If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

If George Washington didn't cement the notion that David Gordon Green was an ambitious, careful new writer-director, his sophomore film All the Real Girls should do the honors. Here is a soft, warm, and often frighteningly realistic portrayal of a young relationship in the south, burdened by pasts no one wants to talk about and futures no one is really sure of. This is yet another film where Green magnifies tight-knit relationships in seemingly desolate communities.The film stars Paul Schneider and Zooey Deschannel (who, with short hair in later scenes, looks strikingly like actress Greta Gerwig) as Paul and Noel. Paul lives with his mother, who works as a clown at children's hospitals, and has a reputation for being a womanizer who shies away from long-term relationships. Noel is a more mature, if quirkier, young woman and the two hit it off when they first meet. Paul hangs around with a group of guys, one of whom is played by Danny McBride, and loves to have vulgar, immature dialogs. But when he hangs with Noel, he has much more intimate, mature conversations, as they see eye-to-eye on much more than they'd believe.What unfolds is a truly beautiful relationship, one where the idea of sex crosses the mind but isn't directly acted upon. This is because Paul genuinely cares about Noel's feelings, and because of this, acts in a more restrained, conservative manner. If he didn't feel so attached to her, he would've easily had sex with her a few days after knowing her and perhaps add her to the laundry list of girls he slept with in a week or so. But he becomes so close with her that it frightens him, and makes him think about how his life my change with this woman.This story wouldn't have worked half as well with lesser screen presences. Schneider and Deschannel provide leverage emotionally and narratively that wouldn't exist if the shoes of Paul and Noel were filled by performances more driven by beauty and a script more concerned with petty mawkishness. I constantly see young girls - and older ones, too - flock towards the latest film adaptations of Nicholas Sparks novels, with incredulous romances, trite instances, and utterly lame characters. The harmful effect with those films are they provide audiences, particularly females with the idea that relationships like this actually exist and picturesque beauty is a commonality in the deepest of relationships. I would recommend the same crowd All the Real Girls if I knew my recommendation wouldn't be instantly discarded when they realizes how independent, subtle, and serene the film actually is.The glue holding the film together is the score, which combines that kind of rare beauty in certain instances that would seem trivial if they weren't made noteworthy in some way. The score livens common events in the characters' lives like talking, cuddling, walking, or simple scenic shots of the south. The cinematography is done by Tim Orr, the same man who made the dreary, urban landscape of North Carolina a character in Green's George Washington. Needless to say, after providing that film with such incomparable beauty, his work here is equally impressive.All the Real Girls doesn't blind the viewer with potency in symbolism and subtlety like that film, but it makes for just as engaging of a viewing. It offers a study on a believable relationships that one is hardpressed to find in other romantic films. Just like most independent films, it isn't complete unless there are a few questionable instances, and one in particular, I can see angering viewers. It's so odd and undeveloped that it leaves a bit of a pungent aftertaste after seeing such a deep, intimate picture. But that's film.Starring: Paul Schneider, Zooey Deschanel, and Danny McBride. Directed by: David Gordon Green.

If you've seen 2007's "Snow Angels" or 2004's "Undertow" you'd know that David Gordon Green is a filmmaker of the highest caliber. "Snow Angels" is easily one of the greatest dramas ever filmed and "Undertow" is a mesmerizing piece of Southern Gothic, even while its point remains elusive. This explains why I was geared-up for a great love story/drama with 2003's "All the Real Girls," which was written & directed by Green.Alas, it was not to be. "All the Real Girls" is a huge disappointment.Understand that I love indie flicks because they're generally more creative and daring than their their Hollywood cardboard cut-out counterparts. I prefer creative, unique and daring cinema to formulaic, predictable mainstream drek. But "All the Real Girls" has all the marks of an indie flick gone horribly wrong -- tedious melodrama, uninteresting characters, horrible dialogue that's trying too hard to be "realistic" and artful. I once heard someone say that the greatest sin in cinema is to be boring and I agree. Well, "All the Real Girls" transgresses big time.The only reasons I'm not giving it less than 3 Stars are because the cinematography and locations are spectacular. The film was shot in the Asheville, Marshall & Cherokee regions of Western North Carolina. Plus the actors do a fine job (e.g. Paul Schneider, Zooey Deschanel & Patricia Clarkson) with Shea Whigham standing out as Tip, the main girl's brother who doesn't want Schneider's character taking advantage of his sister, but that angle goes nowhere. The problem wasn't the actors but rather the dull story and totally stoo-pid dialogue they got saddled with. A good example is when Schneider and Zooey are hanging out in a bowling alley, apparently near closing time because I didn't see or hear another soul, when Schneider says he wants to dance but doesn't want her to see him. So she turns around and he goes into some goofy dance antics. It's a useless, eye-rolling scene, but -- believe it or not -- it's better than the bulk of the dreadfully tedious scenes in the film.The story, on the surface, could've been interesting: A small town (supposed) Casanova falls for a young virgin just back from boarding school. She breaks his heart and he has to deal with it. (Hey, you reap what you sow, sucka). This is a theme we all can relate to one way or another, but it all comes across as a big meaningless zero.If you enjoyed "Snow Angels" and "Undertow" don't expect the same greatness here.GRADE: D+

Nothing grates quite so much as a "realistic" film that contains practically no realism at all.To its credit, "All the Real Girls" really *tries* to be true-to-life. But the dialog and performances don't convince. Characters in this film are constantly doing and saying quirky, bizarre things that real people never do or say.For example, in one of many strange "romantic" scenes, the female lead says to her boyfriend: "I had a dream last night that you were growing a garden on a trampoline. And I was so happy that I invented peanut butter." So, what are we to make of this bizarre nugget of dialog? Is it "sentimental"? Is it "deep"? And is it the kind of thing that I would say on a date? (I'll answer the last question for you -- "no.") It's none of those things, it's just ridiculous ... the product of a strange, artificial mode of speech peculiar to American art-house movies.In another weird moment, our romantic leads are standing in an inexplicably deserted bowling alley (did they break in after hours?) The guy says to his girlfriend something like, "I wanna dance, but I don't want you to watch me. Turn around." So she turns around. And then he dances like a doofus. Do even goofy teenagers behave like this on dates? And am I really supposed to believe that this awkward-as-anything guy is a ladies' man, as we are repeatedly told (but not actually shown)? Other exciting scenes involve a lengthy discussion of what's better to eat for breakfast, pancakes or eggs; a woman in a clown costume declaring something like "I used to be beautiful, but now I am this clown"; and a scuffle in which an unimportant character gets beaten severely and choked, and is then totally forgotten about by all the other characters, the director, and the screenwriter. One of many strange lapses in a film of lapses.So, if your idea of a good time is to spend almost two hours in indie movie hell, watching a non-plot crawl along at the pace of a half-dead snail, while two superficial and thinly drawn characters alternate between flirting ridiculously and exchanging depressing anecdotes on their path to falling in a desperately superficial form of love ... well then, this may be the motion picture for you. I, for one, will be watching something like "Smiles of a Summer Night" or "Terror of Mechagodzilla" instead.

*spoilers* Another movie where a guy who has mistreated woman in the past learns some tough, hard lessons. It's not a movie where a woman learns any lessons about how to treat guys, because those movies are rarely made. Women don't have to learn any lessons, unless it's to help the fulfillment of their own lives. Women are angels. They never mistreat men, are never manipulative, cruel, or cold, and if they are, the guy "deserved" it.Zooey finally finds a guy who she loves, trusts, cares about, enjoys being with and just staring at, and then on a whim cheats on him at a weekend party. Out of nowhere, and it totally seemed out of place for her character and their relationship. She was a virgin too. You would think she would have wanted to lose her virginity with Paul Schneider, which I think she didn't unless I missed something. I don't know why guys are being fooled by this movie. Zooey's cruel treatment of Paul after she cheated on him was awful. The only guys watching the movie who would be okay with that are the ones with male guilt complex and think guys deserve to be treated badly.Then there's the usual scene where Paul and Zooey are having sex and Zooey has an uninterested and bored look on her face, as if she's just having sex to get it over with and quickly satisfy him. She gets nothing out of it. How many times have we seen this? How's about something different, like showing a guy with a bored look on his face. That happens in real life. A lot. But movies pretend it doesn't.I don't know why people are calling this movie realistic. Did you hear the dialogue? It was very "indie". A little off. Conservations were weird and didn't make too much sense. A lot of it sounded ad-libbed, which is great but it didn't sound like the way people actually talk. Then there was a scene in a bowling alley. They are standing in a lane and Paul starts dancing while Zooey is facing away from him. Sooo indie.I gave the movie a 5 because I like Paul Schneider and as many guys I love Zooey Deschanel. They were both pretty good along with the other actors, but like I said their dialogue was painful at times. I needed someone to just say something normal for once, or to just lighten up. I know poor, rural towns can be depressing, but this is agony.