I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Not everything in the film version of "Mr. Roberts" avoided the redolence of the mid-1950s--particularly the cornball aspects of a lot of "service comedy" then. Still."Mister Roberts" was made when World War II was not a distant memory, and some fidelity to that remembered collective experience is respected even in the vein of comedy. "Ensign Pulver" is perhaps not much more broad, but it is much more crude and is no longer interested in capturing the sensibility of the period in which it is set. Instead it panders to the period in which it was made, as if to say the gold standard of comedy then was found on TV in "Get Smart" and "Batman." In short, its sensibility was what was then called Camp. This is understandable except for the fact that the director and collaborator on the original material, Joshua Logan, directed "Ensign Pulver" and should have had a stake in staying true to the impulses behind the creation of this story and these characters. After all, Henry Fonda, having spent years as Mr. Roberts onstage, fought his old pal John Ford (and got a punch in the mouth for it) during the early filming of "Mister Roberts" in order to uphold the integrity of Logan's vision. But Logan himself in "Ensign Pulver" seems to have thrown that integrity overboard with the blessed palm tree.

Perhaps if this film had no connection at all to the superb Mister Roberts, it might rate three stars for being simply a terrible comedy misfire of stunning proportions. That could be forgiven, dismissed, and easily overlooked. However, this film exists only as a cynical effort to cash-in on the success of a treasured creative triumph which had been emotionally embraced by audiences worldwide. There is but one redeeming factor in this entire abomination of a sequel and that is the presence of Walter Matthau. He comes off well although the lifeless mess of a script gives him little to work with. The rest of the ensemble is a conglomeration of miscasting (the usually excellent Ives), actors lacking any talent whatsoever (Tommy Sands?!), and the completely charmless, irritating, and horrendously awful Robert Walker, Jr. He alone is enough to sink this stinking scow and was better suited to portraying psychopaths on TV when some delusional casting director actually believed Walker, Jr. would be just right for some doomed police procedural. While it is somewhat interesting to see young future stars at the start of their careers, the performances are really pretty bad and all of these now well-known actors were fortunate to have survived this wreck, let alone going on to win multiple awards, appearing in some of the most successful television programs/films ever produced, and earning many millions in cash. Besides a soulless script, Ensign Pulver was personally assassinated by director Josh Logan, acting without mercy and with a vicious abandon that is painful to witness. Even a gentle soul like Mr. Roberts himself might well have taken some drastic action if he had seen the ruthless damage inflicted upon this rusting tub of unpleasantness and would have desperately deflected Logan's grim pattern of relentless torpedoes. Alas, those who saw the original Mr. Roberts will most likely find this ghastly garbage barge a heartbreaking insult to the source material if not an outright greedy criminal assault upon a beloved classic.

The only thing this film has going for it is catching all the great actors, at the start of their careers) that are in smaller roles as the sailors on board - James Farentino, a skinny James Coco, Larry Hagman, George Lindsay, Dick Gautier and even a young Jack Nicholson! OK Walter Matthau is worth watching in anything he does, but that is all. The rest of the film is another Josh Logan homo-erotic mess. Yes, it is. He seems to have spent more time on the scenes where the sailors get together and have fun dancing in their underwear, whacking each other on the butt, running around with no shirts and skimpy shorts and there is even a scene where one sailor, as they sit and listen to the radio, has one arm draped over another guys leg. The rest of the story is like the boat they are on - old, rusty and goes no where. The worst is Robert Walker(who should have kept the Jr after his name)who does his best to do a perfect Jack Lemmon impersonation and that gets irritating as you wonder why they didn't get Jack himself. He probably read the script.

We remember the hype about this film : "You'll be Pulver-ized with laughter!!!" Umm. . .NOT!! This seadog of a movie has none of the wit or pathos of "Mister Roberts", it's progenitor. Burl Ives does his level best to save this loser, but his efforts are torpedoed by Robert Walker Jr as Pulver, a pale imitation of Jack Lemmon. For our money, Walker was at his best as a barely recognizable hippie in "Easy Rider", or possibly as a product demonstrator in toy commercials for Milton-Bradley, but never, ever as a junior officer in the Navy. Or the Army either, for that matter. This film was billed as a comedy/drama, but fails miserably as either. The jokes aren't funny, and the alleged drama is hopelessly contrived, such as when Walker and Ives, mortal enemies, are adrift together in a small boat. Oh, can't you just reach out and touch the tension? This movie is essentially an endurance test, and should be required viewing for prospective telemarketers. You, on the other hand, should avoid it at all costs.