Touches You

Good concept, poorly executed.

Excellent adaptation.

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

So I've decided that if the makers of a PPV are going to put very little effort into their shows, then I'm gonna do the same for my reviews. This show is bad, this is show is boring, but most importantly, this show is predictable. Ahmed Johnson's match with Hunter is just Hunter getting destroyed and then winning with one move. Lawler's match with Foley drags on way to long. Crush vs Goldust is nothing, and solely exists to fill time. Sid's tag match with the Road Warriors is just there, not even the Harts can save it from being mediocre. Hunter's match with Foley just exists for 20 minutes, only really picking up in the last 3 minutes. The only really good match on the show is Shawn vs Austin, but the match isn't the best between them, and ends in a no contest, so it also isn't really worth your time. The main event is Taker vs Ron Simmons, and you should be able to predict the winner solely from the two guys involved. I don't know what they were thinking when they chose to make this a 3 hour show, and put only one match with potential on it. Not worth your time.

1. KoR Semifinal: Ahmed Johnson Vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley - Crowd was 100% behind Ahmed... But he loses...again. Match was obviously nothing special with some mistakes and misunderstandings. 6.5/10 2. KoR Semifinal: Mankind Vs. Jerry Lawler - Ordinary match. Mankind advances. 7/10 3. Crush Vs. Goldust - They did some decent moves. Yes, even Crush. 6.5/10 4. Hart Foundation Vs. Legion of Doom/Sid Vicious - Nothing worth-for-watch occurred. 6/10 5. KoR Final Match: Mankind Vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley - Mankind is one tough bastard. He could eat all the pain of the world! But HHH became KoR 1997. Exciting was only the 2nd part of the match. 8/10 6. Steve Austin Vs. Shawn Michaels - Pretty awesome match with terrible DQ ending. 8.5/10

King of the Ring 1997 continued the event's losing streak with another mediocre entry here. Triple H and Mankind put on a decent final, and Shawn Michaels PPV return, thankfully in a non-title match, had a good match against Stone Cold but the semi finals and WWE Championship match were rather disappointing also.The night started off with Hunter Hearst Helmsley, not long from becoming Triple H, defeat Ahmed Johnson in a KOTR semi Final match. This was one of Johnson's better matches, but still wasn't good.Mankind won the next match, the second semi final, defeating Jerry Lawler in a dull match that was longer than it needed to be and so he would be facing Helmsley in the King of the Ring Final later on in the night.Next match saw Goldust, still a good guy, defeat the Nation of Domination's Crush (with D Lo Brown and former manager Clarence Mason). This was just a filler match, but did the job. Pass.Our next match saw Sycho Sid making his first PPV appearance since Wrestlemania 13, teaming up with the Legion of Doom and losing to the New Hart Foundation (Owen Hart, The British Bulldog and Jim Neidhart). Given the talent involved this was about as good as could be expected. Sid wasn't much longer in the WWE, while the New Hart Foundation was gaining momentum heading into the next In Your House PPV where they would be fan favourites for a night in Canada.Next was the King of the Ring Final which saw Helmsley defeat Mankind thanks to interference from his female bodyguard Chyna. This was a fun brawl. Hunter and Mankind did some great work together and this match elevated both men. Helmsley broke his King of the Ring crown which would become a running joke with Hunter breaking two more at attempted coronations.Next saw WWE tag Team Champions Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin collide in an excellent singles match. The feud was part of Bret Hart's evil plan to turn the tag champs against each other. And it nearly worked, but they got control of their emotions in time for no real damage to be done. The New Hart Foundation then attacked both men, forcing a double DQ.The Main Event saw the Undertaker retain the Title over Farooq, the leader of the Nation of Domination in an instantly forgettable match.And so there you have it, the extra our on this King of the Ring PPV actually served to hurt the card, as it meant they put on meaningless filler matches. But the big matches were all good, or at least watchable. Not a bad PPV, but not a good one either.

Semi finals: Ahmed Johnson v Hunter Hearst-Helmsley: This is a typical HHH match around 1996 - 1997 where he used Chyna (before her plastic surgery) to help him win matches. It looked like Ahmed was going to win after delivering a scissor-kick, backdrop and spine-buster but, as typical as the WWF gets, Chyna distracted Johnson as he was about to go for the Pearl River Plunge. This allowed HHH to hit the pedigree (looks a bit different to what it does now) and sneak the pin. Nothing remarkable but an okay opener. HHH goes through to the finals . . . 4/10 Mankind v Jerry 'King' Lawler: Before the match, Foley cut a promo that involved 'the emperor wearing no clothes' but, like myself, the crowd were pretty much dead to it. The match itself wasn't too bad for a Lawler outing, giving a half-decent work-rate for once (actually seeing him do a decent dropkick!). Of course, he still felt the need to do the 'hidden foreign object in the tights' routine but aside from that some nice bumps by Mankind into the railings and a Lawler pile-driver on the outside. The match ended when Lawler attempted another pile-driver, Mankind reversed it with a backdrop, Lawler held on for the sunset-flip but got caught in the Mandible Claw and submitted. Mankind goes through to the finals . . . 5/10 Goldust v Crush: What is interesting is Jim Ross refers to Goldust as 'The Natural' Dustin Rhodes and will do the same later on for Farooq, calling him Ron Simmons, actually blowing their kayfabe characters, lol. The match ends when The Nation of Domination try to intimidate Marlena but Goldust knocks them out and gets the DDT on Crush for the pin. Poor Crush. Despite showing some great moves (including a lovely belly-to-belly suplex and a military press/gut-buster combo) he is totally wasted with this gangland gimmick that only requires him to brawl. Not as awful as the match appears on paper. 5/10Legion of Doom and 'Psycho' Sid v British Bulldog, Owen Hart and Jim 'Anvil' Niedhart: A bit of an odd match-up where Sid is portrayed as a face though granted he still knows how to keep the psycho character in play. What is interesting about this match is the amount of no-selling. British Bulldog does a vertical suplex on Sid and Sid actually bounces back up! Hawk completely no-sells a beautiful pile-driver by British Bulldog and later on completely no-sells a double clothesline attempt by literally breaking through it. Anyway, the match ends when Owen Hart does a sloppy flying sunset-flip on Sid who is about to powerbomb Bulldog (Sid has to back into Owen for him to get hooked) to get the pin-fall - so basically the crux is Sid can jump out of vertical suplexes but is completely immobile when it comes to pin attempts - figure that one out. Hmmmm . . . 6/10 Final: Mankind v HHH: This pretty much starts off the long-running feud between these two. As a final, it is quite a slog to start with as Mankind has to sell his bad neck caused by Lawler in the previous match. At one point, Mankind gets his neck caught in the ring ropes. Mankind hits an elbow on HHH while he is in the tree of woe and crashes into railings. HHH manages to pedigree Mankind on to the announcers table (before they were like the ones they use now) and also hit by Chyna's sceptre as he tries to get back into the ring. HHH manages a further pedigree for the pin-fall to become King of the Ring 1997. Probably would have been a classic if the match was cut short by 5 minutes. 6/10'Stone Cold' Steve Austin v Shawn Michaels: Before the match, An injured Bret Hart cuts a pretty rubbish promo with Bulldog, Niedhart, Owen and Pillman beside him. They cause a scene involving Jim Ross and Vince McMahon that makes them look stupid rather than menacing. Anyway, Austin and Michaels at this point are tag champions. The match is pretty fast-paced with multiple Irish-whip attempts, reversals and near fall attempts and Austin makes a hilarious muscle-pose imitating Shawn at one point. The conclusion arrives when Austin is reverse Irish-whipped and crushes the referee into the turnbuckle. Both wrestlers manage to use their finishing moves on each and the referees (the original and the one that comes to the ring to check on him). Earl Hebner comes to the ring by this time and declares a double- disqualification. Don't worry Austin, you two will fight each other again in under a year's time. One thing to note is don't listen to this on high volume, the amount of women squealing for Michaels in the match is nauseous. 7/10Undertaker v Farooq for the WWF championship: It is so interesting that the announcers make such a big deal that Farooq could be the first African American man to hold the championship belt. Considering the booking is fixed already, this actually says more about the WWE than the athletes, lol. This isn't as painful to watch as it seems on paper as Farooq gets hit in the face with his own steel steps and Undertaker completing a lovely drop onto the Nation of Domination while doing the old school 'standing on the ropes' trick. It seems there is dissension in the Nation for, what appears to be no reason, causing Farooq to be distracted enough to be given the tombstone and Undertaker the pin. Farooq from here gives way to a new leader of the Nation. 5/10 Overall, a King of the Ring that deserved to be as awful as the one two years previous but, due to decent performances, was pretty watchable.