Undescribable Perfection

Purely Joyful Movie!

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

Sometimes you wonder why a production team doesn't cut a movie when they're making it, having the obvious realisation that what they're making is dreadful, surely it's more financially damaging to complete and release a diabolical mess like this, then it would have been to say stop. The premise seems good, two of the writers from Scary movie take the spoof them to a bigger scale, but do it so badly. It's unfunny, it could be deemed offensive, there is virtually nothing positive I can say about it, the acting is unforgivable in this day and age, it smacks of 1980's b movie all the way through, I realise they were up against it with the script, but come on. Do something more useful, like clean the bathroom, 1/10.

Epic Movie (2007) is total crap, no beating around the bush here, it was so bad it actually angered me that i paid to view this turkey and i wanted a refund, i felt cheated, the only reason i didn't cause a fuss at the cinema was the fact that something very funny happened...... a singing chant started in the audience (of about 12 people), and it went something like this, why are we watching, why are we watching, why are we watching this piece of CRAP!!!! I didn't have a clue what was going on, the 'script' was idiotic, the actors were totally lame and annoying and the jokes were pathetic and UNFUNNY, how this ever made it to the silver screen i'll never know.I advise anyone who's thinking of going to see this piece of JUNK, to stay well clear and save their money, thank you and GOODNIGHT! 0/10

I strongly disagree with the rating this movie got. Get Hard (2015) should have a 2.3. Ark (2005) should have a 1.0, But this... it was nice. I think it had some good humor attached to it (the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 reference, for instance actually does make sense, and made for good laughs in my opinion). Among other things, it had a plot and didn't needlessly generate discordance (hey, since we're speaking of spoilers, I'll put in a spoiler for people - Will Farrell's Get Hard. period).Point being, it's a lampoon of movies which came out at the time. And overall, it handled those lampoons quite well, and where it succeeded was making me feel relaxed and not perturbed (Will Farrell's Get Hard, people). So, jokes apart, watch it. It is epic in its own silly way, and it doesn't shirk away from what it intended to do - it's a lampoon, and that was how it was intended to be.

Epic Movie (2007): Dir: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer / Cast: Kal Penn, Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard, Crispin Glover, Tony Cox: Satire making fun of massive productions in big films. Four orphans travel to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory only to escape through a closet into the land of Gnarnia ruled by the evil White Bitch. Starts with promise before showcasing cheap production values and overplayed jokes about urination, vomiting and bestiality. Directed half heartedly by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who prove that two people can make just as bad a film as a solo individual. Kal Penn seems stranded among the victims as he searches for answers. Jennifer Coolidge is typecast as the White Bitch whose ambition is to rule Gnarnia. Fred Willard plays a sex addicted man lion whose transformation from human to lion ranks among the worst display of special effects. Crispin Glover appears as Willy Wonka in full Michael Jackson mode. Glover is funny for the brief time he is present but perhaps more footage would have hit home. Tony Cox is also featured as the dwarf henchman for Coolidge but he presence is becoming tiring in these film and too much of a self parody. Making fun of epic movies, particularly The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it becomes one big embarrassing epic for one's patience. Score: 3 / 10