I love this movie so much

Good concept, poorly executed.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

I attended a Catholic school in my youth and that's why, when I saw a story written by Charles Purpura about life in a Catholic setting I had to see how many inaccuracies they would offer. The film is called " Heaven Help Us " directed by Michael Dinner. It purports to relate the story of a transfer student named Michael Dunn (Andrew McCarthy) who due to family problems is transferred to a new academic setting. The headmaster of the school is Brother Thadeus (Donald Sutherland) a fair minded, but serious disciplinarian who reminds all students of the obligation they owe to friends, family and community at large. Dunn is befriended by a local group led by a bragging, trouble starting, self- centered boy named Rooney (Kevin Dillon) who reminds Dunn of the need for close friendship and loyalty. Although one or two of the Teachers are harsh and overly strict, favor the physical punishment by the 'Rod', most are good souls like Brother Timothy (John Heard) who offer understanding and compassion. This surprising story is full of wonderful school memories and innocent interaction with young girls. Indeed, most of the film allow audiences to re-live their youth, if only to remember the social difficulties which many thought would never end. The result, a fond look at yesterday and the actors who reminded us of ourselves. Great fun. ****

I disagree with previous reviewers who called this movie anti-catholic bigotry. I think the humor is in good fun, and the film is ultimately respectful of Catholic worship and traditions. I am catholic and I am not offended. I also think the corporal punishment scenes are quite real and not "over the top." The catholic high school I attended did allow slapping, punching, kneeling on cement, being in push up position, kicks in the butt, slams into lockers, and hard paddlings. Frankly I was glad I never had to take that scary stuff on the open palms; brothers who used paddles or straps were mercifully allowed to strike only the buttocks. We also had to swim nude, but after the first embarrassing freshman day it was no big deal. Virtually all boys at all schools had to use public showers, so why is nude swimming a big deal? A brief synopsis: Michael Dunn is a Boston teenager sent to live in Brooklyn. His chain-smoking grandmother has delusions about him being a priest someday, and he is sent to a rigid, stern Catholic boys academy. After befriending the school's brain and a group of non-academic goofballs, he ends up in trouble with the school's strictest teacher, the unethical Bro. Constance. Michael falls in love with a local girl, a truant who runs a soda fountain and takes care of her disabled father. The brothers shut down the shop, and the police take the girlfriend away. A hilarious prank is launched for revenge, and chaos ensues. This film succeeds on two levels: it is both a comment on Catholic education and an engrossing character study. You really come to love and root for the characters.

A friend of mine who's an organist at a Catholic parish in New Jersey told me that the school used for the setting of Heaven Help Us is not to far from him in New Jersey. The area looks more like Brooklyn in 1965 than Brooklyn does. Having graduated a public high school in Brooklyn of that year, I can attest to that.I can also attest to the fact that for people I knew in Catholic school at the time this movie really does hit the mark. Those who were taught by Brothers as they were here, told me that they ranged in character from idealistic John Heard to the sadistic Jay Patterson to father figure Donald Sutherland. And a few in between also with some issues.One has to remember that this was the New York City of Robert Wagner in his last year as Mayor and with Wagner's blessing, Cardinal Spellman still had virtual carte blanche over his domain. Tommy Becket would have envied what he achieved over civil government. When you see those brothers invading that candy store, that's no exaggeration.When I was a lad in Brooklyn, we had a candy store around the corner from a Catholic grade school. It was run by Mr. Lobenstein who was Jewish. Yet it was a refuge for the Catholic grade schoolers like the store that Mary Stuart Masterson is running for her Dad. The nuns would think nothing of going there to haul their charges back to class should they be late.The nude swimming in the high school pool is no exaggeration. It's a boys school so presumably we all have nothing to hide. I did love Philip Bosco as the brother gym teacher telling the Catholic youth they had to get in shape to fight the Communists. This would have been standard dogma from Spellman. Of course some poor closeted gay kid would have been going completely out of his mind in that setting. And as we see in the end there was at least one.The five student protagonists are Kevin Dillon, Andrew McCarthy, Malcolm Denare, Patrick Dempsey, and Stephen Geoffreys. Stephen Geoffreys the poor sexually frustrated kid who was constantly doing some self fulfillment left acting for a career in male porn. However it is the dynamic of the relationship between Kevin Dillon and Andrew McCarthy that drives the film. I met quite a few back in the day who were like both Dillon and McCarthy. Dillon is the school rebel, but McCarthy is the one who commits the ultimate act of defiance.The best performance in the film is by Jay Patterson as Brother Constance. The only thing I can say is that the man had issues. I really can't say more, you have to see Heaven Help Us. The man on some level truly thought he was building character.Last year the movie Saved came out and did for Protestant Christian schools what Heaven Help Us does for Catholic education. That's the best description I can give it.

Sixteen-year-old Michael Dunn (Andrew McCarthy) has just arrived in Brooklyn and has started at a new school, St. Basil's for Boys. While at Saint Basils he confronts Caesar (Malcolm Danare) the school nerd, Rooney (Kevin Dillon) the school bully, and Brother Constance (Jay Patterson) the violent teacher. Somehow Dunn manages to become friends with Caesar and Rooney all the while Rooney calling Caesar a faggot. All the while they collide with the girls school and the violent Brother Constance. It is truly a bunch of teens being against authority (what else is new) and trying to have a good time. But soon Dunn's life turns when he falls in love with the local tomboy Danni (Mary Stuart Masterson) and a new defiance comes within the boys causing an uproar between the faculty. The students soon have an ally of their own in the faculty in Father Timothy (John Heard) and helps the boys to come-of-age. The movie is very dark and tells of the a very bad era in Catholic teaching (priests smacking students, banging heads against blackboards, and paddling) and gives a sense of how students aren't powerless. Each character is developed throughout the film and the plot is heavy with points of emotion and depression.Heaven Help Us. Starring: Andrew McCarthy, Malcolm Danare, Kevin Dillon, Mary Stuart Masterson, Donald Southerland, and John Heard.4 out of 5 Stars.