I wanted to but couldn't!

A Disappointing Continuation

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

1998. World War III has reduced the planet into a dangerous wasteland complete with acid rain. Five army deserters seek refuge in an abandoned laboratory complex. Naturally, the place turns out to be the stalking grounds for both lethal mutated rats and a huge'n'savage subhuman beast. Man, does this wonderfully wretched junk possess all the right stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: The ham-fisted (non)direction by David DeCouteau (who also co-wrote the dire and hopelessly derivative script with Buford Hauser), the lousy acting, the tacky gore (one guy pukes what looks like motor oil in a mess hall scene that's directly lifted from ALIEN), the endless shots of folks running up and down corridors, the glaring lapses in logic (a post-nuke world which still has functioning computers and showers with clean water in it!), and a seriously lame "it ain't over yet!" final freeze frame all provide a wealth of unintentional belly laughs. Moreover, the cut-rate (far from) special effects are a complete cheesy riot: The hilariously hokey and unconvincing over-sized stuffed rats, some poor schmoe in an obvious rubbery monster suit, and a hysterically pathetic mutant puppet baby are all sidesplitting sorry sights to behold. Richard L. Hawkins as inept squad leader Jake makes for a laughably wimpy and ineffectual would-be hero. As a yummy plus, the ever-luscious Linnea Quigley once again bares her beautifully bountiful breasts and takes a steamy shower. Thomas L. Calloway's dingy cinematography and Guy Moon's redundantly bouncy score are both perfectly putrid. A real cruddy hoot and a half.

Set in the post-apocalyptic near future of 1998 (this is an 80s flick, remember), Creepozoids sees a group of army deserters breaking into a heavily fortified building (well, the door was locked, anyway) in order to shelter from an acid-rain storm. This turns out to be a bad idea, for the place not only turns out to be home to giant killer rats, but also a biological experiment gone wrong: a virus designed to replace amino acids causes the soldiers to mutate and die if they eat, but worse still, there's a six foot rubber monster on the loose and it ain't very friendly.Directed by B-movie hack David DeCoteau, and starring Linnea Quigley, the quintessential 80s scream queen (plus a pre-hardcore Ashlyn Gere, here credited as Kim McKamy), this film is a very cheap and very trashy Alien rip-off that manages to be vaguely entertaining thanks to its sheer awfulness: marvel at Quigley's nipple enhancing vest and her uncanny ability to locate a working shower, even in an end-of-the-world scenario; be totally surprised when Gere DOESN'T remove her top; spot the major goof as one character reads a computer journal out loud, but his words fail to match those displayed on the screen; laugh as the cast wrestle with unconvincing, over-sized stuffed rodents; be amazed as DeCoteau foolishly attempts to recreate Ridley Scott's shocking mess-room scene from Alien; and wonder WTF is going on as a mutant baby erupts from the creature and proceeds to attack the sole survivor.

Zero budget creature feature from director David DeCoteau about a small band of soldiers, deserting a war that is sweeping across the world concerning nuclear activity that has left many dead or dying, along with serious acid rain and general misery due to a lack of human necessities(..such as food and clean water), finding an underground research bunker housing a slimy monster which could be an actual human whose physiology has reacted negatively to a genetic experiment concerning amino acids(..which work to make humans self sufficient nutritionally, not having to depend on food to live).Laughable effects plague this little sci-fi monster movie, including a large puppet rat and this sharp-teethed killer baby fetus(..both which go right for the jugular) which births itself from it's giant creature mother! The grisly effects of what happens to humans who unfortunately ingest the black oily substance(..a type of blood, I assume) contained within the monster highlight the gory specialties of the filmmakers involved, more impressive than the creature itself which is essentially another rubber-suited stuntman. The monster suit looks like a giant bug or something with fangs and crab-like claws which open and shut when the fiend extends it's mouth. The film is pretty much over at the 60 minute mark but DeCoteau and company decide to bring out the damned fetus, with no turning back. Linnea Quigley gets star treatment in CREEPOZOIDS, headlining the cast..and not fifteen minutes in, she's baring those wonderful tits and that fantastic body in a shower sequence with her buff lover, Butch(Ken Abraham). Richard L Hawkins(..who is really the star, to tell the truth) is the leader, Jake, who has to contend with both the giant monster and it's baby at the end. Michael Aranda is rewarded the show-stopping "ALIEN John Hurt dinner death" sequence, as the team's computer geek, Jesse, whose body reacts destructively to food(..he encountered the monster who forced that black blood inside of him). Ashlyn Gere is Kate, the other tough broad on the team who is in love with Jake and suffers an ugly facial reaction after the mutant rat tears into her throat, causing her to violently attack Quigley's Bianca. The make-up effects are okay, hideous and icky reactions to the physiological attacks from within, but this is a case where budgetary restrictions doomed the filmmakers.

This is just another typically lousy and low-budgeted 80's crap movie in which mutant creatures kill and eat a bunch of characters you don't care about to begin with, anyway. The writers of this piece of junk apparently were a bit pessimistic about the near future, as the year is 1998 and the entire world is unlivable already! Due to constant nuclear warfare, acid rain falls from the sky and scientists messed up some dangerous experiments that resulted in super-intelligent monsters. In other words; welcome to the 80s, my friends! Anyway, five military deserters seek shelter in an abandoned lab and soon they face the monster as well giant fake rats. Wow, what a BAD movie! Despite being very short (about 70min.), "Creepozoids" still manages to be incredibly tedious and especially the monster baby battle at the end is way too long. The multiple attempts to make the film look like "Alien" are pathetic, the cheesy sequences with the rat couldn't be more random and the music as well as the dialogs are downright painful to listen to. I don't care if Linnea Quigley has hundred gratuitous shower scenes, this is just intolerable nonsense.