The Worst Film Ever

The Age of Commercialism

I wanted to but couldn't!

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

The narrator recounts the history of methamphetamine or speed starting with the Japanese and WWII. He's posing as tweaker Danny Parker (Val Kilmer) working with Jimmy the Finn (Peter Sarsgaard) to get high. He's an informant for corrupt cops Gus Morgan (Doug Hutchison) and Al Garcetti (Anthony LaPaglia). He lives in a rundown apartment next to an abused neighbor Colette Vaughn (Deborah Kara Unger) in hiding. In his earlier life, he was trumpet player Tom Van Allen with loving wife Liz (Chandra West). He tries to set up a large buy from drug dealer Pooh Bear (Vincent D'Onofrio) and the cops want in.Director D. J. Caruso is trying very hard to make a meth movie with style. The wackiness is weirdly interesting. I don't mind it at all but it's a bit too precious with the reveal. It's a lot of crazy characters and it would be helpful to connect better with Val Kilmer. He's obviously hiding something. That keeps a barrier between him and the audience. The disjointed feel of the movie keeps the tension a bit too low.

The test of the time is probably the best test that a movie can pass or fail. I have seen The Salton Sea two weeks ago, and did not have time to write immediately about it. Two weeks later I have a hard time remembering what the film was about. Fragments of good film making are left in my memory but they seem to be buried in a story which tries to make sense of some very improbable coincidences which end by making no sense, without the courage of being nonsense to the end, as in a Tarantino film. The Salton Sea tells the violent story of the life of a trumpet player turned into nightmare as his wife is murdered by drug dealers and trying to take revenge by enrolling as an undercover agent. His fake identity places him in the situation to meet the evil and their victims, and in order to take the revenge to the ultimate satisfaction he is obliged to go rogue and take all upon himself. No prisoners are taken and there hardly can be survivors from this situation.The world described in the film is the one of Tarantino's characters but director D.J. Caruso is no Tarantino and the story lacks exactly the sarcastic craziness of Quentin. Val Klimer does a fair job, but fair is not enough. I remember too little of this film two weeks after I have seen it, and I will probably remember nothing two weeks from now.

The Salton Sea is directed by D. J. Caruso and written by Tony Gayton. It stars Val Kilmer, Vincent D'Onofrio, Peter Sarsgard, Doug Hutchinson, Anthony LaPaglia, Debora Kara Unger, Adam Goldberg and Luis Guzmán. Music is scored by Thomas Newman and cinematography by Amir Mokri.Danny Parker (Kilmer) is hanging out with a bunch of methamphetamine users, apparently in an effort to numb the pain of his one time life that saw his wife murdered. Or is he? The word of mouth for it was strong, but no sooner did it hit cinemas than it disappeared off the face of the earth. However, the cult cinema world is often a vibrant place to lurk, enter there and you find The Salton Sea, a wonderfully tricksy and off beat neo-noir awash with misery, revenge, redemption and odd ball characters that are either stuck in purgatory, or heading to nowhereville.Protagonist Danny Parker leads the film, a man whose identity is fractured after being dealt a blow from the hands of fate, very much in limbo mentally, he none the less has goals to achieve, nothing is never quite as it seems until director Caruso wants us in on the side-shifts. Danny is often in the company of danger and weird characters, from a hopped up harpoon wielding loon, to a no nose psycho (too much meth up the nose will make you lose it kids), via dirty cops and meth heads, it's a world of unease, the twisty plot drawing the viewer in with a kinky smile on its face.Caruso also pulls off the neat trick of placing humour in this off kilter world without hurting the dramatic harshness of the thematics. There's a quite brilliant sequence that shows a botched crime being attempted by the meth head crew, this we watch at the same time as they discuss about actually pulling the crime off. That it involves a stool sample from Bob Hope should tell you all you need to know about the intelligence of the wannabe perps! Caruso's camera is fluid and he uses certain neo-noir visual tricks of the trade as well (time lapses etc), and he also has a knack for varying the mood without avertying the slowly bubbling to the surface pace that the story requires.Kilmer is superb, perfectly low-key, there is no need for rage, the yearning for revenge and redemption, for identity, is brought out via calmly delivered dialect, and it's very affecting. D'Onofrio as Pooh Bear, the afore mentioned no nose fella, steals the movie with another of his off the planet nut-jobs. Elsewhere, Sarsgard is as appealing as he has ever been as Danny's stoner best mate, Hutchinson and LaPaglia cut fine figures as dirty cops, while Guzmán and Danny Trejo leave an impressively grungy mark. The only disappointment is the lack of screen time for Kara Unger, a fine actress, she is playing what turns out to be a critical femme fatale role, but really we needed more of her. It's a rare misstep in an otherwise cracking neo-noir that is highly recommended to fans of similarly devilishly fun pictures. 8.5/10

I am not a pro reviewer nor did I ever hear of this film until 3 days ago when it was on Showtime. I was enthralled in this film. Constant surprises, and the story that evolved around it. The actors and actresses all were so enthralled in their parts. The vivid scenery and usage of all else involved truly made me enjoy this film. I would like to just say that I am not a great writer as shown here. nut i wanted to tell anyone that is thinking about watching this movie to watch it. finally when I noticed the film had a budget of 18 mil and grossed 754k I was stunned. Who didn't understand how to promote an excellent movie? I never heard of it until the other day. It's funny how someone can make an excellent movie as shown by the reviews here and completely mess up the marketing. Watch this movie. It will not disappoint.