Sadly Over-hyped

It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

This schlock-ridden beauty is a christmas horror gem of the it's-so-bad-it's good variety.The plotline is gold.Nazis have genetically engineered the master race gene into elves buried in an american forest. The man behind this plot impregnated his own daughter, as part of a scheme to create the perfect human- specifically designed to procreate with these elves. Hence, his granddaughter is the focus of an ancient prophecy come to fruition...as she is to breed with the elf at midnight on christmas morning, to bring forth the antichrist and master race- who will rule over the entire world.But she has no idea about any of this...until, well, her friends start getting murdered by nazi occult priests and the elf itself.Up to this point, she's just a rad 80's chick, upset with the outrageousness of this square world...shooting the shit with her girlfriends and getting up to no good. At least when she's not working.One night, she and her girlfriends break into the department store where she works. They plan to party...but are are interrupted with this whole fiasco, before they get a chance to let loose.Now, her, Santa, and her little brother must take on and destroy the elf, before she gets raped and knocked up with the antichrist by it.This film is cheesy as hell, but the elf is kinda cool (though, also totally lame), and its full of awesomely quotable one liners. There's even some tension in there! Meaning, it's pretty much everything you want in a christmas horror this holiday season.Recommended.6 out of 10.

I think we have another winner… The plot of "Elves" definitely has earned a spot in top 10 most bonkers and randomly senseless plots ever penned down for a horror movie! It's a Christmas movie, and for once it doesn't revolve about an escaped lunatic killer in a Santa Clause suit! Instead, writer/director Jeffrey Mandel (who?) cooked up a Christmas goulash with bizarre ingredients like evil Nazi doctors, sickening incest confessions, shopping mall Santa heroes, gratuitous kitty-cat killings and a hideous two-foot tall Elf creature! That's right by the way; the film is called "Elves" (plural) even though there's only one elf (singular) on display. Are you ready for the plot summary? I bet you aren't… Close to Christmas, 17-year-old Kirsten and her two bimbo friends unwittingly summon a demonic little Elf-creature in the woods. Little do they know that Kirsten's now crippled grandfather once was a Nazi scientist who designed the plans for the creation of a superior master race. The elf creature has to breed with the virgin Kirsten (whose grandfather is, in fact, also her father) on Christmas Eve. Kirsten works in a department store where the homeless and chain- smoking replacement Santa Clause is the only one who can rescue her from the claws of the retarded Nazi-elf! "Elves" is terrible and inept, but simultaneously hilarious and easily one of the most entertaining "so-bad-it's-good" movies I've seen in a long time. Each and every single character in this film is deranged, like the loathsome mother who hates her own daughter so much that she drowns her beloved cat in the toilet (though, eventually, it does turn out she has a very good reason to hate her) or Grandpa's demented Nazi accomplices. Even though the tone of the film is nonsensical and fairly light-headed, there are a couple of vile and misplaced gory sequences, like the slaughter of Kirsten's two idiot friends. The acting performances from the entire cast are atrocious, but main star Dan Haggerty is the worst of all. He speaks in the same tone of voice throughout the entire film, whether he's calm or excited, and he looks as if he's sorely missing the times he was a successful actor playing a hermit living amidst the grizzly bears. His character also has some of the dumbest lines in cinematic history, like for example when he's beating up one of the Nazis and asks him – in between two smashes – how many teeth he has left.

The plot of "Elves" is painfully stupid:after the local department store Santa is stabbed in the crotch by a Nazi elf Dan Haggerty takes the job but soon regrets his decision when he accidentally meets the girl who the elf is chasing.It seems that she's the only virgin in town whose grandfather is also her father and if the elf takes her virginity at midnight on Christmas Eve then their child will be the Antichrist!"Elves" is silly and horrendously bad.Worst of all there is only one elf.However I must admit that I laughed few times during this obnoxious pile of crap.The acting is wooden,the special effects stunk and the lighting is poor.Even the death scenes are bad.2 out of 10.

A genetically engineered elf (One, I repeat, ONE elf.) pursues the virginal daughter of it's Nazi scientist creator and runs afoul of a chain smoking ex-detective turned department store Santa. I would have loved to be in the room when this was pitched!So, yeah, teens get slashed, conspiracies get exposed, university professors get pestered. We also find out why you should never wander around a department store in your underwear, why you should always listen to your grandpa (even if he is a Nazi), and how to use a teen's head to open a locked security door. Plus, Dan Haggerty even manages to raise his voice above a mumble! What more could you want? If you only see a few thousand films in your life, make sure that THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM!