The Worst Film Ever

Highly Overrated But Still Good

This is a tender, generous movie that likes its characters and presents them as real people, full of flaws and strengths.

There are better movies of two hours length. I loved the actress'performance.

I thought this movie was entertaining, it had its flaws but delivers the goods. crispon glover is great at his part, i think he is an underrated actor, its good to see him on the screen( i loved Back to the future). i enjoyed the death scenes, although some were very far fetched, they were all fun to watch. could have used some more nudity, but at least we got a quick tity shot early on. i would enjoy a secon simon says. the filmmaking was alright, the river they were on is beautiful, i want to go there, maybe not with simon roaming around. my review is over, but i have to have ten lines to complete the review, so i will add that the lighting was OK, the acting was mediocre other than crispen, his acting was great. 6/10

The pothead Zack (Greg Cipes); the sweethearts Kate (Margo Harshman) and Riff (Artie Baxter); the slut Vicky (Carrie Finklea); and the spoiled Ashley (Kelly Vitz) travel by van to the backwoods to camp. They meet two strange graveyard diggers that advise them to leave the place otherwise they could be murdered. Then they meet the deranged retarded Simon (Crispin Glover) in the gas station and Riff has a friction with the guy. They find a paradisiac spot to camp at the riverside, but Simon and Stanley transform their holiday in a nightmarish night."Simon Says" is another absurd and stupid slasher that follows the style of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Wrong Turn" and other films of this sub-genre of horror. Crispin Glover performs an annoying character that keeps saying "and you forgot to say…Simon says" (even in the end of the credits). But the most irritating in this story is the ability and invulnerability of his undestroyable character. My vote is three.Title (Brazil): "Siga o Mestre" ("Follow the Master")

oh that was fun. Laughing-so-hard-I-fell-off-my-bed type of fun. First, as one reviewer rather effectively put it: it's raining pick-axes. Well, when it rains it pours! Lovely machinery in this forest... Just a thought in passing: either Simon/Stanley spends a lot of his free time scouring the woods for his scattered pick-axes (in which case the murderous lifestyle becomes rather understandable) or he gets fined a lot for littering. Then again, he'd just pick-axe the cop's ass and be done with it, so... Still, imagine Glover's character stalking his prey in the forest, his fiercest scowl in place .... and falling flat on his face after tripping over a forgotten pick-axe. Talk about an anticlimax... Also: "if you gonna die, might as well die high." When the resident stoner bleats that scintillating piece of wisdom, one may want to murder him. Bless Simon/Stanley's little jealous heart that he does exactly that. With . A . Giant . Joint. Yep. 'Smoking will kill you' all right. in the same vein, the dog scene was hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs. Usually, cruelty to animals in movies makes me queasy, but that stomp was just too over-the-top to be taken seriously. And afterwards, when Simon (in little-boy-lost mode) appears cradling the "sleeping" dog... awww, bless, that's almost cute. For a blood-covered psycho redneck carrying around a squashed dog-corpse. You get the idea...and ... was that an eyeball stuck to the back of the newspaper ???I can't resist adding a bit about Glover's southern (?) accent: that was awful, painful, terrible ... and very, very funny. That's the bit that clinches the deal for me: the friend I watched this with says it's a failed horror movie, but with that kind of performance in it, it just has to be a parody (especially since the rest of the characters includes Generic Jock, Generic Slut, Generic Stuck-up-kid-who-dies-first and Generic Stoner... you don't stick so closely to the rules of a genre unless you want to mess with them).So, to sum it up, we have cheese, pick-axes, more cheese, a few paintball players passing through just long enough to be slaughtered gleefully (serves them right for the dog's name), a bit more cheese, and Crispin Glover who carries the show practically alone, and does a great job of it too.

A group of friends (Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea, Kelly Vitz and Artie Baxter) decides to spin their vacation at the woods... somewhere in the middle of nowhere. They meet an odd-ball gas attendant named Stanley (Crispin Glover), which his even odder twin brother named Simon (also played by Glover). When Stanley gives them directions to the woods. His twin brothers decides to stalk these young vacationers and murder them but he has his eye on one of the vacationers... he likes so much.Written and Directed by William Dear (Angels in the Outfield "1994", Harry and the Hendersons, If Looks Could Kill) made an enjoyable bizarre wild black slasher comedy. Glover seems to be having a ball playing two weird characters. The vacationers are likable but it was tough to like them at first expect for the stoner played by Cipes. It's certainly change of pace for Writer/Director Dear, who's certainly known for making family movies.The Canadian DVD from VVS Films. DVD has an sharp anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1) transfer and an strong Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound. There's some image problems in the digital transfer. DVD has no special features. Writer/Director Dear has fun creating some clever death traps and as well... moments of black comedy. Although Dear has written too much "Simon Says" jokes, which they don't always work. "Simon Says" is notable for Glover's over the top performances in two roles. Die Hard fans of his work will certainly cherish this... while others won't. Horror fans will have a blast with this. Glover's real-life father:Bruce Glover appears in a cameo in a flashback sequence. Blake Lively from "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" fame appears in a cameo near the end of the flick. Worth a look. (*** 1/2 out of *****).