Sorry, this movie sucks

Please don't spend money on this.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Years ago, I watched both 'Lake Placid' and 'Anaconda' in the cinemas and, for all my sins, loved them both. Yes, I know a 'good' film when I see one and I knew both of these were definitely not good. They were cheesy B-movies that could only be considered 'good' in a 'so-bad-they're-good' kind of way. But, sometimes I'm in the mood for that sort of film, so that's okay.I seem to remember seeing a sequel to Anaconda (another snake/another jungle) and I'm pretty sure I at least heard that Lake Placid (another crocodile/another lake) had another film out of video (didn't even have DVDs in that day from what I recall!). Now, from what I read online, 'Lake Placid vs Anaconda' is the fifth film in both franchises. I guess some may think that it might be difficult to pick up the story missing 3/5 of the story. Don't worry. I don't think I missed much in the way of story.Scientists (the movie kind, therefore they're evil) are trying to do experiments on the giant anaconda snake and it gets away – right into Lake Placid. And it just so happens that there's a whole group of scantily-clad teenage girls in bikinis running around on that day. And, if you've ever seen a film before, you'll probably fill in enough of the blanks to work out what happens for the next ninety minutes.Lake Placid vs Anaconda is basically a slasher film with monsters who occasionally fight each other in between gobbling up the next cheerleader. The acting is dire (and even the presence of Robert Englund can't elevate it that much), the special effects are about the least special as they could be (seriously, I've seen Playstation 2 cut-scenes that are better than the CGI snake and crocs) and the plot is nothing you haven't seen before. The characters are pretty unlikeable – the 'nice' ones are two dimensional and underdeveloped and the 'bad' ones are even more clichéd (although the token 'mean girl' of the story was actually quite funny!).Therefore, the film is pretty forgettable. I'm writing this review trying to remember as much of it as I can before all traces of it slips from my mind completely. However, as dumb as it is, I didn't hate it. I was actually quite entertained while I saw it. I doubt I'll ever see it again. There are plenty of other monster movies out there that are better and new ones being filmed every day.

This movie is hilarious. It's a horror film and it shouldn't be hilarious but yes it is. The performances are very very bad, the special effect are the worst I have ever seen, and as for the story, is something that you have also seen many times before. The most of the scenes are awful, disgusting, moreover are predictable and with many... tits - boys will really enjoy them. I have the feeling that "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" will be continued and that is the only thing that scares me about this movie. But the silver lining is that you can have a lot of fun -because it is so bad that makes you laugh with all your heart.

I'm amazed that either of these franchises actually survived this long, and even managed to create unholy union which is far worse than any of the original titles. It knows it's bad, it revels in the awfulness. There's myriad of silly antics, you'd expect stupid bimbos and fake soldiers, you will have them in spade.Cue the freak of nature and human arrogance to harness profit even though it's downright lethal, then like Jurassic Park had done decades ago, let it loose. What follows is typical random passerby getting mauled. It plays the stereotype in incredibly shameless dose. The girls are highly plastic to ensure there are sorority babes, practically naked victims prance about obliviously for your viewing pleasure.The acting and visual are unsurprisingly bad. It's as though they use blunder footage and video game graphic from two generations ago. It's so bad, one can't help but laughing. Everyone knows, from the actors and audience, the movie is awful. Honestly, we're watching a movie titled Lake Placid vs. Anaconda here.Sadly, embracing the crappy nature doesn't make it much better. If you have low expectation of this movie, it will definitely succeed in delivering such expectation. I feel I must apologize for even mentioning Jurassic Park in this review.

Attempting to harvest local crocodile genes, the release of giant anacondas forces the town sheriff and a wildlife officer to try to hunt down the deadly creatures rampaging through the local community.Overall this one was quite the enjoyable and entertaining offering. Despite being the fifth entry in each series, the fact that this one manages to incorporate the aspects of each one is quite impressive, managing to go through the snake series with a marginal recap of what happened there and keeping the events that transpired so as not to truly forget the efforts of that franchise while keeping the location and set-up from the final crocodile effort in place so as to ensure that there's some cohesive logic between the two. This makes the meeting of the two all the more logical and enjoyable by putting them into the universe which allows for a lot of great parts here as the action between the two creatures brings in a lot of fun. The opening attempt to conduct their experiments that results in the creatures getting loose is quite fun with the croc getting loose and forcing a host of defensive tactics to free itself, the baby crocs get a really nice scene where they stalk and attack a poacher in the forest, the initial assault on the sorority initiation is quite impressive as the attack on the wake-boarder leads to the boat attack and subsequent massacre on the beach at the same time, the chase through the woods and finally the attempts to flee in their cars results in some really enjoyable and exciting suspense scenes with the attempts to break into the car to get at them and the chases once the girls are free makes this one quite the highlight. The nice gore and kills here certainly aren't that bad either, and the comic relief from the ineffectual deputy takes on some goofy charms here that manages to feel in tune with the rest of the film here which makes for it's positive points. There's a few small flaws here, namely the fact that the titular creatures only get one real battle here to come together, and it's barely worth mentioning with the majority of the time anyway taken up with the pleas between the two human parties both for killing and saving the animals. That's not all that impressive here and really could've given the snakes more time in the story with them barely appearing anyway as the crocs get more of the screen time, and with a few small re-writes could've removed them from the story altogether and made this a sole killer crocodile film. While the CGI again looks pretty bad and gives away both the inconsistent size and appearance of both creatures, the last flaw here is a slew of unresolved and unexplained encounters that are never picked up or explored again leading to question why a ton of time was spent on their inclusion. Still, for the most part this one was a lot of great fun.Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Language and Nudity.