Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

Too much of everything

While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

Wonderfully acted, great dialog, great cinematography, great soundtrack. This movie was a most pleasant surprise. Give it 15 min and if it hasn't pulled you in then the movie just isn't for you. I honestly can't believe why anyone would give this movie less than a 7 but who knows. The movie is honest, the dialog is not laughable as one reviewer mentioned. "I tried to drown the monsters in my head but they learned to swim," the main character says about his struggles with alcoholism. Jake Busey is great in this film. I have seen him in various movies over the years and he is perfect for this movie. One of the best movies to come out of 2012 regardless of financial success.

Those who saw 'Witness' (I didn't) may recall Lukas Haas, its child star. Well, now he's grown up and in 'Crazy Eyes' plays a millionaire alcoholic drug-addict who spends his days trying to convince the titular prostitute to have sex with him (given his awful beardy thing it's no wonder she keeps turning him down). The film is okay, but can't seem to decide if it's a serious work or a comedy: hangovers seem to be played for laughs, but family scenes that demonstrate how much Haas' character is ignoring his responsibilities are drama. There's a child actor in this film, too, but unless he gets his adenoids sorted out he's unlikely to follow in Haas' adult footsteps.

. . . and why isn't any of the alleged $10 million budget shown on screen? I could see that the part where Rebecca totals her junker car on a fountain or something might cost a few hundred bucks to stage, but the TV career actors who "grace" CRAZY EYES just seem to be picking up paychecks, as nothing really heartfelt is conveyed. The plot of this flick leads absolutely nowhere, and there is not one character who earns even the tiniest smidgen of empathy. When one finally croaks, the viewer only wishes that the whole story was taking place inside his head, which would have ended this miserable mess right there. No such luck. This story states that the 8 million residents of the L.A. area are entirely interchangeable in protagonist Zach's opening voice-over, and Lukas Haas as Zach does a good job of convincing those unfortunate enough to watch CRAZY EYES through to the close that "Zach" was right: no guy alive in Hollywood could have done a WORSE job of playing Zach as a booze-swilling womanizing loser with totally nothing to remember him by. (Tip for Haas: rent Nick Cage in LEAVING VEGAS.)

What's a "poor," aimless, alcoholic rich boy to do when he can't nail the girl he's fixated on? Keep trying.There. I just saved you 96 minutes. That's the running time of "Crazy Eyes," director Adam Sherman's take on the classic Hollywood "drunk" genre. You know, the "drinking himself to death, screwed up his family, can't find a human connection, maybe gonna get rescued" type of film.Lukas Haas plays Zach, the aforementioned drunk. Zach spends all of his time getting drunk and getting laid (usually in that order.) His money affords him the opportunity to do this. (Where did he get it? We never know.) He has the fancy house, the fancy car and the wad of cash to flash to bed anyone he wants. And he does, until he meets Rebecca (Madeline Zima.) You see, she'll sleep with him, but that's all. 'Sleep,' as in lie next to naked and pass out. No sex. Nada.Zach, as one would imagine, finds this very frustrating. He finds himself obsessed with this girl (nicknamed "Crazy Eyes," although Zima's eyes don't appear particularly 'crazy' to this reviewer) and sets about winning her over. Does this stop him from banging anything else that moves? Not really. They are a perfect match, however, as she is as much a raging alcoholic as he is. Special note should be made that "Crazy Eyes" may set the record for number of "heaving" scenes in a film. (I half expected to see "Vomit Wrangler" listed among the crew credits.)Zach's quest is complicated by family drama. He's got parents who are slightly off (the always welcome Ray Wise and Valerie Mahaffey) and an ex-wife and child to deal with (Moran Atias and an affecting Blake Garrett.) Some amusement is provided by Zach's bar tending best buddy Dan (Jake Busey, in a performance that calls to mind his father.) These vignettes do break up the monotony of Zach's repeated failed attempts at breaking down Rebecca's resistance, but not much.So where does all this lead to? Pretty much where you expect. And that's the problem. Grounded in solid performances by Haas and the supporting cast (but not by the erratic Zima,) "Crazy Eyes" tells a story told before and better. The dialogue veers into the laughable at points, and by the end of the film you're left with an overwhelming sense of "meh." What was the point? www.worstshowontheweb.com