I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Vampyros Lesbos is German-Spanish erotic movie with elements of horror. This is artistic flick so, as expected, it has nice camera and atmosphere and everything else is bad. Poor attempt of plot is contributed by dull acting, lousy music and idle scenes. The only thing worth something in this movie are Soledad Miranda's scenes, especially her stage performances and lesbian scenes with Ewa Stromberg. In those scenes camera, directing, colors and sexual charge of this "club 27" member achieve a somewhat hypnotizing effect which makes us forget, even just for a moment, how trashy this movie really is.3/10

When dealing with a movie as tedious as "Vampyros Lesbos", you have to force yourself to remember something about it so that you never make the mistake of watching it again. Here goes:The movie has a psychedelic soundtrack that sounds like a man calling a horse race under water while an unrelated band plays in another room.Also, the movie features arduous sex shows that I suppose are like performance art in their pointlessness. One woman, topless, removes a scrunchie wrapped around another topless woman's thigh and then falls over. Slowly. Also, the movie features a psychiatrist who treats the "main character" but actually draws stupid little pictures while he is supposed to be taking notes. Later, another psychiatrist actually believes in the occult and vampires and all that stuff and indulges his patient so that he can join "their world".The beautiful Soledad Miranda is at least ideally cast as the vampire countess, and Franco casts himself as a weird little servant to the vampires, showing uncommon insight into his own physical condition.This one is "dreamlike", of course, which is just a polite way of saying that it makes no sense in the most boring, languid possible way. It's something about a lady having lesbian dreams about a beautiful vampire, then meeting her, then finally killing her by stabbing her in the eye (this is shot so badly you won't remember it five minutes later. Some climax). The movie features so much jumping around and focusing on insignificant details (the scorpion in the swimming pool?) that it makes no sense and you are unable to care about any of the characters. If it ever shows you anything interesting it immediately cuts to maybe half an hour of random nonsense almost as punishment for you feeling your interest piqued.Oh, and it's not erotic in the least.

The acting is pretty bad, the story is really bad, but this one is worth the watch for the stunning looks of Ewa Strömberg and Soledad Miranda. I guess one of the two will also appeal to you depending on if you are either more into blondes or brunettes. For me it was Miranda (even if her dubbed voice sounded like a 60-year-old chain smoker). Sad to see that she was already dead from a car accident when this film came out. Anyway, the director and writer here is the legendary Jesús Franco, who died 2 years ago. This is among his most known works, but hopefully not among his best. Haven't seen his other works, so I can't compared. This 85-minute film here has a mix of vampire story, love story with a couple drama elements and some supernatural and pretty human dangerous characters. The only one who gave a somewhat solid performance in terms of acting was Dennis Price, but obviously he cannot save this movie and terrible script on his own. Lots of nudity in here and bush was still a thing back in the early 1970s almost 50 years ago. So yeah, not a good watch at all unless you are really horny, but then you also could go for some real stuff instead of this softcore wannabe movie. Not recommended.

Vampiros Lesbos is an extended film essay, based on Franco's lectures at a women's college at Cambridge University in 1968. In it, Franco addresses his thoughts on "the question of women and film," interpreted by Franco as many questions. In Vampiros Lesbos, Franco ponders the significant question of whether or not a woman could find the same meaning in life as men, exemplified my Count Dracula. In doing so, he examines women's historical experience as well as the distinctive struggle of the woman artist. Franco defines the question of women and film as being three inextricable questions: women and what they are like; women and the women they sleep with; and women and hoe lesbian intercourse is depicted. A couple of bothersome features: First, the words lesbianism and omnisexuality are used interchangeably throughout the film and the script pertaining to the film. Second, the genres (e.g. cunnilingus) with which each actress is associated are clearly discernible, but there is almost non-existent notation of the actresses possible connection to any of the men, or the reasons that some of these actresses were considered lesbian.