A Masterpiece!

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Nurses in skimpy uniforms, a killer with a childhood trauma - and lots of blood. Should be fun, right? Fun in that old-fashioned exploitation way - gratuitous nudity, predictable scare scenes, dumb dialogue, overplayed reveals etc.There's quite a bit of sex, but there's really nothing sexy here (or otherwise smutty in an enjoyable good way). The blood and gore are just lame (digital, for the most part, and not done particularly well), with a large emphasis on spurting blood. Worst of all, the story and its telling neither conform enough to genre patterns to be really interesting to fans nor do they stand up on their own. There is no overarching plan or style here: The colors are overblown without this leading to an actual distinctive look. No character is developed enough for the viewer to care, yet the entire thing is not gonzo enough to get away on its thrills alone. There is no arch of suspense at any point. In the end, unless you are a genre completist, go google some best-of lists in the horror genre and watch something off these instead. There are certainly much better options. (If you just want cheap blood, gore and female breasts, then there are numerous Troma titles available legally on Youtube which are so much more fun than this.)

Nurse (2013)* 1/2 (out of 4)Nurse Abby Russell (Paz de la Huerta) loves her job taking care of the sick and helpless but at night she likes to lure married men into her deadly trap. You see, this nurse loves to kill married men who cheat on their wives. Back at the hospital she begins training a new nurse (Katrina Bowden) and soon a deadly attraction begins.NURSE tries very hard to be a throwback to the 1970s grindhouse pictures but it falls well short on a number of levels. Well, to be honest, the film actually plays very much like a grindhouse film from the 70s because this here is pretty bad, has a very thin plot and makes up for that by offering up a lot of nudity and gore. It seems people think if they make a movie campy that they're doing it right but in my opinion campy films, that actually work, were done by people trying to make a serious movie but failed and the end result turned into camp.The problem with NURSE is that it's way too goofy to be taken serious as a horror movie and the goofy moments just aren't all that funny in order for it to work as a spoof. The problem with NURSE is that the story is downright stupid and never really makes too much sense. I mean, she kills married men for a reason, which I get but the screenplay then gets all caught up in this deadly relationship with the other nurse. All of this just leads to a bunch of dumb scenes that really don't add up to much. Another problem is that the humor just isn't all that funny and it really comes across as silly and stupid and especially the stuff with Niecy Nash.Both de la Huerta and Bowden don't add much performance wise but I thought de la Huerta was at least charming in her own ways. Judd Nelson also appears briefly and we get some nice supporting performances but these certainly don't save the movie. NURSE features quite a bit of nudity but it's pretty much topped by the non-nudity of Bowden appearing in full shower shots where she's wearing panties or shorts....in the shower? Either way, NURSE tries hard but falls well short of being a good movie.

I'm not going to give this a vote because I just don't know how to do it. A nurse (Paz de la Huerta) insinuated herself into the life of another nurse (Katrina Bowden) in order to form a friendship that is strictly inverted in tone. Bowden cultivates a boyfriend. De la Heurta goes berserk with jealousy, screws everybody's life up, begins killing people she feel betrayed her, and winds up running madly through the hospital, stabbing bedridden patients at random, tearing out beating hearts, leaving the floor slick with gore and the walls splashed decoratively in scarlet. The last we see of her, she's reestablishing herself under another identity in Los Angeles, paving the way for a sequel.The only thing about the movie that can be said to be "good" without reservation is the abundance of female nudity, near-nudity, and simulated sex, both lesbian and heterosexual. Well, I'll throw in de la Huerta's occasional spurts of narration because they're pretty explicit.Beyond that, any rater would first have to decide whether this is an ordinary slasher movie or a comedy. Paz de la Huerta's performance as an insane, slow-spoken, seductress almost rules out any serious interpretation all by its lonesome self. It's so overdone that it's hard to convince yourself she wasn't deliberately trying to be amusing. And her looks and demeanor add to the ludic quality. She's tall and rangy, with an exceptionally pronounced behind. That figure could have come from Aubrey Beardsley.Make up has given her a raggedy black hair do, great big-assed purple lips, and shaded her eyes with white. Next to her, Bowden looks virginal and innocent to the point of stupidity. They could be Betty and Veronica, if Betty had been a dull bulb and Veronica were a Gorgon.There are too many plot holes to point out and the staging during action scenes is confusing. I mean, whether slasher or comedy, it's not well executed.I leave this judgment in the capable hands of the viewer. I couldn't let go of it myself, any more than I can help myself from at least one glance at a traffic accident.

Nurse is the tale of Abby Russell (Paz de la Huerta), a kind, caring nurse by day, but whose serious daddy issues surface during the night as she goes and hunts men who she sees as unfitting to live. A pretty basic plot for a decent slasher smut film. Nothing wrong with it. From that you can except lots of gore, lots of skin, lots of gorgeous women covered with blood.Except we get very little of any of those. The slasher stuff? Uninspired. I've seen more convincing death effects in slasher parodies. Sure, there are a couple good scenes near the end, but it lacks conviction. Like they were only going through the motions. The gorgeous women and the skin? Barely there. But that's what you get from making an R rated slasher smut film. Go all the way or go home. Stuff like this is just plain embarrassing.As a whole the film feels like its makers weren't really trying. Paz de la Huerta as the main actress seems to be having fun in most scenes, but she simply doesn't have to acting talent to convince us that she's really all that loco instead of just acting. You don't buy the character. The side characters are all either forgettable, clichéd, stereotypical or all of the above.Nurse is a smut film that tries to remain clean. And if that idea doesn't make you shiver in disgust, I don't know what will.