Roughly fifty minutes or so into the movie it becomes truly horrific, taking us even deeper into the mind of a madman and his quest to satisfy his hunger. The gore at this point in the film will truly make you squirm. I've been watching horror movies since I was ten years old, I have never truly felt taken aback by what I've seen. I have never felt that I could label a film as truly brutal, realistic, honest and straight forward. Until now. I've seen Cannibal Holocaust and it's sequels, Cannibal Ferox and countless other cannibal films. More horror movies then I can remember, all of the Faces Of Death series, countless examples or real autopsies and many things I wouldn't care to mention. This movie is truly the best cannibal film I've ever seen and I can't imagine anything ever comparing to it. I think calling it a cannibal movie is perhaps a little unfair, the term almost simplifies the film when there is so much more to it and it is so incredibly well done. The entire movie has a dark and foreboding feel, the camera work and music add to a great story which, as others have said, if it wasn't true no one would believe it. I am a fan of all types of horror from North America, Japan, Europe and just about everywhere else. I never judge one type of cinema against another. I'm not the type to say "if Hollywood could make a movie like this, it would truly revive North American horror". However I'm going to say exactly that. Perhaps the closest thing we have to this type of film making in North America right now is Rob Zombie, but even he doesn't push the limits like this. I have to wonder if he would, if he thought he could actually get it released in US and Candadian theaters.If your a mature horror fan this is a must see and you will not regret it. If it isn't already clear though, keep the kids (or your parents as the case may be) out of the room for this one.

Watching this film is quite an odd experience. On the one hand, "Cannibal" is a very amateur affair. From a technical point of view, it appears to be shot on DV and transferred to 24fps. The storytelling at the beginning is frustrating. Blandly sophomoric with overly long takes, overuse of close ups, forcefully lingering on irrelevant details - the cumulative effect of which points to poor writing. The play of events is a by-the-numbers copy of the reported facts, verbatim. In fact, reading Lois Jones' "Cannibal," seems to bear this out since it mirrors the movie very accurately. The movie places moody bridges between the reported moments where we see the protagonist struggling or reveling with feelings or wandering around town, looking for love. All of this is shown with no sense of filmic structure and almost entirely without dialogue. All of this sounds terrible and, to be blunt, the beginning of the film, while accurate, is not worth mentioning.But what the film lacks in storytelling flair, it more than makes up for in its depiction of the key events, which are ghastly in the extreme and quite explicit. The attention to gore and detail is stomach-turningly impressive. It should be added that the performance of how these two men actually went about killing and being killed has the desperate, awkward stamp of authenticity to it; the actors achieve a haunting, passionate fervor. Also, the sexual nature of their relationship is captured in a way that the news reports could not approach. A good deal of screen time in the second half of the film is given to the complex texture of their very physical relationship, sexual and otherwise. It seems perverse and insane, yet resonates as true somehow. While there is no exploration as to the nature of either men's internal cues, the film displays the horrifying aftermath in detail. There is real curiosity given to the ambivalence that the protagonist has about flesh, organs and blood.What I found most impressive about "Cannibal" was perhaps unintended - it looked simply awful, in every way. Had a more accomplished crew made this film, it may have achieved glossy or professional sheen (like Hostel, for example) and reduced Messrs Miewes and Brandes' appalling ordeal into commercial horror. As it is, the aesthetic result translates into art quite well. i.e., It is difficult/contradictory/message-less - easier than a commercial film to read as metaphor, as well as its effective display of pathological attachment/need since there is no "character-arc" grafted on to it. It also shuns overt commercial appeal while remaining compelling. Thankfully, it also seems impossible to imagine a sequel.