Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family

6.8
2005 1 hr 35 min Documentary

In his early twenties, Sam Cagnina, oldest son of a Mafia hit man, meets Steven, a handsome 19-year old college student and they fall in love. Then, after a few years Sam offers Steven a "visionary" idea. What if they could find a woman who would fall in love with both of them and agree to live in a "trio" relationship? They spend the next 7 years dating and looking for that special woman. Finally, they meet Samantha, a young, struggling actress. THREE OF HEARTS explores this very unique trio union as they negotiate their living arangements, fall in love and open one of the hottest wellness centres in New York City. Everyone who comes in contact with them is never quite sure how the relationship works. But the one thing which seems certain is their love for each other.

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Reviews

Nonureva
2005/10/19

Really Surprised!

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Odelecol
2005/10/20

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

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TrueHello
2005/10/21

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

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AshUnow
2005/10/22

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

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postmanwhoalwaysringstwice
2005/10/23

"Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family" documents eight years in the relationship between Sam, Steve, and Samantha, three people with very strong personalities, deep love for one another, and little or no precedence for their romantic arrangement. This timely film comes during a period of divide about gay marriage, ever escalating divorce rates, and a bit of media attention on the common law marriages of our favorite celebrities. Interestingly, only the second subject is touched on here.It's a heartbreaking story about three people in search of love in the modern world. Their "tri-nogomous" relationship, as one person phrased it, is thankfully never exploited or shown as anything but far more challenging than the love between two. They are regular people who are at times quite boring, at times charming, and in the final act rather bitter.The film leaves an ache in your heart, because everything about the first two-thirds of the film felt hopeful and stable. It's unsettling to feel that a film that could inspire mainstream society to be more open to alternative visions of what means marriage and what means love could also be the reason it remains closed. This documentary is definitely a good springboard for discussion.

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das417
2005/10/24

Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Love Story, follows the lives of two men (Sam and Steven) who decide to have find a woman for their relationship. Samantha, whom they met in the early 90's, joins the two. For the next 13 years, (though the film only covers eight years), their three lives are followed as each attempts to maintain a love that is shared between not just two, but three people. A love that is honest, real, funny, emotional, and risen to new levels as two children are born into the relationship. Their love is unique, but their desire to keep that love unique and strong is what motivates Sam, Steven, and Samantha to face such challenges as family acceptance, money issues, and the issue of raising children.What makes Three Of Hearts so interesting is the combination of old family footage and interviews that make up most of the movie. Instead of just following the family around on their day to day routine, most of the movie is of Sam, Steven, and Samantha telling how they found themselves in such a relationship. They are open and honest even when discussing such person matters, joking often with each other on camera. Again, the family struggles they faced in the past as well as the struggle to gain acceptance, make up a large part of the discussions. And it is easy to see that there is a love between the three of them. There is warmth and a love that is easily seen as the three share pictures from vacations, home movies, and even simple conversations and jokes with each other. However, much as any other 'love', their relationship cannot last forever. Steven, due to unknown reasons which he claims he will not discuss, leaves the three after 13 years together. It is my belief that he has left mainly because such a relationship was just to exhausting to continue and so he wanted the fastest exit he could find. Anyway, his decision is a devastating move that forces Sam and Samantha to find support in each other as a once loved 'partner' suddenly betrays them. Resulting in bitterness that separates them from ever having any sort of real relationship again as issues such as money, support, and even caring for the family dog quickly divide Steven from Sam and Samantha. A bitterness that, unfortunately, is just as alive and emotional as it is when two partners end their relationship. Some have argued that Three Of Hearts only shows the good times and not enough of the challenges that the three would have faced from day to day. I disagree since a movie like this can only go so far in revealing what it is a person experiences. Covering a span of eight years leaves little time to just focus on the daily routines that get us all down sooner or later and an attempt to do would have only brought the movie down. The director, who was and still close to the three, made the right choice in focusing on the material given. Covering eight years with a steady focus as the relationship grows, expands, then suddenly falls. In the end, the question of love is what drives Three Of Hearts. Can love be defined in any kind of 'normal' way? Also, what the boundaries that love must have to work in stable relationship? These are all questions that we must ask no matter what our relationship is, and who we spend it with.8 out of 10.

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Nicole
2005/10/25

this movie was an amazing journey to follow through these people and their lives, as well as the effect of their 'lifestyle choice' upon family members and outsiders.ultimately the movie is about self-acceptance and responsibility. bringing to light all the issues faced by people of such situations and also really allowing them to voice their experiences.i completely fell in love with all of them because their love was actually very real. it was incomprehensible to me before i entered the theatre and yet by the end of the movie my heart was aching for all of them.i found the movie incredibly moving. i guess you end up feeling as if you've just met three new friends and you empathise with all of them as they share their lives with you. it was all just so real.it has nothing to do with the kinky connotations of such a situation and everything to do with three people in this world craving the security and foundations of a truly and deeply loving relationship, and wherein they could create a beautiful, happy world to bring up children into. that then, of course, complicates things further as children tend to do with people and their lives...suddenly issues are magnified and responsibilities are evident. the wonderful thing about this movie is that the characters are so honest. and in their honesties you see their strive towards the ultimate goal of living a happy and fulfilling life. it is inspirational to see how they have had to deal with all the pressures of society and family members and really end up dealing with themselves as they are. and it just doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, or whatever because the story isn't really about sexuality so much as it is about being un-mainstream. too many people live in this world continuing to fool themselves believing that they will remain happy as long as everyone else around them is happy and satisfied with the way they portray themselves (as 'normal'). not enough people in this world really look into the mirror and accept themselves just as they are and allow the rest of the world to either accept it or not.it's impossible to please everyone. at the end of the day, you have to accept things for yourself. (and for your children, after you've decided to have them). i highly recommend this movie to anyone who cares about living their lives as self-assured, happy people of society. and for anyone who loves to analyse human relationships and try to learn anything from viewing other peoples' lives.

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preppy-3
2005/10/26

Very good documentary. It's about two gay men (Sam Cagnina and Stephen Margolin) who want a woman in their relationship. They finally find Samantha Singh. They all live together and have sex together (not shown). Then Samantha gets pregnant. They're all happy--but the birth of a child sets off some unexpected feelings...and this family might not survive.I saw this at a film festival and, for some technical reason, they could only show it in black & white, not color. That may have affected my rating but I don't think so.This is a totally fascinating movie following a different type of family and how it works and survives. It was shot over the space of 8 years so you see them grow and change--in good and bad ways. Totally absorbing but it is a little too long--it could have been cut by a few minutes. Still it's an excellent documentary and should be seen by all open-minded people interested in a new type of family. Recommended.

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