The Dark Matter of Love
Eleven year old Masha Kulabokhova is about to be adopted into fourteen year old Cami Diaz's family. Masha grew up in a Russian orphanage; Cami was born and raised in Wisconsin and has been the exclusive focus of her parents' love her whole life. The process of Masha becoming part of the Diaz family is going to change both girls forever. The Dark Matter of Love follows Masha as she leaves Russia to the spend her first year as part of the Diaz family, who have also adopted five year old twin boys Marcel and Vadim. When the reality of bonding with children who have grown up in institutions turns out to be more difficult than they ever imagined, the Diaz's hire two of the world's best developmental psychologists to help them build their new family - through science. Sometimes hilarious, sometimes heartbreaking, The Dark Matter of Love melds the story of the Diaz family learning to love, with rare archive footage of science experiments exploring parent-child love.
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Reviews
Best movie of this year hands down!
It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.
I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.
This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama
Many people view adoption as such a wonderful and great thing. People who have always wanted kids can experience parenthood and kids that don't have a "family" get a family. Adoption isn't this cookie cutter concept though. Sharon McCarthy's, The Dark Matter of Love, sheds a light on the trial that can be adoption. This documentary show the struggles one family is faced with after adopting not one, but three children from Russia. It shows the hard part of bringing someone new into an already established family. A reoccurring theme in this documentary is the idea that adoption is an uphill battle from the beginning. This is shown to be especially true when established families are involved as well as when older adopted children. The film also emphasizes the idea of nature and nurture. The adopted children, although not from the same family, had similar tendencies due to their environment in the orphanage. But the film shows how the nurture given by the adopting family plays an extreme role in the development of the children as they grew up. The family featured in this documentary consists of a mom, a dad, a teenage daughter, and a family dog. To engage the audience the film shows the angle and view of each member of the family so that individual members of the audience can find relatable characters. The way the mom is adjusting is different from the dad, and so on with each member of the family. The film captures this beautifully allowing audience members to "put themselves in the families shoes" so to say. All people deal with stress in different ways and I loved how this documentary didn't sugar coat the ugly parts. Some parts were hard to watch but they also had me laughing. One very memorable humorous aspect of the movie was the language barrier between the American family and adopted children. Neither one of the parents knew Russian. The audience watches as these children curse at adults and the adults have no idea what they were saying. The comedic element to the documentary kept the tension lighter and helped to further engage the audience in the families journey. You tag along with this family as they go through this crazy journey. You feel there pain and their sadness but you also feel the accomplishments they make and smile with them as they experience the happy moments. This documentary was very interesting to me due to my interest in mental health. Being a psychology minor I find it very interesting how your childhood impacts your life and relationships with others. The theme of nature versus nurture really resonated with me. I think it would be good for a wide audience range because of its real life situations which are relatable to people even if they haven't been through the same situations. This film would also be good for people to watch because it shows you what children need as they are growing. They need more then food and shelter, they need love and a person they can depend on. I found this film very intriguing because so many people view adoption as this beautiful and amazing time but when in reality it can potentially be hard and very stressful for everyone involved.
The relatively peaceful (documented) outcome was truly against all odds, as many here have said. I enjoyed watching this, despite being slightly sickened and saddened by the emotional issues and blatant ignorance of the parents. As many have said, the experts' diagnosis of Masha was ridiculous, as she was almost unimaginably calm and collected considering the transition. (ugh that alliteration reminded me of the disgusting renaming of the kids to "C" names... a pathetic attempt to play "perfect family"). Sorry, I don't mean to bash the parents who were doing their best, as is everyone. Remember that. But to not learn any Russian? Jesus. The ethnocentrism of some American families is so sad. In itself, I don't know if the language isolation was that damaging, but it clearly revealed the ignorance and unpreparedness of the parents, and ultimately shows their lack of empathy and understanding of the THREE kids they adopted. The two boys could have been much more demonic, and I found the scene where they were cussing out the father hilarious. I would have laughed out loud if I wasn't also a little sickened by the father's disciplinary ignorance. Again, sorry for my bashing. To conclude: Masha was wonderful and would (will?) grow into a very intelligent adult with better caretaker modeling, hopefully some wise and loving adult appears in her life, the sooner the better. The boys have an impressive sense of self, and that will serve them well. Yes, the home environment is better than a Russian orphanage, but still much more superficial than most homes I've been in. To viewers in Russia: many Americans are much more aware and real then this family. To prospective American adoptive parents: not all Russian children coming from orphanages are going to be that easy. Best of luck to the family, and I hope they can help each other heal and grow, as all families have the opportunity to do together. Maybe this situation is what all involved need, and I am just acting ignorant by typing this snarky post.
Dark matter of love" behind the story of a family that wanted new members , but would like to do this from a poorly planned manner . I do not understand why the family did not learn the Russian language , how long they fought for custody of the children? It should be enough time for them to learn the language of future children , maybe they thought " If we talk to them in Russian , kids will not want to learn about the English language ," I hope it was this. Another thing , I know that parents have the right to change the name of their small children , but doing so without consulting them seems wrong , the mother could have preserved the Russian origin of children. Despite all the slips, with time everything seemed to have worked . Masha , Marcel and Vadim need thank a lot to their parents , because the choice to adopt them completely changed the direction of their lives , adding them warmth and love.
"The Dark Matter of Love" is a film about one of the strangest and most ill-prepared families I've ever seen. A couple have a teenage daughter and decide, for reasons that are never apparent, to adopt three children from Russia that were raised in orphanages. One is a girl who is just a few years younger than their biological daughter and two are twins who are incredibly wild and very, very difficult to love. Yet, despite the difficulty in bringing one new child into the home, they bring all three at the same time!!! Some might see them as saints--I see them as a bit crazy and amazingly naive, as they never bothered to learn any Russian and didn't seem to make this choice for clear and intelligent reasons. Fortunately, things eventually seem to work out reasonably well--but in the meantime it is as if the parents chose to move to hell! And, to make it worse, their oldest never chose to do this and her feelings generally don't seem to matter. All these strange motivations and the psychological problems the family has all make for very interesting viewing. I liked these people, mind you, but I sure thought that someone should have suggested a lot of family counseling long before they ever went to pick up the children. Well made and interesting...and I love parents who adopt special needs kids...at least one at a timeAs a retired social worker and therapist, this film would make great viewing for training mental health workers as well as showing to people hoping to adopt a child from abroad, as it opens up MANY, MANY important topics that should be talked about well before anyone decides to adopt.