The Worst Film Ever

SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Has there ever been a film in which you want the villain to win? Did you ever want to see the Wicked Witch of the West get her hands on those ruby slippers and shove Dorothy inside the crystal ball so she would be forced to watch the witch tap dance for eternity? Did you want the Baroness in "The Sound of Music" to throw Maria back to the convent and marry Captain Von Trapp? Well, put yourself through nearly two hours of torture with this second film version of the 1903 Victor Herbert operetta and see if you can escape it without hoping that Barnaby wins, forcing Annette Funnicello's Mary to marry him, then teach her some acting lessons before realizing his mistake and sending her back to Tommy Sands.Decently made in 1934 by MGM, this color version of the operetta is about as fun as a dental visit. Overly sweet and gooey, this is as nauseatingly irritating as Disney films could get. Even in their later musicals, there was an adult element that older audiences could enjoy, and by modern standards, I don't even think pre-teens could get into this film without praying for a dental emergency to take them away from it. From the moment that Mother Goose comes out with her introduction, you want to see her plucked, stuffed and cooked, and with one of the most obnoxious production numbers to open a musical, if your kids don't look at you and say, "What is this crap?", they deserve all the sweets they can handle to try and get through the rest of it.While there are some magical moments ("The Forest of No Return", "March of the Wooden Soldiers"), they are few and far between and surrounded in molasses and honey that can make the most innocent of movie viewers cringe. Henry Calvin and Gene Sheldon are a poor imitation of Laurel and Hardy, their comic relief dated vaudeville schtick, even by 1960's standards, especially with the banal "Slowly He Sank To The Bottom of the Sea". Ed Wynn does provide some amusement as the toymaker, but it is Ray Bolger's mustache twirling "Snidely Whiplash" style villain that seems to be having the most fun. Bolger shows off his dancing talents which were still energetic more than 20 years after "The Wizard of Oz", giving spark to "Castle in Spain". A young Ann Jillian is a vibrant force as Bo Peep, but I much prefer her in sultry roles like Mae West."Babes in Toyland" does not seem like the type of show that can be revived, and even by 1960's standards, it seems that 50+ year old songs like "I Can't Do The Sum" and "Go To Sleep" were best left in the old trunks of old songs that express one era but are better left unexpressed in others. Sometimes the overly cuteness of Disney films just seemed out of step with the turbulent 1960's even if they were also delivering a lot of magic to children of that era like me with classics like "Mary Poppins" and "Bedknobs and Broomsticks".

I grew up with the Disney "magic window" version of the album, and while I knew it was based on a movie, I never saw it till a friend brought it over on a lark last night. I loved the album as a child, but as the movie started, I realized the album featured re-recordings (probably to save money paying for Annette and Tommy). Well, the studio singers were BETTER than the performers in the film.This is a movie trying to figure out what to be... it felt like the practice session full of mistakes that they then corrected by the time Mary Poppins came around. Instead of Dick Van Dyke dancing with the penguins, you get Ray Bolger plodding through an overlong Pasodoble with a crudely fashioned flower fountain. Part teen romance beach blanket movie, part vaudeville slapstick, part fantasy, with none of the parts interfacing well.Don't get me wrong, I still found the emotional attachment I had to the music, got teary hearing the songs again, and seeing the characters that the album illustrations were based on, but I also could view the film with an adult critical eye and see that it was a mess.One thing that always perplexes me is that almost all the reviews for this film mention that it is excellent family fare. Of course, no violence or swearing , but the gender stereotyping is so extreme (even for Disney), that my 11 year old daughter was in shock.-Mary, who is done up in corsets through the whole film- 1) sings a song about how incompetent she is at math and finances. 2) is crooned to that she is "just a toy" by her fiancé, who then ties a ribbon around her and pulls her around ("oh look, now she's on a leash" my daughter laughed) 3) cringes behind a table during a "fight to the death" between miniaturized Tom and Barnaby, when she is the only full sized person in the room, and could have easily flicked the villain away with a finger. (Yes, I know that would destroy the tension of the climax, but they make such a ridiculous show of her terror that it bears mention.) 4) meanwhile, on the production line in the toymaker's factory, the boys only touch the cars and the girls only touch the dolls.Really people, are these the messages you want planted in the heads of your 4 year old daughters? We know this stuff is old and campy, but your little girls don't.The Laurel and Hardy wannabes are blatant and inferior. Almost as if the casting agent went out of their way to keep reminding you how much better Stan and Ollie are.Ed Wynne is fabulous as the toymaker, and his scenes, especially stalling during the wedding ceremony, are the highlight of the film. The sets and costumes are cheesy but lush and colorful, the dance and musical numbers are fairly standard for the time, and the bits of Victor Herbert that managed to survive provide some lovely lilting melodies, but overall, this film is a bit of a train wreck.

It's a 1960s Disney Musical, I should not have to say more than this about the movie.It's great for kids, unfortunately.I remember seeing it, and liking it as a kid - and got it for my 3 yr old daughter.My wife hates me for it. Not that the movie is that horrible - but my daughter is in love with Tommy Sands and wants to watch this movie every night.My wife even took my daughter to the library and checked out kids movies - she was excited until she got home, and just said she wanted to watch Tom and Mary (The names of the main actors in the movie) If you have little kids - they'll love it. You might even enjoy it some yourself - until it's overplayed.

You know, this is one of those grossly underrated, wonderful treasures of a movie. It's rather simple, with the fanciest effects being the movement of the toy soldiers, which was ahead of its time, but it's a true case of simple is beautiful. It's a fantastic movie for those who just wish to sit back, and laugh with the family, and have an adventure in fantasy land. The play is still being put on around the world, and this, to me, is just the best captured version. There's really something for everyone - Ray Bolger ( who looked really spectacular, very handsome in his role as Barnaby), Annette (who is always charming for being the sweetheart we all know), Tommy Sands as the daring hero, and the team of Henrey Calvin and Gene Sheldon, along with the forever amusing Ed Wynn. This movie turns out more of a comedy, and the adventures that encompass Mary and Tom Piper, when crossed by Barnaby, double crossed by Gonzorgo and Rodrigo are hilarious. This is primarily a Christmas movie, but it's set so you can watch it anytime of the year - and so you should! I still cannot get over Ray bolger as a villian....he does a lovely job, and looks terrific, but if you only know him as the scarecrow, you'll especially need to see this! He makes the statement relavent that he is very, very, very versatile, and one of our greatest entertainment treasures.