Purely Joyful Movie!

Powerful

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

I've seen a lot of poor horror films in recent years but nothing prepared me for the mess that is CATACOMBS. Shot on the cheap in Romania by an American crew, and made with a list of unknown, amateur actors, boasting the appearance of pop star Pink in her first acting role, I have to say I wasn't expecting much. Then again, I knew the film was set in the Paris catacombs, and such places are undoubtedly good for atmosphere even if the film itself is lacking (I'm thinking the '80s Italian flick SPECTERS). Sadly, CATACOMBS wastes its setting from the start, never generating one iota of interest or intelligence from a stupid premise, and consisting of little more than a woman running around in tunnels armed with a torch, BLAIR WITCH-style.The story is particularly stupid, so bad that you wonder who on earth would greenlight a plot such as this. It goes nowhere and is riddled with holes and inadequacies. Characters behave stupidly and change motivation as the script demands and nothing at all makes sense. The worst part, though, is the twist ending, which falls flat after becoming completely laughable. The acting is poor and the direction worse. Sossamon is bland as the supposedly empathetic lead and Pink is repellent in her acting debut. There's no gore here, no action either, and the only horror comes from a two-minute flashback sequence detailing the birth of a demon child to a pair of Satanists. This flashback, with its jagged editing and extremely repulsive imagery seemed out of place in CATACOMBS. I didn't care for it at all, but at least it was something: something the rest of the entire film is lacking. What a mess.

Why wouldn't she stop screaming? "It's a prank"? Worse premise than nightmare on elm street's waking from a dream in a dream in a dream...This was on a movie channel while I was doing other things - definitely 'walk-out' material if I'd gone to a theater.I don't understand why a short and succinct review has to be 10 lines.Why wouldn't she stop screaming? "It's a prank"? Worse premise than nightmare on elm street's waking from a dream in a dream in a dream...This was on a movie channel while I was doing other things - definitely 'walk-out' material if I'd gone to a theater.I don't understand why a short and succinct review has to be 10 lines.

Being a horror fan, I've decided to venture out and watch Catacombs, hoping for substance and surprises. Nope. Never happened. Even worse, I ended up hating the heroine for her incessant whining and screaming and vulnerability. An hour of cheap camera tricks and contrasted lighting stresses you out, paired with moving flashlights just to make sure your eyes are sore near the end. The history of the Catacombs remains vague and having been to Paris and having French as my mother tongue I was a little insulted by the mere sweep Pink has to say about such a fascinating place. So, if you really want to watch it, a positive point is it will make you tense and dizzy from all that running. But, all in all, not worse than some films, but certainly painful enough for a mere 3/10.

My 10 star opinion of this movie might be a bit biased, but I'd like to think my experience isn't the only reason I like this movie nor the reason I would suggest seeing it. I've been to the catacombs recently. A Paris vacation taken summer 2009 and the catacombs were a must see on my list. At the time, I had no idea this movie existed. I'm not a huge horror fan, but I like a good scare now and then. It was pure chance this movie was sitting on the shelf when I decided I'd just browse the horror section. I'm glad I rented it. This movie was true to the way the catacombs looked and felt. It is also true that parties and cults took place in the catacombs, maybe still do. After all, there are 200 miles of labyrinth below the city. A girl getting lost could happen and I'm sure did happen. I only saw about a mile of the catacombs, what was on the tour, with dim lights and if they were to go out, a person would be lost. A totally plausible premise and a be sure to watch the directors' (more than one director) commentary, AFTER you watch the movie. Very interesting. Not too much gore either. Just enough to be released around the time of Saw and Hostel, but not so much that you lose your appetite, though do plan on losing a night of sleep after watching this movie.