That was an excellent one.

Good concept, poorly executed.

As Good As It Gets

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Themes of obsession, grief, and death haunt the gloomily lit hallways of Peter Greenaway's clever, funny, tragic, and disturbing artistic masterpiece 'A Zed & Two Noughts'. To describe this film is to describe a work of genius, something I am not exactly prepared for. I can only glowingly praise this film and its queer quirks and impressive precision. Almost every shot is, in its own odd way, by turns beautiful, cryptic, and unsettling (even grotesque at times), and these visuals move perfectly to the rhythm of Michael Nyman's perfect score that only further adds to the artistically orgasmic mastery of this film's every moment. It can be argued that the film has elements of pretension, but I believe that it is too witty and brilliant a film to dismiss w/such overused language, and, although I do not recommend it to everybody, I am ready to make the claim that it is legitimately among the greatest art house films of all time. The bleak comedy and absurd tragedy of the grieving process has hardly ever been showcased w/such a display of stylistic perfection as it is in this film. The way the film moves and glows and darkens and laughs and cries and creeps awkwardly round, constantly disturbing and exciting the viewer, is pulled off by Greenaway in such a way that I beg of anyone interested to seek out this film almost immediately. It isn't always fun, but it is too worthwhile to ignore. It utilizes black comedy, surrealism, the avant garde, philosophy, and complete complexity in the most delightfully cinematic manner...it is a true masterpiece.

I am normally a very open-minded film connoisseur as I see film as potentially the greatest art form since the 'invention' of music. Films like Russian Ark, Au hasard Balthazar, anything by Bergman, Irreversible, Fitzcarrldo, Izo, The Mirror, Naked, Hana-Bi, Fallen Angels, What Time is it There?, Weekend, Tokyo Drifter, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, etc to name a few, are all films that can express & transcend the very medium of film to convey emotions, thoughts, moods, & ideas that cannot be expressed by any other means in art. Most importantly the works breathe in essence because behind every one of them is a director/artist that is creating the film. A real creator using the creative process to form something that is at heart, only a reel of film.Now, with all that said, I must say that cinematic projection (I will not grace the words film with it) was by & large the absolute WORST thing i've ever had the misfortune to see in my life thus far. Nothing about this in any way is constructive/deconstructive to any end since it's so busying wanking off in order to make itself as worthless as possible. In all serious regards, i've never seen anything in my life that was as absolutely pretentious & just plain worthless as this. Nothing. This was so far abstracted that anything it bothered to try & 'say' is completely laughable. Nothing i've ever seen comes close to perfectly surmising the word pretentious as this.Nothing in element of shot composition (haha), dialog, music, etc can rise this above being the most vacant excuse for pretentious ejaculation on screen. To compare, I for one enjoy Matthew Barney's Crewmaster works which many find completely pretentious/inaccessible. As inaccessible as Barney seems, one can see an artist creating something. Even with all his Vaseline melting, hardcore band dueling, naked women swimming, at heart is a creator who while oblique, creates something that can in the very least creating with regard. Here all we have is pure wankery that attempts simultaneously to pretend to say something, while meaning absolutely nothing at the same time. Anything, any 'scene' from this garbage is just completely utterly worthless; watching paint dry would be a more worthy use of 110 minutes since paint doesn't babble at you and at least lends itself to altering the reason why you are watching it in the first place.In all seriously, use your 110 minutes elsewhere & thus benefit/impact your life in some way other than by simply wasting minutes and minutes of your life by watching this.Absolute pretentious excrement.

This fine film is written in an intelligent, multilayered way of such a degree and quality as I have only seen in top-notch theatre. Greenaway delivers a dark but intoxicating tale of decay, evolution and the crucial importance of symmetry.The themes of this film emerge not only through Greenaway's script, but also through the images produced by his tight, clear directing. The choice of images and ability to linger on single shots suggests a creative mind as focused and obsessed as the characters he portrays. As with many of Greenaway's works, this certainly isn't a film for anyone wanting a cheap thrill and easy satisfaction. Its particularly dark humour and images of accelerated decay and death are more likely to please those who prefer to view film as a medium of art than those seeking mere entertainment.It is a very long time since a film has impressed me quite as much as this.

I saw A ZED AND TWO NOUGHTS in the spring of 1987 . I read in the tv guide that this film " Contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing " . Great I thought , this mean`s that it`s gonna be a gritty hard hitting film just like SCUM or APOCALYPSE NOW or all these other films that contain the warning " Contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing " . So I sat down to watch it and was disgusted by what I saw . What a load of pretentious anally retentive crap ! Who the hell wants to watch vegetable matter and dead animals decompose ? Come on put your hands up . People who admit to liking this film are just kidding themselves on , they`re showing off big time by pretending to be intellectuals . Obviously working class scum like myself and most other people who watch movies are too thick to recognise ZOO as being a wonderful piece of art . And you know what ? I`m glad about that . It`s not often I give a film a 1 on the IMDB but that`s what I`m giving ZOO . On an entertainment level it deserves 0 . Or should that be a NOUGHT ?