I'll tell you why so serious

As Good As It Gets

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Full disclosure:I'm yet another of those "Love the first four albums, hate the rest" Metallica fans. I approached the documentary a year after it came out and with no preconceptions. I hadn't heard the "St. Anger" album. And I was, well, not shocked exactly but quite disappointed. Not with the film, which is interesting in a trainwreck sort of way, but in the fact that the train ever reached a point that it crashed. When Metallica came along they were SPECIAL! I purchased several albums the day I purchased my first album by them (Master) and they totally blew not only MY mind but the minds of the other rock fans in the small town I grew up in. Metallica became "our" band, much as they did for many others.I just watched SKOM again to see if the passing of years had been kind to it. They haven't. Watching James attempt to get himself sober and Lars being a whiny spoiled child is definitely entertaining in all the wrong ways. Lars telling James that he's being self centered is, ironically, the most self centered thing I've ever heard a rock musician say. Kirk Hammett almost seems to have Stockholm Syndrome. He seems so kowtowed by the two leaders makes me believe he feels he couldn't do anything on his own and he is stuck. Which may very well be true but it's hard to watch. The entire thing is hard to watch. 40 something year old millionaires attempting to be angry teenagers is unflattering and frankly embarrassing. After the release of the documentary and the horrible album that came from these sessions, Metallica attempted to release another album on which they "went back to their roots". It was no better. Now in 2016 and a full eight years since their last new music was released, Metallica is for all intents and purposes on par with the current lineup of KISS. Going out flogging the hits, being the world's greatest Metallica cover band. Jason Newsted left the band just as SKOM was being filmed. He made enough money in Metallica that he can do what he wants with his time and talent now with no concern over cash. For Metallica it's all about the money. Sad But True.

SKOM shows the inside workings of a mega-band that has been reduced over the years to a mere cynical money-making machine; there is no inspiration left to make music, no will to go on because it's fun - only a drive to somehow continue (on reserve energy), motivated solely by greed and other people's expectations/pressures (management, fans, family members etc.). Watching Metallica's management kiss Hetfield's a**, among other things by lying through their teeth about how great the "St.Anger" material is - it simply doesn't get any sleazier than that. Hetfield lacks the drive hence inspiration to write good music not because he's a wasted alcoholic but because he's simply sick and tired of being in Metallica. He's been in the band for over 20 years; it's not interesting anymore. It's that simple, and I believe this must be quite obvious to anyone not blinded by their devotion to this by now utterly useless band. I love the first three albums they made, but there is no question that there has been a steady decline in the quality of their material since "Justice". The black album has only one great track, whereas their "Load/Reload" phase offers almost nothing but yawn-inducing clichés and a new-and-DISimproved vocal style. Even worse was to follow: "St.Anger" is a badly produced (on purpose; how very "hip" of them) piece of crap with one good riff. (That "tick-tick-tock-tick" opener made me laugh as if I was listening to Spinal Tap; amazingly bad.) It was a pathetic attempt to imitate nu-metal, almost unlistenable. Metallica used to set standards that everyone followed, but now they merely follow what others do.Secondly, the movie does not mask the ugly side of certain people here, although it must be said that many ugly character traits were unintentionally exposed. This movie DOES end up humanizing the band members, but not in a way that was perhaps intended: Metallica members come off mostly as the type of tired, jaded, too-rich-to-care-about-the-music bunch of old f*rts that I already assumed they had become. There was criticism about Hetfield taking his daughter to ballet lessons, or Ulrich changing his kid's diapers. Frankly, I couldn't care less if they dressed up as women (they certainly wore make-up in their "Load" phase), played golf, sobbed at Barbra Streisand concerts, or even peed in their pants. As long as they made good music, none of that other stuff would matter.SKOM reveals the band dynamics. Hetfield is god, master, and whip, his word is final; he is the musical genius whose inspiration has all but dried up, an increasing diva-like presence in a world that is supposed not to have that many divas. When he calls it quits, the band will be finished. Ulrich is the driving force, the relentlessly ambitious Giftzwerg, the tireless little Dane who keeps milking the Metallica name for all its worth. A businessman to a fault (and a mediocre drummer); an unlikable blabbermouth but savvy. Kirk is the slightly effeminate bisexual wuss who, although practically a founding member, has almost no voice in the band - but he is just fine with that. Kirk simply goes with the flow. Whether the next album will be country, or thrash, or nu-metal or pop (which is decided solely by Ulrich/Hetfield) - Kirk will always play along, never complaining too much. Newsted, of course, is the guy who was getting increasingly disgusted by the whole charade, but in my book left a little too late to save his image. He comes off as the sole voice of reason in the entire movie. Ironically, he is the least talented and had always been the least important member.One of the film's most memorable moments is Ulrich having an awkward heart-to-heart with Dave Mustaine. It's no secret that Dave still harbors resentment about getting kicked out, but I believe very few people, myself included, had even an inkling that Mustaine's obsession with Metallica went to such extremes. (Maybe that BS shrink can help...) It was fascinating but also embarrassing to watch; Mustaine coming close to tears was like watching a train-wreck. Mustaine later disowned/regretted his participation in the film, saying that the reason he acted that way was because it was taped only several days after 9/11. Actually, shouldn't that event have had the opposite effect on Dave? Perhaps 3,000 people getting blown up and crushed should have placed his petty little "problems" in the right perspective. It was good that they threw him out: a junkie and a megalomaniac. Just how many egos could Metallica have withstood, what with Lars's and James's humongous egos clashing regularly as it is? One has to really wonder whether the makers of this movie conned Lars & co. (sorry, I meant James & co.) into thinking that an honest approach to film-making was the best idea. (It's great for the film-makers, not necessarily for the people being filmed.) Or are Lars and James so blinded by their egos to actually believe that they couldn't come off like jerks no matter how the film was edited? What kind of sycophantic rabid fans did they bring in to screen SKOM. The comments that the test-screen audience made were cringe-worthy. Were they afraid of admitting the truth about their idols to themselves, or were they merely afraid of getting booed, or being cut out in the editing room? Lars mouth-watering with delight as he watches his art collection sell for millions of dollars at an auction pretty much says it all about this band. They are putting out albums just to maintain their ultra-luxurious life-styles. "St.Anger" should really have been called "Angry For Having To Be In The Studio Again".The less said about that charlatan shrink the better. And google "vjetropev" and "james hetfield"; you'll find a fun article there.

In 1991, after a career spanning four albums and the death of one of history's most talented bassists, Metallica released an album that sold tens of millions of copies worldwide and made them household names. And over the next couple of years, the cult of Metallica became so feverish it was literally impossible to escape mention or playback of the band. And that was when the first cracks in the band's image as a band of the people, only out there to provide alternatives, appeared. After saturating the market with live albums, videos, and merchandise, Metallica reached the point I am sure the members liked to kid themselves they would not. In other words, they began to repel audiences through mere mention. And with their material becoming progressively more poppy, more formulaic, not to mention more predictable, one sees the point at which they should have given up the ghost was now at least thirteen years in the past. Former fans used to urge them to retire while they had a shred of dignity left. It is now too late for that.An aspect of the anti-MP3 tirades from Lars that fans or former fans do not often mention is that Lars is scared out of his mind of the Internet and MP3. Not because of the possibility of theft of his music (this, from a band that gained much of its initial notoriety through tape-trading). Rather, it is because MP3 to a large extent levels the playing field in terms of exposure. It is now just as easy for bands signed to labels that do not have million-dollar warchests to saturate the listener with to reach a new audience. And as anyone familiar with the black or doom metal undergrounds can tell you, those bands utterly destroy any claim to uniqueness the band has. Speedy, blinding drum patterns with integrated guitar progression? Morbid Angel or Kataklysm do it far better. And the more I emphasise that Therion have had choirs and orchestras as an integral component of their material since before Metallica's post-black-album crisis of how to revive suddenly ailing record sales, the better.So when one sits down to view Some Kind Of Monster with those facts in mind, it only further exposes what a bunch of ignorant, spoiled children Metallica really are. Some say that everything the band had in terms of potential or soul died with Cliff Burton, and while it took a while for this to become apparent, I can only agree. If Burton were alive today, he would be shaking his head in disbelief at what burgeois babies his former bandmates have turned into. Fortunately, Burton's successor, a man I had thought of as a poseur going by the name of Jason Newsted, wins back audience respect by showing enough disbelief for both himself and Burton. Whilst I would be the first to protest that there are many problems a hundred million dollars cannot cure, the willingness of the band to rub their possession of such money in the face of their audience says a lot about the true nature of their problems. Not only that, but the fact that their problems are entirely voluntary while people with problems of an involuntary nature who barely have enough to eat, leave alone make a film about the matter...Well, to put it bluntly, this is not just a slap in the face to fans, former or otherwise. This same bunch of children is sitting here and giving an entire world the finger. Their propensity to blame everyone but themselves for their misfortunes, regardless of their merit, only highlights the problem. Were I able, I would strap James and Lars into seats and force them to watch people comment on this documentary. Perhaps then they might understand that their declining sales have nothing to do with piracy, MP3 trading, or even bootlegging. The party with the most responsibility for the fact that the party is now over stares them in the face every day when they look in a mirror. What makes it even more sad is that even admitting this to themselves and changing the manner in which they conduct themselves accordingly will not fix things anymore. They have literally soiled their nest so badly that they could go to another planet and they would still be that talentless band who were given everything and chose to rub it in everyone's faces.Does this mean the documentary is entirely worthless? Well, no, there are moments in which outside observers quietly spin the affair into something real, which is where most of the comedy is derived from. As James, Lars, and to a lesser extent Kirk all make themselves look like bigger and bigger idiots, it is people like Dave Mustaine or Torben Ulrich who come off looking the best. The former because he shows us that just because you have a number one single and multi-platinum album does not mean you are more successful. The latter because he speaks the mind of every truly musical person on the planet when Lars plays him the track the band is thinking of opening the new album with, by telling Lars quite plainly that he would throw it in the trash, never to be heard again. The problem with the latter scene being that it has come about fourteen years too late. For reasons like this, one could view Some Kind Of Monster as a kind of black comedy. It is funny to laugh at a pack of yuppie idiots who have no idea what is going on. But it is also sad to think of what they could have been.Some Kind Of Monster is a one out of ten film. The band doubtless intended it to be brilliant, but I doubt they meant to accomplish that by being this stupid.

A documentary chronicling rock band Metallica's struggle to write and record their 2004 album St Anger in the face of creative burnout and personal animosity.I like Metallica's music a lot. I'm not sure I like them very much. This documentary however is a unique fly-on-the-wall video diary of their squabbles and triumphs over a two-year period. For fans it's a great insight into their process of recording. For others it's still a keenly-observed little drama of clashing rockstar egos in a nutty little family; Ulrich is the driven, obsessive backbone of the band, determined to produce the best work he can, Hetfield is the classic disillusioned alcoholic creative genius control-freak, Hammett is the nice guy in the middle, Rock is the voice of common sense, and Towle is a self-therapy guru who alternately brings them closer and alienates them. There are also candid comments from ex-bassist Newsted (who left because he felt creatively stifled and doesn't regret it for a moment) and ex-guitarist Mustaine (who got kicked out because of his addictions and has regretted it ever since). The movie isn't really about music, it's about the people and their relationships, so for me it's not on a par with great rock-documentary fusions like The Kids Are Alright and The Great Rock 'n 'Roll Swindle, but it's painfully honest and kinda touching. And some of the arguments are pretty close to This Is Spinal Tap lunacy; my favourite is when Hetfield, on a stress-reducing regime whereby he stops working at four in the afternoon, insists nobody else do any work after that, prompting Ulrich to launch into a rant of epic proportions. I can't really recommend this movie; it's a candid and well-made documentary about some great rockers, but it's no substitute for their music. What I find astonishing about Metallica is their popularity; their 1991 "Black" album, which had no cover, no name and received hardly any mainstream commercial promotion, was the biggest selling record of that year, bar none. How is that possible ? Because they're incredible musicians. Check out this flick if you're interested, but for a real treat see their 1999 S & M concert with the late great Michael Kamen and the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra. That's rock and roll. 5/10