Powerful

It is a performances centric movie

Awesome Movie

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Maybe the number of the people who love Dennis Rodman is few. But I'm sure the number of the people who can actually stand looking at him is fewer ! He's a celebrity who was having a fine hour in the late 1990s. So why not making movies. There are fool fans to watch, and companies to win money. Therefore let's film an action thriller named (Simon Sez) starring that walking store of earrings, that heavy bad joke, and that Madonna's ex-lover too, who occasionally plays basketball !By the way it's a Germany/Belgium/USA production. I always say be aware of the European sense of humor. Sometimes there is none. Though this movie has none humor, action, thrill, acting, or any kind of attractiveness at all. So who cares about the absence of humor ? The problem though is that it has nothing but an ugly time that alleges having all of the above! Think like this : it's a long video clip meets camp James Bond meets the independent B-movie crap meets any bad nightmare you have ever seen. P.S : The hero, the sidekick, the evil guy, and the girl they all belong to the bad nightmare part ! It'll make you nauseated and dizzy. Rarely to see a movie that oozes awfulness with this much. The presence of its leads gives it even more awfulness. I bet they can turn off the 2 or 3 idiots who got hocked by this movie in its start !In the same year of 1999, there was one true Bond (The World Is Not Enough). And one Bond spoof (Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me). Now (Simon Sez) is like something in a faceless middle. It couldn't be neither. Or anything different with a good taste either. Well, to tell you the truth, this could have been good in one case; if everything was changed! It's poor, provocative, and totally detestable. I feel I'm talking about Dennis Rodman here! But believe it or not, the miracle has happened; I loved some things about it ! Yes !! It's 1) The explosions. 2) A funny take on a phrase has been said 4 years earlier in (Brave Heart). I'll let you discover it yourself (maybe according to my extreme need of having someone to share my grief over experiencing this movie alone !).Watch it only to tell your young grandchildren that you saw the hobgoblin once, yet in a form of a movie !

We all have had jobs where we are only there for the wage and have no allusion that it is a terrible job and that some day we will do better, but for now this will do. Well, I cannot imagine that filmmakers are any different and, as such, Simon Sez must have been one of the films where, eventually, everyone was just clocking in to get the job done, without any allusions about what a terrible piece of junk they were involved in. It is not any one thing about it that makes it terrible so much as, well, everything. The plotting is pretty poor to being with in general sweep down to the detail. Well, actually that is not fair because I suppose the overall kidnap plot could MAYBE have been turned into something good if every aspect of it was not so badly done. It isn't just the silly cars with parachutes built into them, or the stupid fight scenes but just how generally incoherent and cheap the whole mess feels.This feeds over into the characters which are either lazy clichés delivered in basic terms or, worse, embarrassing "comedy" characters that are as funny as being on fire. Of course we have all see "bad" films which are enjoyable because the action scenes work in big fun ways and I guess Simon Sez was never going to produce tension so this was the way to go. However it is never fun and instead the action sequences just feel so incredibly poor, like director Elders just thought pointing the camera at people firing guns or jumping around would be enough, which it isn't. The cast are perfect for this and they are roundly terrible. Rodman is a massive stiff board of a man without any of the fluid movement he showed in the NBA at his best and certainly none of the passion – he is the charisma version of dark matter. Dane Cook is worse though because he tries really hard. Now, I kinda like his goofy performances in other things but here he is given sh1t to work with and he performs accordingly with an unfunny and irritating character – his "get prehistoric" doesn't get shaken from the memory easily either it is so bad. None of the rest of the cast can do anything but one does have to give special mention to the unimaginative "comedy monks" who are painfully unfunny (Pinette and Harris) and the effete bad guy who is useless as a central villain.Simon Sez is a terrible film. It is not even a "bad" film with a bit of fun or action about it because the cheap and nasty production standards and poor ideas conspire to leave anything of value on the screen at any point. Those picking on Rodman as if it is all his fault are missing the point – everyone is to blame here because nothing about it is good. Not the direction, the scoring, the stunts (terrible wire-work), the acting, the dialogue, the story – nothing. It is a terrible waste of space whose only memorable thing is just how insulting to the viewer it is.

Yes, I agree, really, really bad.Do not be fooled, action film fans; the acting, the writing, the direction - really, really bad. Confusing. Dull. Even funny if it weren't so down-right... dull.That same year, Rodman made another action film as second "lead" to Jean Claude Van Damme. Fortunately, despite Rodman, Van Damme did most of the work and Rodman didn't do much but rent his name to the producers. That film was occasionally watchable.But here, Rodman actually pretends to be a movie star. Why? I dunno - the haircut I guess.Why does Hollywood toss money away on this sort of crap? Well, people buy it, I guess.Fortunately, I didn't; it was getting tossed out at a video store a bock down from where I live."Gee, if you're tossing it away, can I have it?" "Why? - it's just really bad!" Yeah, well, I had to find that out myself.You don't; trust me - it's really bad.

Get this: Dennis Rodman is an Interpol agent (ha!) living in the cellar of a French monestary with two monk buddies (one fat, one black) who try to battle an evil diabolical villain who plans to use some kind of computer chip thingy to arm a weapon so he can blow up the world (or whatever it is mad movie villains like to do).This movie is SO LAME! I remember I was vacationing in Nags Head, North Carolina when Cinemax started airing ads for the film and presenting it as some kind of "great film." I thought it looked like total garbage but I watched it anyway, just to laugh at Dennis Rodman.Good god, it's bad. Is it EVER bad! It's got that distinct crazy directorial style all bad movies of today have - you know, everything's all crazy and over-the-top, ranging from coloring of sets and characters to plots to dialogue to action sequences.Some of this seems fairly reminiscent of that similarly awful Rodman movie named "Double Team," which co-starred Jean-Claude Van Damme (ha!) and Mickey Rourke (poor Mickey). But any movie with Rourke is at least tolerable...this is not tolerable in the least.Rodman gets my vote for being one of the worst actors of all time and this movie certainly fits his talents.