As Good As It Gets

A Major Disappointment

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

THE FIRST GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY at first seems to be an odd choice for director Michael Crichton, who adopts his own novel of the same title. Crichton is best known for dealing with cutting edge technology in his fare, whereas this is a Victorian-era heist. I suppose the technology comes from the plotting and planning of cracking an unbreakable safe on a moving train, so the film is still grounded in realism as with the rest of the great man's work.As for the story itself, it's surprisingly light and a bit too overloaded with comedy. The first half features very little of note apart from some silly innuendo scenes which are more blatant than the ones in the '70s-era CARRY ON films, and that's saying something! Sean Connery grounds things with his likable lead persona, while Donald Sutherland is simply bizarre as the English safebreaker.Things do pick up later on, and the heist itself, which takes place at the climax, is thoroughly enjoyable. The film boasts from solid production values overall and a fine supporting cast studded with familiar faces including Lesley-Anne Down, Pamela Salem, Michael Elphick, Peter Butterworth, Janine Duvitski, and James Cossins.

In 1854 England, Edward Pierce (Sean Connery) plans a daring theft of a shipment of gold being transported monthly from London to Folkestone to finance the Crimean War. He recruits pickpocket Robert Agar (Donald Sutherland), his actress girlfriend Miriam (Lesley-Anne Down), and various other co-conspirators. The safe has 4 keys which must be copied. Then the gold must be stolen from a moving train.Michael Crichton wrote the novel based loosely on the real events. He then wrote the screenplay and directed the movie. This is strictly his show, and the weakest part is his direction. The jokes are on the page but rarely translated to laughs on the screen. The pacing is ponderous. Crichton just doesn't have the directing gene. The action is right there with Sean Connery crawling on top of the train. There are some great stunts going on. Clean Willy climbing the walls is very compelling. But the tension isn't in any of these scenes. Crichton doesn't know how to film action. This movie desperately needs a better director.

Before they can rob a safe on a train, thieves must obtain four independent keys kept by three people. The schemes devised to obtain the keys are laughably simplistic, with the plan to steal the final two keys (inexplicably kept in one place) ridiculously drawn out. Attempts at humor fall flat, and the film lacks the dramatic tension necessary for a good heist movie. Crichton not only adapts his own novel, but also directs. Based on the lame evidence presented here, he's not a competent writer or director. Connery and Sutherland are not called upon to flex their acting muscles while Down doesn't appear to have any such muscles. At least the sets and costumes are nice.

The First Great Train Robbery is directed by Michael Crichton who also writes the screenplay. It stars Sean Connery, Donald Sutherland, Lesley-Anne Down, Wayne Sleep, Robert Lang, Alan Webb and Andre Morell. Music is scored by Jerry Goldsmith and cinematography by Geoffrey Unsworth. The story is loosely based on the real Great Gold Robbery of 1855, where a rogue criminal named William Pierce and his cohorts executed the theft of £12,000 in gold from a speeding train on route to aid the British Army during the Crimean War.A delightful period caper picture that's high on production value and fun characterisations. Split into two halves, Crichton's movie makes light of the actual crime to portray Connery and co as lovable rogues, thus hooking the viewer in to actually root for them to pull off the intricate crime. First half (well it's more two thirds of the film to be exact) details how the robbers obtained the four keys needed to get into the safe. Harder than it sounds since they are in different locations to one and other and guarded over by different officials. Naturally there are scrapes, skirmishes and obstacles to overcome during this complex operation, and no short amount of humour and tension either. Then it's on to the actual crime, which buzzes ferociously with derring do and ingenious cheek! It may have been loaded with chitter chatter and much bluffing of the way leading up to it, but the pay off is excellent and not without genuine excitement as Connery's (doing his own stunt work) Pierce and Sutherland's safe cracking Agar pull off the seemingly impossible. Benefiting the film greatly is Crichton's attention to detail, where he thrives on the Victorian England setting. From the streets, the costumes, the dialogue and mannerisms of the characters, they all fit nicely within the narrative. Helps, too, that the cast are playing it with tongue in cheek, Connery and Sutherland are revelling in playing roguish dandies, splendidly attired facially with quality face fuzz and Down raises the temperature of Connery and male audience members alike. Probably her best ever performance, Crichton writes a good role for Down that sees her not only as a sexy head turner (it's unlikely that Victorian underwear has ever looked this sexy before in film), but also as an observant member of the gang; one who isn't too shabby on the disguise front either. Dancer Wayne Sleep is nicely cast as a fleet footed housebreaker, while Lang, Webb, Morell and Michael Elphick pitch their respective performances just right. Goldsmith's score is energetic and Unsworth's (his last film as he sadly passed away shortly after shooting it) photography is a lesson in quality without trickery.Fanciful and tame if compared to the big budgeted actioners of today, The First Great Train Robbery none the less is testament that simplicity of plot and a keenness to entertain is sometimes all you need. 8/10