Too many fans seem to be blown away

the audience applauded

Overrated

It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

Fabulous atmosphere, deep shadows, Venetian blinds, femmes fatale, a picaresque plot that leads from weirdo to weirdo. Everyone in Film Noir lived in a tiny flat that was just one room with a bed and a cooker. And a window for the rain to beat against. 50s fashion was supposed to be terribly ladylike (read "frumpy"), but what the girls wore was soooooo sexy. Tight sweaters, tight skirts, high heels. Anyone would think that psychoanalysts were just running a racket to fleece or blackmail their clients, like fortune tellers. "I'm no swami with a crystal ball." Why, whatever gave you that idea? I must put you under deep hypnosis. (I like the guy who has been at college for 20 years - moving from one seat of learning to another. He must be very educated by now. I suppose he was really selling dope, but this is not made very clear.)

My wife and I have been binge watching the old Charlie Chan films from the '30s and '40s. They are charmingly corny and seem to have laid the groundwork for every Scooby Doo story line that they ever did. There's been a murder in the Wax Museum and we're going to have to creep around in there at night searching for clues!! Scaaaarrryyy! As you might imagine a steady diet of this sort of film starts to leave you hungering for something a little more gritty and down-to-earth. At least that was the case with me. So I decided to watch "I, The Jury", just for kicks, baby. Now I have been aware of Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer for some time, although I have never read a single novel nor watched a Mike Hammer flick before, so I was a little curious to see what a Mike Hammer movie was like. I did a little research on the film before I downloaded it and read that it was the first attempt to bring the two-fisted Hammer to the silver screen. Great, I thought. Usually Hollywood's first attempts are always closest to the source material. I was somewhat familiar with who the character was supposed to be; a hard-boiled loner who'd been around the track more than a couple of times and seen plenty. I was picturing him as being portrayed by a middle-aged actor with a few lines in his face, maybe a scar on his cheek, y'know, having a face that would speak of tough choices and brutal encounters. The IMDb write up listed the actor who plays Mike in this flick as being one Biff Elliot. Never heard of him and who would take a Batman sound effect as his stage name anyway? When the movie started I couldn't have been more surprised. Biff looks like a baby, all smooth faced and cherubic. He looked like he should have been appearing next to Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland in some wacky high school musical! I'll give Biff credit; he tries with all his might to fill the character's shoes but, in the end, he is this movie's biggest flaw. And what a character Mike Hammer is! He's a slightly psychotic rogue with a hair-triggered temper. We're made aware of this fact in the opening scene where a reporter makes a flip remark to Mike as he's leaving the scene of the crime and he smashes him into the china cabinet. Here's the setup: it's Christmas time in the Big Apple and Mike's best friend catches a couple of slugs from a 45 as he's making out his Christmas cards. Mike shows up a short while later, having been summoned by the cops, and has a melt-down over the murder. The victim was a one-armed, former policeman who served with Hammer in WWII. He took the bayonet that was meant for Mike in the arm, which is why he only had one left. Anyway, Mike is furious and announces to the head detective that he's going to find his buddy's killer and put a 45 round in his rotten stinkin guts! Gee, Mike, maybe announcing to the police that you intend to commit murder isn't the best way to start a case! Knee jerk violence isn't Hammer's only character trait. Seems the dames can't resist him. Every babe in this flick, and there a plenty, wants Mike like your dog wants that Slim Jim that's slipped behind the couch pillows. There's Mike's smokin' hot secretary. There's a twisted couple of blonde twins who throw themselves at Mike whenever he shows up to ask them a few questions. And then there's the lady psychiatrist, who seems to have been treating every one of the suspects, as well as Mike's pal, for various complaints that are never elaborated on. She's the most smokin' and sultry of them all. Naturally Mike falls for her in a big way! As the movie rolls along Hammer gets to suck plenty of face but they never seem to take it any farther. This is 1957, after all, and there's not so much as a smidgen of bared flesh to be seen. There's a scene where Hammer is awoken from his bed by urgent knocking at his apartment door. He rises still wearing a shirt and tie! Whatta classy guy! As the story unfolds we are treated to quite a lurid tale indeed. The numbers racket, drug addiction and prostitution all figure prominently in the scheme of things. Mike gets to beat some guys up and takes a couple of beatings himself. (The next day there's nary a scratch on his baby face, natch!) In the end Hammer pumps that slug into the gut of the rotten stinkin' murderer, just like he said he would. The movie ends with Mike calling the police to report his act of murder while you run to the shower to wash this movie off of you! Charlie Chan and Mike Hammer inhabit two separate universes. In Charlie's world most people are basically honest and decent while Charlie himself is a tower of virtue. In Charlie's world criminals are and aberration. In Hammer's world most people are treacherous scoundrels and Hammer is none too clean and pure himself. In Hammer's world good guys, like his murdered buddy, who spent his days trying to help others, get gunned down in cold blood by the scum that they're forced to share the planet with. Both universes are laughable cartoons of reality, but that's where the fun comes from.

Quite a surprise, this one, based on the Mickey Spillane book, done very much in the film noir style and shot in 3-D! Actually watching this flat it is only the opening with the dying man crawling towards the camera with his hand reaching forward that I was aware of the 3-D origins and we are swiftly on to an absorbing thriller. Not as tough and sexy as the book but a really decent effort with some super shadowy location filming. Biff Elliot, of whom I had never heard, is fine in the lead, if not sensational but the crackling dialogue and constant action keep things moving along nicely while Peggie Castle is great as the femme fatale. Low budget and maybe nothing too special but tight and bold. Very likable.

I got the chance to see this film today in a movie theater in its original 3-D glory. And WOW- not NEARLY as mediocre as you've heard. The audience LOVED it- what WAS bad dialogue is now hysterically camp. Biff Elliot (the screen's first Mike Hammer) was in attendence, full of vigor at age 80. A charming man, some wonderful anecdotes about his Hollywood experiences, but in his first film, he doesn't cut it. However, the supporting cast is wonderful- Peggy Castle is not only beautiful, but does a wonderful film noir dame. And my almost-Mother-In-Law Margaret Sheridan turns in outstanding support as Mike's secretary Velda...sexy & wise-crackingly smart(she retired in the early 60's to be a housewife and mother to two daughters- unfortunately, she passed away from cancer in 1981). A lot of "B" stars show up, like Elisha Cook Jr. and Joe Besser(the great tie-in to Joe was the 3-D Three Stooges short PARDON MY BACKFIRE which was also shown). And, as for the 3-D, it was rarely shown in that format, and the print shown was definately worn by time, but while there was no mandatory "throw it in your face" shots, the 3-D emminently added to the film's mood, with some wonderful photography, especially in L.A.'s Bradbury Building. I will definately check this one out again, albeit in it's "flat" version!