Touches You

An Exercise In Nonsense

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Watching it is like watching the spectacle of a class clown at their best: you laugh at their jokes, instigate their defiance, and "ooooh" when they get in trouble.

This movie is a very simple action movie, full of clichés popping out of the screen every minute or so. Even for the unambitious pretension of "action movie", it stills falls short of what you could expect to be a good one. Surely it has some qualities, but they are greatly overshadowed by the weak plot, directing, etc. If you are a fan of dystopian stories, you may enjoy watching it for its background story, but the main one is simply... bad. I, particularly, enjoyed the movie mainly because it's so bad I kept laughing at it. If you aren't so lighthearted, and doesn't have a particular taste for dystopia, you should steer clear of this movie.

James Thurber, the American author and cartoonist, said once : "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." It seems that the makers of this movie believed in this aphorism BADLY ! God, give me the strength to review the disaster, sorry.. the movie: Why Sister Rebeka (Michelle Yeoh) wanted Aurora (Mélanie Thierry) to travel to America? Why Aurora is a target for many teams? Who are those teams in the first place? How that smiling unnamed doctor is left so free to examine Aurora anytime anywhere?! How Aurora is pregnant? How come that a girl born by computer (?) has the ability of getting pregnant single-handedly, with no physical attachment?! Why that religious trend's leadership wants a miracle while their trend already seems as the religion in its time and place? Why the old monastery was destroyed? Why Toorop (Vin Diesel) had to be killed? How he came back to life? Would resurrecting the dead be a fashion in the future? (or was he still dead ?!) How that mighty religious power, which looks like organized mafia, couldn't find its boss's hiding husband for 20 years? Then, they *suddenly* found him, so how was that done? Why Aurora has to die? And why no doctor would resurrect her (a la mode !)? How come she gave birth to one white and one black twin? What freaking storm Diesel was talking about at the end?? And finally did anybody, else me, espy Gérard Depardieu in this? I hope not ! So when you read, under one of the movie's authentic posters, "Sister Rebeka, Aurora, and Toorop battle impossible odds in their epic journey that could change the world.", you have to wonder : What battle? What odds?, and "could change the world" from what to what exactly?! Nevertheless, ladies and gentlemen, it's not how they got the guts to write that? It's rather how to release the whole movie the way IT IS?!We're in a very provocative point where you don't know really who's to blame; the script for doing a completely stoned job? The director for not noticing the giant holes? or the producers for playing with a movie in the editing room? Some say 70 minutes were cut, the director says it's 10 minutes, though how come that any 10 minutes could answer or connect all of this mash ! There was an obvious attempt to make a dark futuristic world, with action and sad sense. It has things to say about how science would turn into new religion, with new Virgin Mary and miraculous Christ. And how – in the same time – that new religion could easily fall in the wrong hands. The kids of the future would be super yet tortured, orphan and unsecured. They would understand everything unless their fact or reason of being. They wouldn't find love, merely exploitation and death. It could have been good try to mix Virgin Mary and the Christ in one character to read all of that gloomy future, however according to its loyally scattered nature, and to provide the real sadness, this movie has only shadows and echoes of great thoughts ! What it relatively pulls off is capturing a certain image for the healthy rich and developed cosmopolitan city vs. the sick poor and underdeveloped rest of the world. But overall, while Babylon A.D., as a title refers to the civilization of unfair tomorrow, mirrors the movie's ambition, the movie itself mirrors the inability to carry it out perfectly. I bet many viewers couldn't understand the title's ironic purpose, and it's not their fault !The action didn't score high. Aside from being usual, it's hashed into mostly incomprehensible movie. The cast is perfect; Mélanie Thierry is exceptional as a beauty or talent, Vin Diesel is so fit on all the levels to his role; I can't forget his performance at the Aurora's scene on the snow, and Michelle Yeoh never looked better as an actress, but all of that is utterly painful considering the total deficiency, where the good performances are beaten by fragmenting and absent everything. This status of non-stop action and non-stop unanswered questions produced funny vagueness that becomes explicitly silly crap with that abrupt weird ending. Hence, it lost a somehow balanced intellectual core, good meaningful drama, and even as a pure action it doesn't have a proper, any satisfying, climax ! I read some reviewer promising that (Babylon A.D.) will be a cult classic. Well, it will be in terms of being a famous / infamous example for big Hollywood movie released impudently "incomplete" ! P.S : in his song "Billie Jean", Michael Jackson said that a girl claims that she's pregnant with a twin; one of them is his (??!). With seeing (Aurora) giving birth to a twin; one white and one black, I finally knew that crazy Billie Jean could have been truthful after all !

This is prob one of the worst films I've seen in recent years.Vin Diesel can not act. He is only stereotyped into tough guy roles as thats all he can play.The film is one gigantic mess. Apparently Vin has to escort and deliver some chick and her Asian sidekick to America from Russia. (From Russia with love lol.) It seems she has some kind of special powers, tho we are never told exactly what/who she is and what these magical powers are.But what I do know, is that it seem the Asian lady and Vin lost their lives protecting her for nothing because the girl was able to dodge bullets and rockets with her magical powers anyway......A really stupid contrived film. I was bored throughout. Vin Diesel is a one trick pony and even as an 'action' star he sucks.Do not waste you time on Babylon A.D, is really is not worth yours or anyones time.

Terrible script, terrible storyline, cheap graphics, total rip of Blade Runner, practically shot for shot in places, the ending makes no sense, and i like Kassovitz, La Haine was amazing, he was great in Amelie, just the worst film ever, Babylon AD, big dull dud, Vin Diesal mutters through out. All it needs is the Wilhelm scream, nothing is explained in ad i don't need to see a dead cat chopped up and eaten. Gerard Depardieu looks like a potato, it also rips off Star Wars when hes in Tattooine, god i cant hate this film enough. Im sure there is a wall with wet paint on it that is preferable to watching this film, its 90 minutes of my life i wont get back, what about Ramplings character? What happens to her? she just walks off after apparently searching for her kid for years, come on! I mean the only difference is she actually stayed fully clothed for once. Avoid at all costs.