Touches You

I'll tell you why so serious

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

I know everyone on this site hates this movie and I can completely understand why. With that being said I actually found this movie extremely entertaining in it's; so bad it's good category. Good old Stan loves creating superheroes and with his POW Entertainment company, Stan is taking his newer comic creations and bringing them to life via live action or through animation. The plot for this film is as cliché as it gets but if you are as big of a Stan Lee fan as I am, you won't care. Lightspeed lights up the screen with heroics, fighting against the Evil Python. Fans of Lees work will find this movie entertaining because it's so bad it's good.

I am honestly not certain if I have ever seen a movie worse than this in my entire life - ever. It almost physically hurt my brain to force it to continue to the end. I imagine the only way Stan had anything to do with this is that somebody said to him, "Hey, Stan. Can we make a movie out of this vague character idea? You just have to pay for it", and Stan replied, "Oh, yeah, that looks okay. Sure, do it", and never had anything else to do with it. The way he gets the powers is awful. The way he gets his suit is awful. The way he uses his powers is awful. The acting, all around, is awful. Good grief, man, even the soundtrack is awful. The whole thing is just...yeah, awful. Even remembering having watched this film a few years ago is bringing on some PTS. If you have already watched this, I am so, so sorry.

Sean Connery's son Jason has an even worse track record for picking good movies. He stars as the eponymous protagonist in "Today You Die" director Don E. FauntLeRoy's execrable superhero saga "Stan Lee's Lightspeed" with Lee Majors and Nicole Eggert. Stan Lee must have collected a good paycheck for the Sci-Fi Channel to plaster his name all over this tedious tripe about a super hero who resembles the D.C. Comic's hero "The Flash" as well as Marvel Comic's "Quicksilver." This shoddy, shoe-string budget, made-for-cable actioneer is short on thrills and chills, and scenarist John Gray's screenplay regurgitates the same dull dialogue that you've heard ten-thousand times. Indeed, the cast could have done this lame, larger-than-life epic without rehearsing because they've used the same dialogue in so many films. Apparently, lenser/helmer Don E. FauntLeRoy took a break from directing Steven Seagal thrillers so that he could pick up a quick paycheck. He made this predictable potboiler between "Mercenary for Justice" and "Urban Justice." Jason Connery of "Casablanca Express" stars as the hero, Daniel Leight, a member of an elite government group called "Ghost Squad" headed up by Tanner (Lee Majors of "The Six-Million Dollar Man") that hunts down terrorists. When these heavily-armed guys hit the road, they cruise around in big, black, SUVs. Another member of the team is a pretty little thing named Beth (Nicole Eggert) who keeps her clothes on this time unlike she did in her television series "Baywatch" where she played Summer Quinn. Mind you, poor Nicole is around primarily to serve as a hostage later on for the villain to hold because he hates the hero.Daniel has a close scientist friend, Edward (Daniel Goddard), who has been laboring long and hard in his laboratory to use snake DNA to help regenerate skin for burn victims. A tragic car crash burned his girlfriend from head to toe and looks like the mummy in bandages at the hospital. Typically, as it is with these comic book style scientists, Edward uses himself as a guinea pig in his own experiments. When Daniel learns from Senator Paul Davis (James Jamison) that Congress is going to pull the plug on Edward's research, he pleads to let Davis allow him to break the bad news to Daniel. Daniel is so consumed with his research that he takes the news in the worse way possible and blames everybody when the government suits show up to wrap yellow DO NOT CROSS tape around his building. Edward refuses to take no for an answer. He breaks into his own building, destroys everything and in the process he turns himself into the reptilian Python who wears a hooded cloaked not unlike Dr. Doom from the "Fantastic Four" films. You can tell that the venerable Stan Lee plagiarized himself for his larger-than-life characters here, but they end up looking like caricatures of anything that he created in his prime at Marvel Comics. On the other hand, some Marvel Comics enthusiasts might cite Spider-Man's nemesis, The Lizard, as the model for Edward as Python. The Lizard been scrutinizing the regenerative properties of lizards as a cure for the loss of a limb. Anyway, Daniel turns up in the building at the same time that Edward destroys it and fights the villain who is covered in snake skin and likes to hiss. Meanwhile, the Ghost Squad arrives on the scene and pulls Daniel out of the rubble. Indeed, Daniel appears done for until Dr. Finlay (Michael Flynn of "Con Express") gets his medical mitts on him and replaces his crushed legs with titanium substitutes. Nevertheless, Daniel's chances of survival much less his future with the Ghost Squad looks in dire jeopardy. The fiendish Python tries to finish off our hero at the hospital when he gives him a super dose of radiation. Hmn, sounds like "Hulk?" Miraculously, the radiation doesn't kill Daniel. It helps him recover. As it turns out, Daniel can race around like nobody's business and so he takes the name of Lightspeed. Initially, Dr. Finlay is puzzled by those mysterious burns on Daniel's face. He believes that it is the side effects of the radiation. Daniel knows better and the next time he goes to an athletic store and has a stoner make up a suit of existing material that will protect him when he hauls ass around in an effort to save lives and stop the malignant Python from realizing his aims. Ultimately, the Python concocts a plan to blow Washington, D.C. to kingdom come that he calls 'Operation Firesky' as revenge for those dastards that cut his funding. Jason Connery lacks the charisma of his famous father and he brings nothing to the role of "Lightspeed." Moreover, he looks absolutely ridiculous as the hero in a blue suit racing around with bad special effects that provide little help. Daniel Goddard is only marginally better as the hopelessly misguided villain. Lee Majors delivers his lines without bumping into any walls and it takes the surprise finale to realize why he plays everything so straight. Nicole Eggert adds nothing to his farce. Save yourself 88 minutes of shame and pain and skip "Lightspeed." Although he served as one of the producers, Stan Lee must have realized when he saw the final product that a cameo was out of the question.

I was interested in this movie because it had one of my fav actors..(Lee Majors) and was hopeful that it might be good. Well, within the first 5 minutes of the show, I knew that it was going to be total garbage. I still sat there watching it though, just soaking in the bad special affects, bad acting, horrible plot, and the cheesy sets. I myself having spent several years in the military, and associating with government types over the years, I have never, never, met a gorgeous woman in a special ops unit, special forces unit, or one that is on a crack commando team, that was one of the warning flags flying during this movie. This movie is not even worthy of a Razzy award it is so bad. The sci-fi channel...or should I call it the SG-1 channel..(because that seems like the only show it wants to play now), should be ashamed. Bring back the Invisible Man show!!!! Invest in some more quality shows again! Nuff' said.