You won't be disappointed!

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Stumbling out of the theater, my friend said in a small voice, "I think that was even stranger than Hourglass Sanatorium".This one follows a cast of characters comprising a family whose given names are evocative of literary figures, ways of being, and pretty objects. Unsurprisingly, the character Ulysses is on a rambling quest to find something that may not exist at all -- an adumbrate vision of his wife Hyacinth. Oh, and all he has to do is make it from the first floor of his house to the third.March (crawl, duck, run) behind them while they are sometimes nude, scraping at things, or shaking dice (there's a joke about masturbation in here somewhere), navigating their bilious house that has a ton of locked doors and a mess of floating dust particles, which -- I'm going out on a limb -- are probably metaphor for the thickness of whatever it is that came between them.My favorite thematic preoccupation lies in Maddin's stirring portrayal of the fuzzy line between life and death, with figures floating in and out of the frame (and existence), incorporating themselves into deadly vanishing-vignettes that keep recurring, and, corporeal, positioning themselves in zones of the house and grounds that Maddin somehow conveys to the audience are "dead space".

'Keyhole' is mostly shot in black-and-white... and there my understanding of it ends. The basic plot seems to be about a gangster (Jason Patric) searching for his wife (Isabella Rossellini, still beautiful) who is hiding behind a locked door in a haunted house. For some reason he's dragging along with him a drowned - but talking - young woman and a bound & gagged young man. Meanwhile various other gangsters and ghosts roam about the place to no great effect. It's hard to judge the actors' performances because they're placed in such an unreal situation and are acting from such a bizarre script. To paraphrase London Mayor Boris Johnson, it goes 'zoink' off the arty-farty register. Fans of fat old man nudity will love it, unfortunately.

Usually I do not go out of my way to give poor reviews; if I don't like a film, normally I just don't bother.But...Since I AM an avid fan of Surreal, Abstract, and vague Art films, I felt that I really should leave some comments. Seriously, I really LOVE David Lynch, Jean De Cocteau, and even some Jodorowsky, etc. But this film... Well, it quite honestly left me flatter than Chaz Bono.I mean, I really do like way out SUPER weird films, I do. But in this film, all I see are a bunch of quick, senseless edits, constant repetitive shots of people squawking, and just a TOTAL mishmash of noise and images. To me, THE key element missing here is that there is NO real atmosphere or mood at all. ZERO, at least for me personally... When a movie simply doesn't move you or do anything for you, then all you are left with is a feeling that it is completely meaningless and that it has no emotional or entertainment value. At least that is the way it made me feel after watching it. It just didn't resonate with me.For example, let's say in 'ERASERHEAD', you have many, MANY long scenes where it seems like nothing is happening and so on the surface it LOOKS like just long, static shots. BUT... and it is a BIG BUT like Mariah Carey's... There is MOOD pouring and dripping from every damn frame. Intensity with layers of underlying tension in the soundtrack. The lighting is to die for, etc., etc., etc... But, with this film, you get NONE of that. YES, there are individual shots that could be viewed as nice set pieces, but the way they are all put together (or rather, NOT put together) ends up having no real impact at all. Cinematically, atmospherically, or in any other way really...I DO respect the fact, though, that others here apparently really do like the film. In some way that I do not understand, it resonates with them as an authentic artwork and does indeed DO something for them personally. I guess whatever it is that others ARE relating to in this film, must be going right over me and I'm just not seeing whatever it is that they see in this movie. I suppose what you can take from this is that if you are like me and you like your Surrealism / Art Films to be more ponderous and indirect and more heavily laced with a deep moodiness such as David Lynch's 'ERASERHEAD' or 'MULHOLLAND DRIVE' where you appreciate the silences and pauses. and where there is more of a dark, PALPABLE appeal to the subconscious, then you may not like this film where there is more of a superficial feel, with frenetic editing and imagery, that at least in my lowly opinion, is much more obvious and crude with big, fat, old, naked men lying on the floor with their little wee wee's and fat bellies hanging out and quick close-ups of his lined face, and fast, choppy edits between people's faces and dark rooms, and then back again as they let out these bizarre baying sounds. With odd comments like 'Now, all the people who are dead, stand over here' HUH...??? Sorry, that is just not my kind of thing...I'm afraid that I must side with others here who just do not like this film; maybe I'm truly missing something, I don't know. I DID give it a '3' because the B&W photography looked nice. But quite honestly as far as I'm concerned, I think It rather rip my own testicles off then to have to ever, EVERY sit through this movie again (let's hope it doesn't come to that...)

Guy Maddin's new feature is pretty typical for the director. If you're a fan, it'll please you. If you're among the uninitiated, it'll drive you nuts. Me, I'm an enormous fan, have seen almost all of his films more than once and own all of his features except for the one that's unavailable on DVD (and this one). Keyhole may even be a bit more esoteric than his other films, but certainly not by much. Jason Patrick (of all people) stars as a probably dead gangster who holes up in his old house along with his gang. He wants to reconnect with his wife (Isabella Rossellini, who has had her wagon hitched to Maddin for about a decade now), who is locked upstairs and unwilling to come out (Patrick talks to her through the titular hole). The house is haunted by various ghosts from the past, including frequent Maddin collaborator Louis Negin, playing Rossellini's father, who is chained naked to her bed and often wanders about the house whipping the other ghosts. Patrick explores the house, trying to find a way to get to his wife, alongside a pretty, young blind girl (Brooke Palsson) who always feels as if she is drowning, and a gagged hostage that the gang has taken (David Wontner). As Patrick explores, the rest of his gang plans to betray him. Other recognizable members of the cast include Udo Kier, who plays a doctor, and Kevin McDonald of The Kids in the Hall (Maddin formerly worked with Kid in the Hall Mike McKinney in The Saddest Music in the World, and was honestly a much better fit for the director than McDonald is). As you might have figured out by now, this is pretty weird. As is common with Maddin's films, he had about fifty weird ideas and combined them into a feature. That might sound like it could be a mess, but if anyone can handle something like this, it's Maddin. And I loved it. His aesthetic hasn't changed much in the past decade or so, but he's a master of imagery. I also love his dreamy dialogue and sound design. I certainly wouldn't recommend an uninitiated viewer to start with this one, but, again, if you're a fan, don't hesitate.