Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
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- Cast:
- Jeremy Renner , Gemma Arterton , Famke Janssen , Pihla Viitala , Derek Mears , Robin Atkin Downes , Ingrid Bolsø Berdal
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Reviews
Wonderful character development!
That was an excellent one.
Best movie ever!
If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.
Fun movie, lots of excitement, energy, and well cast...
It's fun violent, and nothing cheesy of what I would assume people expect. It's a juiced up version of all the old school ginger bread house flicks I would hear as a kid. Now with guns! It's a great way to evolve it into a fantasy action movie.... now sure what the category would be. It's fun, violent, funny, now all they need is a video game ....
When someone claims to re-imagine something in Hollywood, it's a sure sign the person has no imagination. If you can't come up with something of your own, you may as well ruin someone else's stuff.This movie is a boring, meandering, poorly scripted, poorly acted, poorly choreographed, poorly filmed, poorly costumed, poorly arted (is that a word) crap fest. It would be OK if it was funny or fun, but it's neither of those.For half the movie, guns and other weapons work on the witches. Then, suddenly, they become impervious to guns and other weapons. The witches' big plot is to make themselves impervious to fire. They need the top white witch's heart to do that. But that doesn't matter because the good guys find a book that lets them bless weapons, so the weapons again work on the witches (like the weapons worked in the first half of the movie).There's a back story about H and G's mom being a good witch who wouldn't run last time the evil witches tried to become impervious to fire. Oh yeah, their original plan was to have the towns folk burn H and G's mom, which would have destroyed her heart. The witches wouldn't have been able to use the heart to make them impervious to fire.Ah, the story makes no sense.
Cinema is the art of adopting points of view and this one is unrelentingly poor in that way. Actors walk onto a figurative stage, mouthing off crucial lines about where we are in the plot, everything wooden. The story is trivial anyhow, the characters of the fairytale have grown up to be witch hunters in the vein of the action hero where they sling guns over shoulders and sashay in leather pants.Which means that it's exactly what it looks like it was going to be from the cover, an action movie adopting the skin of dark fantasy, much like Van Helsing, with medieval backdrops and gnarly monsters.Choppy so long as there's a plot where we must pretend that characters are facing odds that have some nailbiting significance, they're not really, even when shot or abducted. All that carries about as much gravity and surprise as watching someone pour cookie dough in a mold, biting our nails about whether or not a baked cookie is going to come out on the other end.On the upside it moves fast and leaves a trail of splatter. When we no longer have to bother with plot, we get a nice showdown up in the woods where a coven of witches is about to perform the climactic ceremony that night. The witches look rotten and ugly and there's a variety of them, the heroes plow and mow through them with guns and knives.