The Worst Film Ever

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This film is an embarrassment.To see some cast members like Christopher Lloyd reduced to this is sad. The concept is dumb and badly executed with unfunny, silly and dull script.The performances and the talking babies themselves are bad and overall this is worthy of its very low rating.Not genius, completely stupid.

Baby Geniuses (1999): Dir: Bob Clark / Cast: Kathleen Turner, Peter MacNicol, Kim Cattral, Christopher Lloyd, Dom DeLuise: Genetic tests are run on babies after being taken from their parents. It generates no form of genius as little Sylvester responding like a Ninja Turtle in response to his arrest. He has a twin that is switched with him and the villains nab an innocent child. Sylvester is homed with a couple whose idea of fun is diaper rodeo. Director Bob Clark previously made A Christmas Story. Now he makes a very stupid story complete with pathetic art direction. In fact the budget in this film make his Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things look like art in comparison. Of course, this is not suppose to be taken seriously but it counts as a strike against it when none of the characters are even remotely likable. Kathleen Turner is way too talented to be playing the tyrant running the institution. It is disappointing to witness a highly respected actress brought down by such nonsense. Peter MacNicol and Kim Cattral play the less than swift parents. Christopher Lloyd who has starred in top rate entertainment, is wasted as Turner's assistant. Dom DeLuise manages to appear in perhaps his worst film since The Cannonball Run 2. The result is a pointless mess that should be concealed in a soiled diaper and placed in a trash bin. Maybe light it on fire for good measure. Score: 0 / 10

I don't know how movies could possibly be so bad. I think this is probably in my top ten of the worst movies ever. The jokes are lame, the acting is terrible, and the lip syncing is horrendous. I think they did a better job making the animals talk in the live action Jungle Book. There should've at least been some clever lines of humor to make up for the other crappy things in it, but that was nonexistent. It is so bad it makes one want to die while watching it. Christopher Lloyd is also pretty awful in it, and he's usually a pretty good actor. The director was obviously not caring about quality at all when he made this movie. He figured the kids who watched it would be as dumb as the script. But that isn't true, because ever since I was young I found this to be horrendous. This movie should be much farther than 80 on the Bottom 100. I'd say more like five.

If you can imagine sitting next to a machine that makes keys for 92 minutes then you pretty much get the idea of the experience of 'Baby Geniuses'. I've seen bad comedies with cringe-worthy scenes but only a handful of them have a cringe at every single moment. But this stomach turning dreck reaches an all time low.The plot: Kathleen Turner plays an evil woman who runs a secret science lab to experiment on babies because she thinks that she may know how they communicate with one another. She wants to find out what universal knowledge babies possess before they gain their understanding of their surrounding. What does she hope to gain? Beats me.One of her nephews named Sly (his brother is named Wit) escapes from her lab by spitting water at his captors, punching them in the crotch and throwing them over his shoulder. This scene is as painful as they come.The movie basically rips-off two good movies: 'Look Who's Talking' in which we heard what the babies where saying, and 'Babe' in which the mouths of the farm animals moved when they spoke. The first worked because we never saw the babies talking and they were allowed to still be babies. The second worked because even when the mouths of the animals moved what they said was witty and smart.The infants in 'Baby Geniuses' talk in annoying pop culture buzz-words 'Yo-yo-yo' and 'Don't have a cow' and 'Diaper gravy'. When they speak bad digital effects make their mouths move to synch with the words. You know those cutouts of President Clinton that they use on Conan O'Brien where we see a picture of the President's face but his mouth is someone else's? It's kind of like that.I am not exactly certain at what point 'Baby Geniuses' made me question my faith in mankind but if I had to choose I would say it has to be the point at which a group of infants hypnotize Dom Deluise and force him to pick his nose. Even though this is the worst scene in the movie don't think that the rest of the movie gets elevated from there. At one point a baby disguises himself as an adult in an oversized hat and coat complete with cigar. Another scene allows him to whomp one adult in the crotch with ski not once but three times.When the babies move the special effects move their limbs to do unnatural things. The worst has to be one baby who dresses in a leisure suit so that he can dance like Travolta in 'Saturday Night Fever'. I witness this moment upon my return from a visit to the toilet (I saw it on television) and immediately felt the urge to turn around to go back.The movie is from Bob Clark a director who is hit and miss. He directed the wonderful 'A Christmas Story' but his also directed the dismal 'Porky's'. He directed the wonderfully hammy 'Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things' but he also made 'Rhinestone'. I have seen bad movies come and go but Clark seems to be striving to make 'Baby Geniuses' into a new all-time low. Mission accomplished Mr. Clark.