Carry On Columbus
Christopher Columbus believes he can find an alternative route to the far East and persuades the King and Queen of Spain to finance his expedition...
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- Cast:
- Jim Dale , Bernard Cribbins , Maureen Lipman , Peter Richardson , Alexei Sayle , Rik Mayall , Charles Fleischer
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Reviews
Excellent, Without a doubt!!
All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.
It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny
This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows
It was perhaps coincidence that the last Carry On film ever made (thirteen years after the final compilation film, That's Carry On) was also the last one I had to watch, having watched all thirty in a non-chronological order over the years, and sadly it is not a good one. Basically Christopher Columbus (Jim Dale) is sure that he can sail the seven seas to find a different route to the far East and discovers new countries. To do this he needs finance, so he convinces King Ferdinand (Leslie Phillips) and Queen Isabella (June Whitfield) of Spain to give him the money he needs to hire a boat and get a crew together. Also coming along on the trip however is spy Fatima (Sara Crowe) who has been sent by The Sultan of Turkey (Rik Mayall) to sabotage the journey so that he will not lose the money he gets through taxing people. Eventually after many incidents along the way Columbus and the crew do come across a new country, later to become America, and they get to know The Chief (The Nutty Professor's Larry Miller) and all the other residents, until they return home with a fortune of (unreal) gold. I will be honest and say that I didn't really follow or care what was going on. Also starring Peter Richardson as Bart Columbus, Alexei Sayle as Achmed, Julian Clary as Don Juan Diego, Bernard Cribbins as Mordecai Mendoza, Richard Wilson as Don Juan Felipe, Keith Allen as Pepi the Poisoner, Nigel Planer as The Wazir, Andrew Bailey as Genghis, Burt Kwouk as Wang, Tony Slattery as Baba the Messenger, Maureen Lipman as Countess Esmeralda, Holly Aird as Maria, Jon Pertwee as Duke of Costa Brava, Martin Clunes as Martin, Who Framed Roger Rabbit's Charles Fleischer as Pontiac, Jack Douglas as Marco the Cereal Killer, Chris Langham as Hubba and Peter Gilmore as Governor of the Canaries. Kenneth Williams, Sid James, Frankie Howerd, Charles Hawtrey, Hattie Jacques and Peter Butterworth had all passed away, and Barbara Windsor (who rightly said the script was "crap"), Joan Sims, Bernard Bresslew and Terry Scott refused to take part, only Dale, Gilmore, Phillips, Pertwee and Whitfield came back for another, the rest of the cast consists mostly of rising and alternative comedians. The cast is good, but having them is pointless because the film is so bad, the Carry On films are a British institution and something to be remembered when they were good, and this was only made to coincide with the 500th anniversary of Christopher Columbus' discovery of the America. The good Carry On films (Cleo, Screaming, Don't Lose Your Head, Up the Khyber, Camping, Again Doctor) all came out in the 1960's, it is in the 1970's that the innuendos and double entendre turned into pure filth and rubbish, especially in England and Carry on Emmannuelle - which along with this are the worst, this is a never funny and crap comedy. Poor!
This film is poor. The carry on magic is non existent. The remaining carry on regulars have little to do apart from Jim Dale. Cribbins is not bad but better in Jack and Spying. Jack Douglas is poor in this film and looks bored and wishing he was somewhere else. Whitfield and Philips are poor as the king and queen of Spain. Julian Clary is rubbish he cannot act he is unfunny and he is better off acting in the Tweenies!!!. By this time the art of making carry ons was gone. There is no regulars in this film at all. Kenneth Connor was still alive, Joan Sims was still alive Bernard Bresslaw was still alive Frankie Howerd was alive. Patsy Rowlands was still alive. Sid had been dead for 16 years. Hattie Kenny and Charlie has passed on Sadley. Barbara Windsor could have been in this to liven it up a bit. Maureen Lipman is not carry on material. There was no point in casting comedians in place of the original actors they have passed on and they will Sadley missed they where born to act. I heard they where thinking about a new Carry on Carry on London i hope they don't make it it will be sad unfunny and never the same.
I love the carry on films and will defend this particular one as I think it was good, it was not as bad as some people make out, the only thing I hated about it was that they had Americans in it and they should never have done that, the carry ons are not about the Americans, but apart from that I found it a funny film and Jim Dale is brilliant in it as usual. I know it didn't have the rest of the cast in it that we all love and no so well, but come on guys this film was not that bad and was a nice tribute to the originals. However I do think that no more carry on films should be made now as the talent just isn't there anymore, the stars of today are just not carry on material, they are not funny and do have enough to class to make a carry on film work, we should all just remember and cherish the originals now and forget about making anymore.
I think the best way of describing this film would be to start by saying that I am an avid cinema attendee and like to visit at least once a week and have done so for getting on for over ten years, and without doubt this is STILL the worst film that I have ever had the misfortune to endure. It's one of those films were you want to leave but don't because you're sure that it must get better.... and then it ends!The story is so thin and uninspiring that you wonder why the film company decided to bring this great long running series out of retirement after all these years merely to kill it stone dead. In summary awful doesn't do it justice.