That was an excellent one.

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

OK so the Russians are developing secret nuclear missiles and are selling them to the American Mafia, who only want to buy them so they can use them to trick the Russians into blowing themselves up. The best scene must be when the main character, who looks like Lee from Steps, jumps out of a window (to avoid a grenade). He magically turns into Phil Collins in mid air, and lands (once again as Lee) on a Van conveniently placed below. He then gets up and runs back up to his apartment, while the baddies run down the stairs on the way out - How they failed to meet en route is a complete mystery, he must have used the lift and the baddies had read the script and knew they would have to use the stairs! Also the grenade has done so little damage to the apartment that he should have just stayed in there in the first place! Really good b-movie!

There used to be a time when you could stumble across a movie in a bargain bin and it be realized as a masterpiece. Occasionally the path of cult classics discovered by today's audience. Now, however, with the vast amount of low budget movies being made these days it seems there are too many diamonds lost in the celluloid rough.After watching 'Armstrong' countless times I was still unsure of how to take it. Excellently choreographed spoof (to top all others including 'Airplane!') or baneful and calamitous one-take-per-shot "action" adventure.I'm still confused but I urge you to check it out. It made me laugh and it made me cry.

****SPOILERS**** The Russian and US Mafia's get together in the movie "Armstrong" in an alliance to take over the new Russian Nuclear Agency. The two gangster organizations plan to sell the dangerous and deadly nuclear weapons to the highest bidders who for the most part are terrorist-type groups in the Middle-East and Africa who have the millions to buy them. Bob Zorkin, Charles Naper, a former Navy Seal instructor is sent by the US government on a secret mission to Russia using the cover as an American tourist. Zorkin's job is to find out and report back to his bosses in the US Pentagon and State Department who's involved in the Russian government and military in dealing with both the Russian & US Mafia. Told that if the Russian government can't stop the gangsters, American & Russians, from selling the nuclear material It's his job to use his skills as a Navy Seal to take them out. Zorkin and his wife Susan, Kimberley Kates, are followed to Moscow by two mobsters from the US Ponytail & his bumbling assistant Eric, Joe Lara & Igor Porshev. Bob then goes to the hotel room where Rod Armstrong, Frank Zagarino, a former student and good friend of Zorkin is staying at. Armstrong is training the Russian secret service in the art of modern combat methods that he learned from Zorkin with the Navy Seals. Before you know it Zorkin is killed and later his wife Susan is kidnapped by the US/Russian Mob. The murder and kidnapping of Bob and Susan gives Armstrong the opportunity to show his stuff in taking on the two mob organizations and at the same time saving the world, or the city of Moscow, from nuclear annihilation. The two mob organizations , US Mafia & Russian, are trying to find out from Susan why her husband was in Moscow, as if they couldn't figure it out all by themselves. But the mobs main reason is to get Armstrong out of the way before he stops them from getting their hands on the nuclear weapons and also find what was on a tape that her husband Bob gave him. "Armstrong" really makes no sense at all with the US mobsters, for reasons known only to themselves, trying to trick the obviously drunk and naive Russians to get them to blow themselves up with the nuclear weapons that they were going to sell them? The movie never takes the time to explain why?Armstrong takes care of the both US & Russian mobs and the corrupt Russian military men single-handedly wearing a tuxedo that he had on when he attended the Russian Opera. Armstrong also saved the Russian president from being assassinated by Ponytail with his tuxedo not having as much as a tear or even a as much as a smudge of dirt on it after he took care of business. Armstrong's fight with Ponytail is also ridicules when after it looked like Armstrong killed him, by sticking a knife in his chest, Ponytail pulls it out and is even stronger and almost beats Armstrong with half of his blood supply drained out of his body.The reason for Ponytail & Co. being so eager to find the tape that Bob Zorkin gave Armstrong was also nutty when you finally saw the tape it. The tape showed what you and Ponytail and his mob cohorts should have already known. The secret tape showed that the US government was investigating the Russian/US mobs who it suspected of working with corrupt elements in the Russian Army to get their hands on Russia's nuclear weapons. Shouldn't they have know that just by Zorkin being sent to Moscow by the US State Department? The action scenes in the movie were about the only thing worth watching, there was also a very explicit nude scene of Kimberly Kates going out of the shower, but for a plot and story that makes any sense at all, forget it.

NOTE: Minor spoilers here.Sometimes I come on this site and realize there are thousands upon thousands of movies in existence. I wonder how so many could be made, and then I think about cheap, simplistic movies like "Armstrong," and my wonders cease. Don't let familiar faces drag you to see this. All of them have been in a lot better movies, and it is a mystic puzzle how they could all participate in this. Frank Zagarino can be a good actor when he wants to, and is a hoot in the "Project: Shadowchaser" films; Joe Lara was in "Hologram Man," which was a pleasant surprise for me; and Charles Napier and Richard Lynch are veterans in the industry. But there is so much wrong with "Armstrong" that it is impossible to cover all the negative points and tough to decide where to start.Zagarino plays Rod Armstrong, an ex-CIA agent that now works as freelance muscle. He leaves America and goes to Moscow, where he is hired by high-ranking general Richard Lynch. Armstrong's former friend (Napier) arrives in Moscow with his young wife, and has knowledge that some Russians are not obeying an anti-nuke treaty. He is killed by Joe Lara, a member of the American Mafia put in charge of the Russian Mafia by corrupt Russian leaders. Armstrong vows to stop the plot. Speaking of plot, that is about it. You've probably seen hundreds of similar, better movies with the same plot, and can figure out every step of this one. Heck, the moment one sees Richard Lynch as a Russian colonel, you know he'll turn out to be corrupt. Even I could ignore the triviality of the plot, but the rest is inexcusable. The direction is awful. It jumps from scene to scene without a piece of inspiration. The "action" is really bad, and I doubt if even a good director could make them exciting with the script that this movie has. Take for example the scene where Lara breaks into Zagarino's home for the first time. A grenade is dropped, and to avoid death, Zagarino dives out the window and onto a pea soup green van unharmed. But no one else in the apartment gets out before the blast, but they still survive without a scratch. What's worse is that the blast doesn't even damage Zagarino's home, as it is intact in later scenes. Oh, but flaws like that are sprinkled throughout the film. Bad guys killed or knocked out suddenly show up a few scenes later, and at one point, a dead body in the background has a very noticeable leg twitch. I could go on and on...But the horrible dialogue is what makes you embarrassed to be viewing the film over all the other bad points. It is the worst I think I have ever heard. I usually just shake my head at bad dialogue, but when I heard Joe Lara say "He knows much too much" I laughed so loud I had to muffle my mouth with my hands. So if you are in the video rental store, and you spot this in the action section, secretly move it to the comedy section where it belongs. Zantara's score: 1 out of 10.