Simply A Masterpiece

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

From my favorite movies..

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

Maybe even the worst. I watched this film a few weeks ago. I wish I didn't. I was actually really excited because I am a huge fan of Malcolm and I do enjoy watching Hugh Grant(though not a real fan). I was so disappointed. Half the time I didn't know what was going on, the rest of the time I tried to figure out how long it was until it was finished. I was even more confused at the end. It was so bad I had to laugh and just ask "Was that it? What? How? Why?" during the credits. I was always hoping for it to be more exciting, but nothing ever happened. The cinematography, directing and editing was just awful. There was no real story and you end up with more questions afterwards than when you first started the film, and no answers. I had to read about the film later to find out that the character Malcolm plays (simply called "the stranger" in the credits), is actually supposed to be the Devil himself. That made it even more confusing. I am very generous to give it a 2, and it is simply because Malcolm was really looking hot in this one. But that doesn't really help. People say he sunk really low in Caligula, but that was hundred times better than this rubbish. I gave that an 8. For me Night Train to Venice is the lowest Malcolm has sunk thus far (I've seen more than 25 of his films). I wish I never saw it and if I were to see it again, I would simply skip to the shots with Malcolm in. But it is really awful, avoid it at all cost, even if you are a massive fan of either Hugh or Malcolm.

I saw the rating of 2.0 when I browsed the four films on this DVD. I wasn't expecting much, but I expected a bit more than this. Hugh Grant, Malcolm McDowell, a suspense thriller, I thought maybe a 3 or even a 4/10.But there was not a single redeemable quality to it, not one and the 2.0 average rating looks extremely generous. You find yourself asking all sorts of questions throughout, outside of the obvious "what the hell am I wasting my time with this for". Why characters are doing what they are doing, why has this happened, what it is, why has it gone to slow-motion...but they're all rhetorical questions as you know nobody has the faintest idea, even those that wrote it probably.The end makes no sense - following on nicely from the previous 90 minutes. The cameraman at times was either sloshed or in hysterics (probably at taking a wage for a film like this) that the shots jump around all over the place, I'm sure he trips over while filming at one point.There's an recurring focus on a pigeon flying around the sky, which at first is unnecessary and irritating but by the end the pigeon is one of the few who come away with any credit at all and leave with his head held high.By my reckoning Hugh Grant and Vera have sex three times within 24 hours of meeting and by the end of the first full night are chatting away like they're Terry and June when in reality they've known each other less than a day.There are some films down at the 1/10s, the Robin Askwith ones, where they are so bad they are quite amusing for it. This wasn't one of those.

Two further oddities in this surrealistic mess: this seems actually to be the last film the Swedish born actress Kristina Söderbaum ever made. In the Thirties and Forties she was a big star of Nazi cinema and appeared in propaganda films such as the anti-semitic JUD SUESS (1940) and KOLBERG (1945), directed by her husband Veit Harlan. After the war she was much criticized for her participation in these pictures, so maybe the old lady thought she would do something good appearing in a film where she gets threatened by Neo-Nazis and has visions of burning books. In any case it is an ironic choice as well as a sad one, as she was a capable actress and would have deserved a much better good-bye to the screen than that.The second oddity I somewhat nerdily noticed is that this film was written by Leo Tichat who directed some kind of Austrian "Nouvelle Vague" attempt with the feature-length DIE VERWUNDBAREN (The Vulnerable Ones, 1967), which was released as part of a "essential Austrian cinema" DVD series a few years ago. This film also has a reputation of pioneering the unbiased treatment of gay people in cinema, but apart from that it is a dreary unwatchable mess. He also wrote the screenplay to another semi-legendary Austrian failure, EGON SCHIELE - EXZESSE (1981) starring Matthieu Carrière, Jane Birkin and Marcel Ophüls.

OK this is more a list of events...there is NO storyline to this film.Me and a couple of mates somehow came across this DVD and decided to watch it.....what followed was a strange time in my life. i felt....disorientated...confused....scared...and amused (and that wasn't the beer).The plot follows some kind of meaningless nothing to nowhere and acting looks like it has been done by the actors as they sleep.Hugh Grant get on a train to Venice, he's writing a book on neo Nazis. Some neo Nazis get on it too and throw the conductor out of a window. they cut Hugh Grants hand then he goes and randomly sleeps with some woman, whose kid went missing. He gives her a floppy disk and says it contains a book and that she must keep it safe. OK.....Now they all get off the train together and decide to live together until grant goes and breaks into a warehouse and some people chase him out. Grant gets on a motorbike and some men chase him in a car. the car crashes and explodes and grant falls off his bike and lands on his head! (Explains a lot it think) I think he's then in a coma or something, then he wakes up and forgets everything. he has sex again the goes to drink some tea at a café, his woman comes along and gives him the disk back.....then grant runs halfway across Venice, falling through a pain of glass being carried down the street by 2 men (as u see all the time in Venice) some shots of someone walking up stairs are cut into this, and the love interests daughter is balancing on the edge of a balcony. Oops she falls but grant catches her and then.....well that's the end....a cheesy music comes on and grant has sex again and some of the shots are repeated.Malcolm McDowell just follows them round and ALL he does is stare at them from a distance.This film probably has about 30 Min's of footage. every McDowell shot is in slow mo and there are probably about 20mins of montages.But if u no anything about film...its so bad...its actually worth watching just so you can laugh at it.