Best movie of this year hands down!

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Good movie but grossly overrated

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

"Ticker" is a hilarious comedy...isn't this supposed to be an action movie? For an action movie, it is curiously light on action.San Francisco Detective Ray Nettles (Sizemore) is a cop on the edge, with a new partner named Fuzzy (Nas). They are dispatched to a crime scene where Irish mad bomber Alex Swan (Hopper) and his gang are hiding. Nettles punches then arrests one member of the gang, Claire (Pressly). Swan becomes enraged and a shoot-out follows, with Fuzzy getting shot and dying in Nettles' arms.Swan escapes and is now terrorizing the city with bomb threats. After Nettles' always-angry Captain Spano (Joe Spano in the role he was born to play) yells at him, Nettles is partnered with the bomb squad. The leader of the squad is the Zen-spoutin' Glass (Seagal). Now it is a race against time as Glass and Nettles scurry around town to try to defuse all the bombs set by Swan.There are so many uproarious moments in "Ticker". Here are just a few that stand out: 1. All the explosions from the bombs are culled from stock footage, and in one particularly funny sequence it jaggedly cuts to Sizemore's face. He then does a bugged-out look in "surprise" at what he is "seeing".2. In one scene, there is a bomb-sniffing dog and the cop asks the dog: "Hey boy, do you smell nuggets?" Insert Seagal fat joke here...3. Speaking of which: Seagal shot this movie both during AND after "Exit Wounds" (2001) and during that time his weight fluctuated wildly. So when the final film of "Ticker" was cut together, his weight noticeably changes from scene to scene. Even the many (too many) close-ups of Seagal's face can't disguise the feature-length continuity error that is his constantly changing girth.4. We're all familiar with Seagal's laziness in doing his own ADR work. He gets someone else to say his own lines. This person sounds NOTHING like him. "Ticker" is rife with this. We expect that with Seagal, but with Sizemore? A man who doesn't match Sizemore's gruff voice at all did a few of his lines. Maybe the well-known "Seagal Laziness" was contagious on the set.5. There is a supposedly "cool" shot where Seagal is walking down a hallway in slow motion. It goes on for a good three minutes and it is not cool at all. It is there to obviously pad out the running time and give Pyun a chance to pretend he is Tarantino for a day. Seagal's gait provokes prolonged laughter instead.6. Watch out for Seagal's "Hitchcock-style" (in more ways than one...) cameo as a bearded jazz guitar player in a club. Nettles and Glass walk into the club and thus Seagal watches himself on stage for a split second. How meta. Not just Van Damme can play a double role.The rest of the cast is slumming beyond belief, especially Hopper. All of his scenes are shot in close-up and he speaks in an inconsistent Irish accent. Ice-T is in this mess for two seconds as a terrorist.All in all, "Ticker" is a "blast" to watch with friends.Quoth Seagal in the last line of the movie: "Love is eternal and that is a long time." Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Tom Sizemore is the tormented cop with something to prove. Steven Seagal is the "Zen Master" (yet again) of the bomb squad. Dennis Hopper is the mad bomber who looks like he dropped straight in from filming "Speed". Jaime Pressly is the eye candy. This movie has many illogical and ridiculous gaffes that, if you bother to take 2 seconds to think about, will leave you stunned and wondering "What the *..*?" There is no rhyme or reason to this non sequitur. However, with a beer or two, a light-hearted attitude, and a few irreverent buddies to yuk it up, you could actually enjoy laughing at. I know I laughed at this movie from beginning to end, even without the beer. But trust me, you'll want the beer.

Yes, This comment may contain spoilers, but believe me.. It wouldn't matter at all !!It's not great for sure, although it's not that bad either. But when it comes to a movie with bombs maniac in it, I just prefer an Egyptian one named (Batal min warak - 1988) or (Hero Made of Paper); it was super thriller comedy, even by the American cinema measures (you can find it on the IMDb database). And as for (Ticker), I just want to talk about a bit of what provoked me. For instance, Jaime Pressly. She is one hot chick, no doubt about that. But in (Ticker).. it's painful experiment if you forced yourself to watch her till the end (yes, I did that to myself !!). There is no acting, hot moments, or anything exciting at all (except one witty surprise in the end). Dennis Hopper plays a very weak character, because simply there is no good motive with any meaning to justify all of this bombing here and there, only this funny desire to be Michelangelo of the exploding art ?!?!And above all.. The real thing to irritate, aggravate, annoy, and boil you.. The cool presence.. The very cooooool presence of the one and only : Mr. Steven Seagal.. The greatest of the worst action heroes ever !It was so boring here to wait that long to watch him in a fight (and it was just ONE fight !). However this time I was so lucky, because I've waited longer than that while watching his other movie (The Patriot - 1998) to have nothing at all eventually !! And believe me, in Ticker, you'll have your own share of laughs, especially in the climactic sequence, when the bomb is about detonation, and there is just minutes before the big BOOOM, and Seagal is giving a long philosophical lesson to Tom Sizemore, talking in his real ridiculous calm way about forgetting all of the fear and all of the hope too, plus whatever attaches you to death or life, and how that will make you so confident and successful and happy !!.. Because love is forever baby !!I think that was the very words of Steven Seagal himself as a Buddhist. I can see clearly how it's connected to whatever he believes in and performs too. Of course there is nothing wrong with Buddha and his wisdom, but there are many wrong things with Seagal and his career !In (Ticker) you can simply replace him and put for example (Peter Weller), he would be funnier. Or you can bring (Christopher Lambert) or (Armand Assante) instead, but I think as bombs expert, they would be that cheerful, or that mad, to blow it all up !! Hmmm.. maybe bringing (Tom Sizemore) himself would be good idea as his own twin brother, OH YEAH that would've made it more worth watching ! And let him be the one who killed his brother's family; WAW.. I think any of my nonsense is better than the "love never die" end !At last, I think that Steven Seagal as a star (or in the way of being an ex–star) released from his "fear" of losing, and his "hope" to be a true action star as (Jackie Chan) or (Sylvester Stallone). So he would do such movies like this over and over again. But I just ask myself not how could he be that bad every time without getting any better ? No.. I ask myself : If that's the case.. Who on earth would watch him again ?!

No words can describe the pain I went through watching only part of this film!!! I love Steven but this really takes the mick!! How is Dennis Hopper in it? How has his acting skills left in such a hurry? Did the director have eyes? Ears? Any of our valuable five senses? This film is a very weak attempt at a thriller, with no tension or character development we are left to wonder who are these people? There is a fight scene at some point and its awful! Badly lit so you can't really see, one by one anonymous "bad guys" approach Steven and (ofcourse) he takes them all out. I don't know how or why a film of this depressing quality was ever put out, it makes me want to cry.