I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

The Beautician and the Beast (1997): Dir: Ken Kwapis / Cast: Fran Drescher, Timothy Dalton, Ian McNiece, Lisa Jakob, Patrick Malahide: Formula satire settling for someone who brings beauty to another. It opens with an animated dream sequence with a young Princess under a spell until a Prince kisses her awake. All is well until the first words emerge from her mouth. It is that whiny voice that startles the Prince and then startles the film's heroine awake to reality. Fran Drescher stars as a beautician mistaken for a science teacher and she is spirited to London. Timothy Dalton plays an authority figure using strict measures to gain respect. His daughter is one of her pupils but he cannot communicate with her because he ordered the arrest of her patriotic boyfriend. Recycled material by director Ken Kwapis who is given a few, but very few funny moments. Drescher is reciting her sitcom role right down to her wardrobe in a role that has been played by countless actresses with regular voices. She looks fetching in her various flashy clothes but had the screenplay had as much attention then perhaps it might not have sucked. Dalton is as stiff as a board playing another role that never seems to be interesting. Also wasting time are Ian McNiece as Drescher's adviser who obviously didn't advise her against this film. Lisa Jakob as Dalton's daughter is another case of cardboard cut-outs. The title is the most creative aspect. Score: 3 / 10

After looking at some of the scores people gave this movie I honestly didn't think it would amount to much. However, after actually watching it I found it to be surprisingly good. Fran Drescher plays "Joy Miller" who is a beautician in New York City. Timothy Dalton is "Boris Pochenko", a brutal tyrant of a small Eastern European country (Slovetzia) who has mistakenly hired Joy to teach his four children. His Prime Minister, "Leonid Kleist" (played by Patrick Malahide), insures that Boris rules with an iron fist. Joy arrives and becomes instrumental in introducing much needed change. More importantly though, she changes Boris for the better as well. Now, while this plot is extremely predictable, the comedy is anything but that as there are many surprises written into the script that are simply hilarious and I think the writer (Todd Graff) deserves a lot of credit for this. Likewise, even though Fran Drescher was nominated for a "Razzie Award" for her performance, I can honestly say that it was totally undeserved. I found her performance to be both witty and refreshing. I also liked the way she and Timothy Dalton worked so well together. The "massage scene" in particular was especially amusing. In closing, I thought this was a thoroughly enjoyable movie and well worth the time spent.

I am Timothy Dalton's self declared #1 fan - and I adore Fran Drescher. When this movie came out I looked SO forward to seeing it as it was a film that was going to allow TImothy to show everyone else how funny he can be and what a multi-dimensional actor he is. I am also a big fan of Fran Drescher! I miss seeing her more often also. She is so beautiful and such a talent - and so very good at being funny. Neither of them disappoint in this movie. They are wonderful!Life is so full of stress, sadness, loss, tragedy now, more light hearted, comedic movies like this are needed sandwiched in to take us away and be entertained in fantasyland for a while. I love action movies and horror movies (the unrealistic ones) but we need more of this type movie thrown in the mix MORE OFTEN.This is a magical, romantic-comedy, fantasy escape - ****someone made mention the country doesn't even really exist - WHO cares the country doesn't really exist??? Neither does Oz, Narnia or MiddleEarth.****THEN SOMEone was pretty critical of Timothy's accent being very bad; Timothy does nothing bad, including accents. BUT, IF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T EXIST, HOW CAN YOU KNOW THE ACCENT IS BAD??? I thought it was wonderful. Have you ever tried to make up an accent of a nonexistent country? :o)How long can Joy Miller carry off her charade, and does she keep getting out of ALL the messes she gets herself involved in or does she get caught? Some of TD'S and FD's humorous scenes ARE reminiscent of I Love Lucy, but much better and priceless. You keep wondering when is this cranky guy going to catch on to the truths surrounding him, and what in the world will he do when he does!? There are a few close calls, so to speak (that are hilarious)There is a very lovable chicken in the movie, a surprisingly fine little actor herself, very cute ~ with some adorable scenes. Trust me. Its touching, worrisome at times...and cute, I swear she gets the most precious "expressions".-With all due respect and targeting no one in particular, it seems in our world today many people have become so jaded they can't enjoy a great, light hearted hilarious romantic comedy that is CLEAN, without calling it "cheesy" or "corny". IT IS NEITHER. I choose not to believe in those concepts. People have just gotten so much more afraid to show emotion and care for each other and we need more of that and perhaps more movies like this would unconsciously encourage it.Timothy is at his usual flawless best, playing both "sides" of: the ill tempered dictator, whose ego seems large enough to have its own zip code you can't get to from here; and who thinks things are just hunky dory with "his people", but are they?; to his other self -the gorgeously handsome man,with that deep sexy voice, which is more apparent when he isn't yelling or fussing about something.(And I HAVE to say he is handsome both with mustache and sans mustache). I think the movie is written very well, and when he first starts to become- challenged by Joy Miller's lessons for HIM, and goes out amongst "his people" - well, just wait and see-its truly a priceless, clueless "moment" for him, (We get to watch him as Tim pulls the cluelessness of this guy off SO well, chest puffed up, strutting, smiling and waving as if he does it every day...) And quite a shock for "the people".Fran is terrific and gorgeous too, and I think the pairing of those two was sheer genius and they make a beautiful couple in heart, spirit, and yes,look. I know I was jealous of lucky Fran AND the "mythical couple" and it took me away to that place all women who love romantic stories love to go - where YOU are the female lead character!This is a GREAT MOVIE AND ITS NOT JUST A "CHICK FLICK" EITHER, GUYS - if you like comedy I recommend it to you also and there IS Fran. Kids will like this movie too and I feel it IS of family movie quality.

I don't care if Timothy Dalton has a shitty accent in this movie. I don't care if Fran Drescher has a nasal voice. So what that Slovetzia doesn't exist, and the bad people are dark, gloomy western stereotypes of former eastern regimes. I don't care, as long as I enjoy watching it. I totally adore this movie. It leaves me with a giggle and a big smile on my face, and movies that do that make just as much sense to me as Schindler's List, if I'm in the mood to watch that kind of movie. I love a movie, where I can put my brain on stand by and just enjoy it. I've just received the movie today, and I know, that tonight will be chips and dip night in front of the TV. Just can't wait to watch it again. A big 10 from me for the entertainment value.