As Good As It Gets

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love bad movies. The IMDB "bottom 100" is great. This movie is different. It's not "so bad it's good". It's not interesting, it's not funny, and it's not fun to watch. I was bored literally the entire time. I was waiting the whole time for something to happen that elicited any response, but that never happened. This is the worst movie-watching experience I've ever had. Do not watch this.

OMFG will someone PLEASE STOP GIVING UWE BOLL MONEY!!!I got up today to find this playing on TV... didn't catch the very start but that obviously does not matter at all.. and within a cpl min I was questioning if they were seriously this idiotic or if they were trying to make this movie this bad intentionally..Well.. stupid me.. wasted time actually watching more of this craptacular pile of steaming ... no wait.. that's too polite a description.. and a pile like that at least would be useful as fertilizer..Suffice to say watching this continued while feeding my youngest son his lunch (Thankfully he's too young to understand any of this) and it just kept getting worse.. and worse.. and WORSE.. and WWWWWOOOORRRRSSEEEEE!!!!!!AMC.. the channel that has helped with some spectacularly good Zombie action (Walking Dead anyone?) and a few other excellent shows.. but has it's head firmly up up it's collective ass with idiotic butchering of movies was happy to put this on and then it's sequel (which can't help but be better since UWE is not involved).. and edited it for language.. but did not have the decency to cut out the entire film and substitute a simple still shot saying:This is a test of the EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM This film is directed by UWE BOLL. Turn the channel NOW to save your sanity and lock the doors since the world is obviously ending when we have run out of garbage to put on TV and are reduced broadcasting this crap..But don't worry.. we edited out the language so your sensitive ears won't ever hear profanity!!!!.. (We can't control the profanity undoubtedly being uttered by all of those watching this crap)Now laugh all you want.. this review is idiotic and absurd.. and its intentionally so.. but at least this has saved you from wasting time of your life you will never get back from watching this load of total steaming sh*t (Seriously IMDb? Have to edit this word?? /facepalm @ that being as stupid and idiotic as AMC's butchering of films. Both pathetic and extremely childish esp since kids know that word very well by the time they hit school!) from UB... Now as the title says:OMFG will someone PLEASE STOP GIVING UWE BOLL MONEY!!!Seriously!!! The man destroys everything he ever touches and some idiots keep giving him $ to make more movies..Hell even his disaster version of AD&D.. which basically writes it'self it's so fantastically easy to get right.. and he managed to butcher it to death in a horrific fashion..They gave him Bloodrayne, AD&D and at least a dozen others with potential... again craptacular garbage from hell every single time.... his touch is like King Midas only its CRAP instead of gold!There seriously needs to be a public safety warning with everything that man ever touches!! Hell even his breathing or uttering the words related to any movie does untold damage to us all!So for the sake of the children, puppies, kittens and whatever else you can add into that.. STOP GIVING HIM MONEY to make movies!!!FFS Pay him to NOT make movies and we will all be better off!!Seriously!!!!This pathetic excuse for a movie is just abysmal.. and while I've worked in the industry and am prod of some of the good stuff we have done here in Canada.. this is NOT one of them and the fact he was even allowed into the country to film this is worthy of investigation since it's an abomination to our film industry and whomever issued him the permits needed needs to be fired!!!So review boiled down for those that want to skip to the end:To quote the great Monty Python:RUN AWAY!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!

I guess I might be expressing some bias simply because I'm a huge fan of the games. It's been sad learning about the decline of arcade games, but these were games that I always had fond memories of from my teenage years. I just spent that much time in the theater. I hope they didn't even have this in the arcade of theaters that actually showed this movie. This is in my top ten worst films of all time. I had heard so much about Uwe Boll and was interested in at least seeing what he had done. This is the guy who actually beat up people (in boxing matches) who hated his movies.Honestly, I could challenge him seeing as how I have so much rage for him. The most insufferable thing about this film was probably how it contained stock footage from the actual games. I mean, they just randomly show this footage over and over and it's only one or two seconds long. What's incredible is that this movie has absolutely nothing to do with the games at all. You could literally remove the footage and no one would know it was a movie based on "House Of The Dead". I mean, I would think that if you included stock footage from the actual thing that you're basing your movie on, you would know what the game was about! It's the worst zombie movie ever made.I heard this movie had one of the highest movie body counts, but it doesn't matter. In one long scene, they just show these monotonous horrible slow motion scenes over and over with all these terrible angles. The main character even flashes back to a bunch of scenes that just happened! It's about this island with zombies on it that's hard to get to. How can it be hard to get to when we see all these ravers there? There's a huge "Sega" sign begin displayed. It was as if this movie needed to remind you that it was based on a Sega game. It's more like useless product placement.The movie ends with the main villain appearing and saying that he uses zombie blood or something so he can live forever. Wha...? This has the most random plot lines I've ever heard of. The budget looks terrible, looking more like a TV movie than a theatrically released film. Well, this the worst movie I've seen for Video Game Month and one of the worst ever. I still have a lot more Uwe Boll movies to watch! Remember, he literally said that he was "the only genius in this whole f**king business" (his actual words). Let's hope he never gets his hands on Mega Man. Zero stars

It was only reading more about this film that I found it was based on the 1990s light gun arcade game of the same name, I remember seeing it myself in a few bowling alleys, but I mainly watched this to see if it was as terrible as it was meant to be. Basically college students Simon (Tyron Leitso) and Greg (Will Sanderson) are taking a boat to island for a techno rave party, they meet Alicia (Ona Grauer), Karma (Enuka Okuma) and Cynthia (Sonya Salomaa). Victor Kirk (Das Boot's Jürgen Prochnow) and his first mate Salish (Clint Howard, Ron's brother) give them a ride on their boat, police officer Jordan Casper (Halloween 4 and 5's Ellie Cornell) tries to stop them from leaving, as Kirk is a smuggler, they leave anyway, and find that the rave is completely deserted. Soon they realise that a swarm of flesh-eating zombies and monsters have risen from the ground, from the air and from the sea, and are on the rampage attacking all that come in their sights. One bite from them means slowly transforming into one of them, and the only way to kill them is a shot to the head, the remaining survivors try to stay alive in an old house they find, i.e. the House of the Dead, with other survivors Rudy (Final Destination 2's Jonathan Cherry), Liberty (Kira Clavell) and Hugh (Michael Eklund) inside. In the end some good guns and high explosives help them to escape, there is a point when they think its all over and one last attack occurs, but a team of agents take care of the rest and the last two living return home. Also starring Immortals' Steve Byers as Matt and Smallville's Erica Durance as Johanna. To be honest there is almost nothing good I can say about terribly trashy movie that was just trying to cash into the same audience as the same time's Dawn of the Dead remake, Shaun of the Dead and Resident Evil, I admit maybe my attention was caught by some of the bloody deaths. But the mix of predictable action, including snippets from the video game during, and a stupid storyline to act as a "prequel" to the game made this film nearly unbearable to keep up with and care about, a rather rubbish horror thriller. Pretty poor!