The Age of Commercialism

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

Blistering performances.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

A huge creature that's part snake, part fish is terrorizing the cast and crew of a B-movie, I'm guessing because it's mad that Professor Lovegrove (Michael Madsen, Sin City, Kill Bill) had stolen it's eggs (Piranhacondas don't know how to compartmentalize it seems) That's the threadbare plot for this SyFy original in a nutshell. Sure there's another plot about kidnappers but that one meanders and isn't that interesting. It's all about the snake.Slightly above average (for a SyFy film). The effects are fairly well done and there is some fun to be had. Plus I'm still a huge admirer of Director Jim Wynorski even if it's more for his amazing work in the '80's as opposed to his more recent output.

Of course this is not a good movie! But what else did you expect from a movie called "Piranhaconda", about an half snake, half piranha, that loves to crush and eat people. At least everyone in this movie knew what they got involved with and never took things too seriously. This is often a good thing and it at least still keeps the movie somewhat fun and tolerable to watch.Basically all of these movies play out the same; a killer animal is on the loose and randomly kills a bunch of people you don't even care about, with always a guy and girl, who used to be or still are in love, trying to kill the creature. Really, once you have seen one of these Roger Corman/Syfy channel movies, you have seen them all and know actually how things are going to play out. They don't even attempt anymore really to come up with some original moments. And it also seems that all of these movies got shot at the same locations, no doubt because they were the cheapest to film at. It basically makes this movie just like any other one, that came out recently, done by Corman.People that enjoy movies will still get a kick out of it. There is plenty of cheese and camp to enjoy, coming from the hands of the actors and filmmakers. It isn't trying to be more than it is and it makes no assumptions about it that this is being even a remotely good movie. The one thing that always stands out about these movies, in terms of horrible quality, are its special effects. I don't know who keeps doing these special effects from his mother's basement on his home computer but it's absolutely horrible and I sincerely hope they start putting some more money and effort into it in the near future, since it will most likely make the movies less annoying and cringing to watch.And I really don't know what Michael Madsen is doing in this. He got top billing, probably because of his name and fame but in fact he is only being a supporting character, that could had been played by anybody really.Only somewhat watchable and enjoyable if you like cheesy bad movies. Everybody else will only be annoyed and amazed at how bad this movie in fact is.4/10http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

"Piranhaconda", well the name of the movie is a clear enough indication of what kind of movie and type of entertainment you are in for here; low-budget monster movie with a cheesy story, and probably even more cheesy monster. Well, as this is a SyFy Channel movie, then yes and yes.The movie starts out wonderfully with a themesong about the piranhacondas. Yes, a song about these wonderful reptilian creatures. It was as epic as the song they had in "Super Shark".The story takes place in Hawaii, where an apparent freak of nature aberration between a piranha and an anaconda have taken place. How such an unholy union came about to be, we are not given any inside information or facts about. So we can only speculate. The most logical option would be genetic manipulation, but who knows? But these two, yeah not just one, but two, piranhacondas are of gargantuan size, and how they came to grow so big and sustain their diets puzzles me. So the Hawaiian people wouldn't notice a dramatic delve in population, livestock, or whatever it is that these creatures feast upon to grow so big? Again, something not to dwell on.A group of amateur film makers are out in the Hawaii jungle to shoot a horror movie when they run across this aberration of nature. But they are not just up against these gargantuan snakes, they are also fighting a band of kidnappers. To spice up the story, throw a university scholar into the midst, who wants to study the piranhaconda and bring an egg back to the civilized world. Good plan, eh? Now, the people cast for "Piranhaconda" were actually doing good enough jobs with their roles, and it does seem that people were enjoying making this movie, so that was cool. The dialogue, however, was halting and forced at times, but in a movie of this caliber, that is to be expected and can be forgiven.The piranhacondas themselves, well, they looked adequate and life-like most of the times, which worked in favor of the movie. There were some scenes, though, where these creatures came off as rather fake. No surprise there.Another thing that was working well in favor for "Piranhaconda" was the number of casualties throughout the movie. There was a fairly high death-toll in the movie, which was nice. But it gets better, and this part of the movie I loved, whenever the piranhacondas would kill someone, they lunged at the prey (the humans) and the people would vanish in a spray of blood red misty haze. They simply just vanished in a red misty burst. That cracked me up. There were a couple of scenes where you got to see some mutilation, in the form of severed limbs. So it wasn't all bad (if you like gore).Normally snakes propel themselves forward by slithering, right? Well yeah, as did the piranhacondas, except for one time, where it was chasing after an SUV. Take a look at the creature there, it just darts forward like a straight arrow, all rank and linear. That was so funny. Never seen a snake do that before.The kidnappers in "Piranhaconda" apparently all attended the "College For Goons Shooting Badly". They were shooting at the protagonists, and fired several dozens, if not hundreds of bullets, and not a single bullet struck or penetrated the vehicle. That was pretty good shooting right there, especially as it was a fairly short distance.Another of these goofs, were as they headed to the dock to sail away in a small boat, the professor (played by Michael Madsen) had the jar with the piranhaconda eggs in it. Prior throughout all the movie, the eggs was submerged in some kind of fluorescent green slime, but at the docks, there was no slime in the jar. Then a little later on as they had left the docks, the jar was out again, only this time the green slime was back.Another lovely goof was when the stuntman (one of the protagonists, played by Rib Hillis) was out in the jungle, he just happened to come across a blue quad-bike that conveniently had been left unattended and ready to drive in the middle of the Hawaiian jungle. That never happens where I live.Despite these flaws and cheesy things, then "Piranhaconda" was actually fun entertainment. You know exactly what you are in for with these kind of SyFy monster movies. They are like traffic accidents, you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help it. The story was campy and cheesy, which makes it fun to watch, and the creatures were so over the top that it just becomes plain fun.The ending of the movie was really great actually, so hooray for SyFy for that one! Didn't see that coming actually, so it was a nice surprise.When you're in Hawaii look behind you, 'coz that's where the piranhaconda's gonna be...

Piranhaconda (2012) ** (out of 4) Creature feature fun from director Jim Wynorski takes place in Hawaii as a professor (Michael Madsen) tracks down an egg that belongs to a legendary part piranha, part anaconda creature. Soon its parents are killing anyone who gets in their way and that includes a low-budget film crew there filming a slasher pic. PIRANHACONDA is actually a step above most of the creature features that appear on SyFy and a big credit has to go to Wynorski. I've always enjoyed his film and this one here is a decent little affair that should at least keep fans of monster movies entertained. Again, this isn't Shakespeare but for the most part it delivers the goods. The CGI snake/fish creature is certainly something to see. Yes, it's looks incredibly fake but this here actually adds a little charm to the picture. The majority of the death scenes have cheap CGI blood flowing but this too had its own level of charm. A few weeks ago I watched POPATOPOLIS, a documentary on Wynorski as he attempted to make a film in three days. It was a very good documentary because we got to see him directing and just listening to him talk to his actors in a manner that some might not like. There's a director in this film that acts the same way and you can't help it was spoofing Wynorski and it's actually pretty funny. However, having seen that documentary, I do wonder if the same techniques works with Madsen. As for Madsen, he's clearly just picking up a paycheck here and he appears bored throughout the picture. The supporting cast features some pretty good performances including Teri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Rachel Hunter and Rib Hillis all turning in fine work. If you're looking for high art then you're obviously in the wrong place but PIRANHACONDA at least features some good moments, although it does start to wear thin towards the end.