A Brilliant Conflict

n my opinion it was a great movie with some interesting elements, even though having some plot holes and the ending probably was just too messy and crammed together, but still fun to watch and not your casual movie that is similar to all other ones.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

Michael Gold, mercenary on behalf of the CIA, gets the assignment to arrest a scientist by the name of Prof. Braun, because Braun is going to develop a laser weapon with unimaginable destructive potential. The KGB is also interested in Brauns invention, so a wild chase after the professor is set in motion. "Laser Mission" uses plot and action elements reminiscent of the stereotypical Euro-Spy films of the 60s, in which dashing Bond imitators are rushing after some technical gadgets or secret formulas to prevent the "other side" from getting their hands on it. The only problem is that "Laser Mission", unfortunately, is a lot more boring than most of the colorful but somewhat naïve spy adventures from the heyday of European epigonic cinema. The absurd plot of the film, "refurbished" with some goofy humor, the inept actors and the clumsy amateurish action sequences become more and more annoying. The almost permanently used, unbearable song "Mercenary Man" by soft-rocker David Knopfler does not help the film either. Maybe there was not enough money to pay him for a complete score. The only bright spot in the whole dreary mumbo-jumbo is the late great German actor Werner Pochath, who plays his small part as villain "Eckhardt" with his usual intensity. Brandon Lee is running around all the time in a white undershirt and thus he is sitting in a briefing at the embassy of the USA, surrounded by blasé bureaucrats in business suits. An absurd sight.Laser Mission is an abstruse, uninvolvingly staged movie with no redeeming value. So bad that it is no longer good. In Germany the film was released in an uncut (84"45 Minutes/PAL) FSK 18 version and also sold in a cut to 79 minutes FSK 16 version.

Look at the above picture: Ernest Borgnine is IN the diamond. End of plot synopsis.This laughably and lovably inept movie is just out and out silly - so take that as a solid recommendation. One of our readers, Gap, suggested we review this movie, and we always try to listen to our followers. Brandon Lee is charming as the CIA agent/mercenary who is a master of disguise named Michael Gold. There is a 526-carat diamond at stake called the Verbeek (?) diamond which will enable whoever gets it to build a powerful laser to take over the world. Naturally many bad guys are after him as he tries to rescue Professor Braun (Borgnine) who has been kidnapped. His journey takes him from Cuba to the Namibian desert, with Braun's daughter Alissa (Monahan) in tow.There are inane action sequences involving shooting, blow-ups, guard tower falls, evil Germans, fruit cart chases and many other clichés, all done in what seems to be an unintentional cartoonish style. The "help the daughter find the kidnapped father" is a very American Ninja-style plot, and Ernest Borgnine's accent comes and goes. The unnamed song, which repeats many times throughout the film (plus all the nonsensical goofiness) reminded us of White Fire. The song is musically very reminiscent of "There's No Easy Way Out" and the singer sounds drunk. Apparently it was done by David Knopfler, and his husky, amazingly slurred singing makes Bob Dylan seem like someone with perfect diction.Laser Mission was done in the golden year of 1989. It was directed by BJ Davis, who has a long history in the stunt world. It has since fallen into the public domain and thus can be found in gas stations all over the world for about a dollar. If you see it, we strongly suggest you pick it up, as it is well worth that meager investment. Sure, the quality is blurry (even the SOUND is blurry) but it will provide entertainment and laughs. And isn't that what movies are all about? Laser Mission is a silly great time. We'd love to find more movies like this.for more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Let me just say this is by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Brandon, buddy, what the H-E-Double hockey sticks were you doing in this piece of trash!? Don't get me wrong. I'm one of those guys who loves the worst kind of movies, but this one is just too much. I watched this hoping for a combination of the misty classics Warrior of the Lost World and Space Mutiny, but instead got a combination of a bad James Bond, a silly episode of MacGyver, and experiencing a root canal without Novocain. There isn't a single character that isn't nail bitingly irritating, and any hint of a plot is completely absent. Unless you're a die hard Brandon Lee fan, or you're some kind of film masochist, avoid at all costs.

Brandon Lee actually made it to superstardom? Me thinks perhaps the only reason is that he was killed during the Crow. Laser Mission all but proves that there is no talent. Everybody in previous posts are raving about Lee's wit and one-liners - me I played "what stupid thing is the writer going to have Lee say next", and watch Lee blow any sense of timing, delivery, or style. Like Spiderman with a concussion he blows perfect chances to hit lame oneliners and they plop out like a lead fart. Saying that I actually liked the Boris and Natasha knockoffs who were supposed to be some Cuban/Russian/African soldiers of fortune, and really wished there were more shots of them.Unfortunately Lee was not the only rotten part of the movie. Borgnine must have had sunstroke to sign on, and Monihan - though giving us a couple nice shots of her flesh covered pasties, and her on again off again bra, couldn't act her way out of a tele-evangelists healing stage. And isn't Lee supposed to have been some sort of Kung Fu master? The martial arts in this flop consisted of synchronized falling down and explosions in the distance.The ending supposedly tied everything together after killing the psychotic bad guy about a jillion times. He deserved it for uncuffing Lee, me I would have placed a slug between Lee's eyes the first chance I got and saved the world the last 30 minutes of this flop.My suggestion - stick with watching Daddy Lee, and let Brandon's movies grow mildew in the dungeon's of the rankings.