Simply Perfect

I wanted to but couldn't!

Good concept, poorly executed.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

MGM Never Understood and Always Looked Down Upon the Film-Noir of RKO and the Socially Conscious WB and Considered All of that Stuff Low-Brow and Not Worthy of the Sanctimonious Studio. Eventually in the Late Forties and Early Fifties while In Decline and in Desperation to at least Compete with those Types of Movies that were Popular, they Relegated Second Units to Make Movies in those Genres. Most of the Time they Failed and in this Case they Failed Miserably. A Film with No Clue about what it is or what it wants to be, the Studio Delivered a Film Hodgepodge with No Conviction on Any of its Multiple Styles.Streetwise Locations are on the Back Lot with Enough Room for a Prancing Musical Number or Two, Seedy New Orleans Interiors are Slick Highly Lit Sets Filled with Happy Folks who Sing and Dance on Cue. Narration is used with some of the Worst Hollywood Writing of the Time and the Story is Concerned with Propagandizing the War in Korea.Ralph Meeker Fans Better Stay Away from this one as He Struggles to be a Man and is Haunted by a Past that in a Reveal is Skull Crushingly Dumb. Leslie Caron Looks Cute and Flashes Her Legs Vibrantly Until You Notice, but the Idea of Her Doing Ballet in a Girly Bar says it all about the Filmmakers being So Far Out of their Element that it is Painful to Watch.

"Glory Alley" is a frustrating movie because it is so dumb and completely wastes the talents of one of the more interesting actors of his time, Ralph Meeker. Meeker had a natural way of acting--tough, gritty and with incredible realism. He played a great Mike Hammer and was terrific in "Shadow in the Sky". It's odd how he didn't become more famous--maybe a few terrible films like this one could explain it.The first clue that this was a bad film was the opening narration. Rarely will you find dumber narration--and you wonder who wrote this tripe. Unfortunately, during the Korean War segment later in the film, you hear this lame claptrap again.The film is about the ridiculously named 'Socks Barbarossa' (Meeker). He's a contender for the title but, inexplicably, he simply walks out of the boxing ring seconds before a big fight begins. Why is uncertain for a while but SOME of his motivation seems to be a desire not to become a punch-drunk loser--the fate of most boxers. Naturally, folks are darn mad--but the angriest is the blind father (Kurt Kasznar) of his girlfriend (Leslie Caron).As for Caron, she still wants to marry Meeker. It might mean she can finally leave her job dancing on Bourbon Street. Now the dancing made me laugh--instead of stripping she danced a supposedly sexy dance--consisting of ballet and lots of wiggling. Coming for a cute lady like Caron, it made me laugh and seemed about as erotic as watching Irene Ryan strip! Who came up with this?!?! Meeker spends much of the rest of the film trying to prove he is a man. And, when he's sent to Korea, he risks his life and wins the Medal of Honor--and everyone loves him--except for Kasznar. As for Kasznar, he's ridiculously angry throughout the film and constantly berates Meeker. For him, the Congressional Medal of Honor isn't good enough!! Duh. So what can Meeker do next to win over Kasznar? Because without doing this, it seems unlikely Caron will ever marry him.In the end, you find out the MAIN reason he had for quitting boxing--and it makes no sense at all! All that wait, the bad narration and Kasznar's bad overacting...for nothing! A complete and total waste--showing even a very good actor can make a terrible films. And, even more amazing is that it was directed by one of the better directors of his time, Raoul Walsh! Uggh--it's bad.

**SPOILERS** Bizarre but interesting movie about a professional prize fighter Socks Barbarrosa, Ralph Meeker, who just loses it when he's about the fight Terry Waulker, Pat Valentino, the #1 contender for the Heavyweight Championship of the World. Bolting from the ring as he's being introduced Socks locks himself in his dressing room announcing his retirement from boxing?During all the confusion Socks knocks on his butt, by accident of course, the blind-proving that justice is truly blind-"Judge" Gus Evens, Kurt Kasznar,who just happens to be the father of Socks' fiancée leggy nightclub danger Angie Evens, Leslie Caron! This strange action on Socks part has his forthcoming marriage to Angie put on hold with "The Judge", who's to give away the bride, being the one person to object to Socks having his daughter's hand in marriage.As you would expect Socks becomes somewhat of a freak show wherever he goes with everybody making him the butt of their jokes about a man who cracked up at the very moment that he was to become, by beating Terry Waulker, the top contender for the heavyweight crown. In fact Socks did have his match with Waulker, who lost his $15,000.00 purse because Socks chickened out, in the empty arena knocking him flat on his a** in less then a minute!The movie gets even more bizarre when Socks is about to get his life, and head, back together as an assistant bar tender at his good friend's Peppi Donnato's, Glbert Roland, drinking establishment,"The Punch Bowl", that he's drafted into the US Army at the height of the Korean War. Socks' military experience in the movie is so short, about three minutes, that if you went to buy a soda and bag of popcorn, or go to the bathroom, you would have missed it. All Socks does is take out an important bridge, singlehanded, on the Yalu River blocking a major Communist Chinese offensive! In this selfless and heroic action Socks ends up saving hundreds, if not thousands, of his fellow GI's from total annihilation!Winning, or better yet earning, the Congressional Medal of Honor, the highest medal the nation has to offer its fighting men or women, Socks comes back home to New Orleans a hero but, as you would expect, that doesn't last for long. The very unforgiving "Judge" still has it in for him for Socks knocking him down as well as refusing to have his daughter Angie tie the knot with him.More hurt then ever, what does the guy have to do to get people to like him!, Socks in a last effort to win over "The Judge" secretly gets renowned eye surgeon Dr. Robet Ardley, Larry Gates, from Socks' hometown of Milwaukee to operate and get "The Judge" back his sight. Finding out that Socks is behind him getting his important eye operation "The Judge" goes completely haywire in him not wanting the hated Socks to do anything for him! It's then that Dr. Gates cools "The Judge" off in telling him the real story being Socks strange and and somewhat crazy behavior that began when he was a little boy in Milwaukee. It's after that amazing revelation, on Dr. Gates' part, about Socks hidden and somewhat embarrassing past that everybody, on and off the screen, realizes what a serious head case Socks really is! Dr. Gates' explanation about Socks' mental, or head, problems not only brings out the reason for Socks' off the wall actions but the fact that the poor guy, as much as he tries not to, just can't help himself!Touching ending with Socks redeeming himself both in and out of the boxing ring and finally getting "The Judge" to like him and letting Socks marry his daughter Angie. It's also Angie who got her father to understand Socks strange predicament as well as her own in the movie. Angie tells her father that she in fact is not working as a nurse at the New Orleans General Hospital but dancing half naked, to the hooting and cheering of an almost all male audience, at the anything goes Chez Bozo dance hall in downtown New Orleans. And even being more direct Angie tells "The Judge" that while he's putting the one man-Socks- who can bring back his sight down she's breaking her back every evening at the Chez Bozo to pay his bills and supporting him while he going around feeling sorry for himself!P.S there's also in the film the great trombonist and jazz singer Louie Armstrong as Shadow Johnson who's a good friend of "The Judge". Shadow like Angie tries unsuccessfully to make "The Judge" see the light in what a good fine and caring person Socks really is until "the Judge", with both Socks' and Dr, Gates help, finally "sees" it for himself!

This is one of the few movies I consider so bad they're interesting. The champion in this category is "The Guilt Of Janet Ames." "Glory Alley" is not that awful but it is a real mess. Yet, it is intriguing.Ralph Meeker, the brilliant star of "Kiss Me Deadly" who did way too few movies, plays a boxer named Socks Barbarosa. Maybe Bill Clinton named his cat after this character.Meeker is also very good in "Show In The Sky." He was generally underused ion movies, though."Glory Alley" is a kind of faux-Damon Runyon. Runyon gone South to New Orleans. We have Socks. We have a blind man called the Judge. His helper, played by Louis Armstrong, is named Shadow.The Judge has an Italian accent; yet his daughter has a French accent. And no wonder: She is Leslie Caron. Caron and Meeker could have been a fantastic combination. She's appealing. It's hard, though, to believe that she is doing music hall numbers at a dive called Chez Bozo and her father doesn't know it. He seems to know everything else that's going on.The movie is narrated by newspaper reporter John McIntire. It's a voice-over narration, looking back on the vents we're seeing. But this is no noir. McIntire tells us it's the most fascinating story he ever covered -- and he's never told the truth till now -- is that of Socks Barbarosa.Well, it could have been a fascinating story. It's peopled with fine actors and a superb leading man. But it doesn't hold together. This is not to mention its preaching: Much of the dialogue, especially toward the end, sounds as if it came from a sampler on a wall. Nor what sounds like the MGM Chorale that accompanies some of Armstrong's trumpet playing and is sort of an uplifting Greek chorus.