Simply Perfect

A Disappointing Continuation

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Uwe Boll's original video game adaptation of ALONE IN THE DARK was bad enough, but this sequel reaches new levels of low. Gone are Christian Slater and Tara Reid from the original film, jettisoned in favour of an entirely cheaper cast and an even more nonsensical storyline involving the hunt for a magical dagger and an evil witch.Bizarrely, the central character of Edward Carnby has changed race, now being played by the Chinese-American actor Rick Yune. Carnby's very soul is in peril thanks to a sinister infection that causes some dodgy-looking veins to stick out of his chest, so a crack team must infiltrate a haunted manor and lay to rest the spirit of an evil witch who's causing all kinds of trouble.This is a poorly-directed, poorly-written mess through and through, reliant on sub-par CGI and bad acting from beginning to end. All it can offer the viewer is a string of celebrity cameos from various personalities, so we get the likes of Bill Moseley, Jason Connery, former CONAN Ralf Moeller, and CARRIE's P.J. Soles. Even Danny Trejo shows up for just a single scene. Best of the lot is Lance Henriksen, who bags something of a meatier exposition-spouting role, but even he's on autopilot, and nothing about ALONE IN THE DARK 2 is good.

Okay so I tried to watch both films back to back, thinking I'd enjoy them given I've liked so far of what I have played of the first game. Now I disagree with most people on that I did enjoy the first film a lot, though it had cheesy moments like that scene with Seven Seconds Away playing over what was happening, so not the song to be playing during one of those moments let me tell you, overall I really enjoyed the first one.So, I was really excited about seeing the second one, and I have to say, what a heap of ****. I won't bother typing out my own review, all I will tell you is read the review by grandmastersik because mine is exactly like his, minus spending 15 minutes trying to use the force to get the remote, I just couldn't remember where I'd put mine down to be able to turn it off.

A group of highly armed investigators end up somewhere in park escaping into a restroom. One of them suffers from some condition that makes his veins pop out. They are being chased by some smoke that also materializes into a woman. We find out that she's a witch. Some dagger is of importance, a dagger that has a piece of the witch's heart in it. Some guy ends up witnessing the massacre of this group by the smoke.Later he's stumbling through New York as he suffers from the same vein-popping condition. He finds an expert in occult matters who perhaps can help him, named Edward. But the investigator ends up infected himself. Another group of investigators comes to their rescue and takes them to the country. This group involves the leader, played by Bill Moseley, his daughter played by the delicious Rachel Specter, Danny Trejo, and the giant Ralf Moeller. They are trying to capture the witch but are somewhat overwhelmed so they seek the help of someone who has faced the witch before, a retired expert in the occult played by Lance Henriksen, who reluctantly agrees to help.It all turns into a race to kill the with before Edward dies. We learn the witch is after the Rachel's character. In flashbacks we learn that a relative of hers confronted the witch before.There's a lot of story in this movie that gets somewhat confusing. The dagger is important, the piece of heart in it, the witches heart itself, the flashbacks of Rachel's relatives, and so on. One gets the impression that the story doesn't work out quite well. But we're dealing with witches, ghosts, and the supernatural, so perhaps it's pointless to expect realism and logic. The special effects are very good. The menacing smoke looks very neat. Rachel Specter is so gorgeous, she steals the show. She has a great body, not just skin and bones. And while her acting is iffy, Lance Henriksen's acting makes up for it, and then some. His acting is just superb. This movie has its moments and highlights but also its weaknesses.

So..there's a witch..something to do with a knife, and an old man sacrificing his family for some kind of immortality. I just made the plot sound 100 times better than the film does.Terrible, terrible CGI (everyone hates it, why is it even added to films) and the other "special" effects...glued on veins, I'll say no more.Even if you are looking for a laugh, don't watch this film, you will be too busy trying to work out why on earth this was made to be able to poke fun.I didn't see the first film, but Im not seeing that as a bad thing.