Best movie ever!

Entertaining from beginning to end, it maintains the spirit of the franchise while establishing it's own seal with a fun cast

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

A spoof of b-grade movies, rotten 60s kids TV series (at the beginning),martial arts movies, James Bond ripoffs, damsel in distress plots .... and set in beautiful Wellington to boot. Every time I watch it I spot another forced continuity error. The "making of" sequences are particularly entertaining - the director is living rough and being hassled by the actors and cameraman for their overdue pay, everyone is terrified of the producer and changes the subject when his name comes up, and the heroine (an Asian actress) is represented as a pakeha (European) lass who had to spend five hours in makeup every morning (a reference to the Lord of the Rings, being made in Wellington at the time; in addition, the pakeha actress did the heroine's voice in the movie). The villain Action Fighter (Jermaine Clements of Flight of the Concordes) is represented as a humble biscuit factory worker at the Griffins factory in the (local) Hutt Valley. Gorgeous.A great personal favourite!

I know I use the word 'awesome' a lot, I just happen to watch a lot of crazy awesome movies. I can't help it. I don't actively seek them out, they just find a way of ending up on my TV or in my DVD player. Anyway, where was I? 'Awesome'. I use the word 'awesome' frequently, and I'll admit that I'm not even using it correctly in more than a few cases. However, 'awesome' is my way of indicating a given movie's coolness level, and such a little word is so much more descriptive than a silly rating system involving numbers and stars. For example, I believe I rated 'Wild Zero' as 10 stars, 'Versus' as 9 stars, and 'Battlefield Baseball' as 8 stars, but I do believe I said each one is awesome. Numbers are so inaccurate, and can't describe such movies. 'Awesome' is so much more descriptive.Now you may be asking "But how does all this relate to 'Tongan Ninja'?". Well, you see Billy, any number I give to 'Tongan Ninja' would be grossly unfair, as it would not be taking both the awesomeness of 'Tongan Ninja' and its value as a movie into account (see my review of 'Killer Meteors'. However, if I were to simply say 'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome, that would say so much more: it would say that anyone easily amused will enjoy it, and then people of any class and refinement should avoid it entirely.'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome.Sione (Sam Manu) is the Tongan Ninja. As a child, he survived a plane crash caused by Marvin (Jemaine Clement), who has since grown up to be an evil ninja and Sione's rival. Marvin makes it a point to frequently remind Sione that Sione's father survived, only to be eaten by a fish. The adult Sione is sent to New Zealand by their ninja mentor, Master Magasaki, to protect a restaurant in true 'Way of the Dragon' style. But the evil ninja Marvin is not far behind...In all its crazy awesomeness, 'Tongan Ninja' is a spoof on old kung-fu movies. Hell, the plot is taken from Bruce Lee's 'Way of the Dragon', just with some extra creative license. Its a funny movie, messing around with the stereotypical plot elements (dead fathers, "I am your father", the greatest fighter of whatever style), bad dubbing, and making most of the very limited budget they had instead of trying to hide from being cheap. The fight scenes serve to amuse as comedy, not as true fight scenes, and the action goes way over the top but manages to stay funny throughout the movie.Cheap and wacky, 'Tongan Ninja' isn't obviously going to appeal to everyone. However, anyone who likes their movies cheap and wacky (not to mention crazily awesome) will enjoy this.

Well-pitched parody. Its strength is that it doesn't take itself seriously but clearly appreciates (and sweetly imitates) the over-dubbed corny kung fu movie genre. The DVD commentary is very loose and laid-back (often funny) but explains why the movie was so suited to parodying this style: it took 3 years to film, on a minimal budget. The over-dubbing was necessary because they couldn't afford sound recording on set. It was a simple extra step to deliberately mis-time the dubbing (or you could take the word of the lead actor that they were all carefully schooled in the art of speaking lines out of sync with their lips). A cult movie, best viewed with a group of friends, some popcorn and a few beers. I highly recommend the "extras" on the DVD: hilarious cast interviews as well as interviews with Peter Jackson (who always wanted to make the movie, couldn't get the rights and had to settle for making LOTR).

Shot in English, and dubbed into English (because they couldn't afford location-based sound recording), Tongan Ninja sets out to be one of the worst films of all time and succeeds beautifully. Our one-dimensional hero is pitted against a variety of one-dimensional enemies, including Knife Man (who uses a knife), Gun Man (who uses a gun) and Action Fighter (who had the assistance of wire team from Lord of the Rings). It tells you something about a movie when the director's commentary features lines like "We were very lucky and had the use of the Lord of the Rings wire team for two weeks. But we had to ask them to make it look cheaper and messier, so it would match the rest of the movie." I'm a big fan of DVD special features. The 'making of' featurette features wonderful interviews with Peter Jackson and the director of Shrek, telling some very inventive lies about their admiration for this movie. The director's commentary is a wonderful insight into the labour of love that no-budget film-making can be, and the actor's commentary is a wonderful insight into actors who are deeply embarrassed to be in such a cheap movie. If you can enjoy bad action movies, this one is absolutely priceless.