Sadly Over-hyped

Pretty Good

Simple and well acted, it has tension enough to knot the stomach.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

Two law officers stumble onto a drug operation on an isolated Hawaiian island and are killed. Donna and Taryn are working for The Agency. They fly their small plane with honeymooners and a stowaway toxic snake infected with cancer infested rats. They leave the honeymooners on the deserted beach. Drug lord Seth Romero is transporting diamonds in his remote control helicopter but the girls intercept them while fighting off gun toting henchmen. The girls get help from Rowdy Abilene and Jade from the Agency as they battle Seth's goons at Edy's resort.There is no denying that this is intended to be a B-movie of guns and boobs. It has some limited charms if not taken seriously. The production is amateurish. The boobs from these Playboy models are big. The shootouts are done poorly and laughably. It's unintended comedy. The acting is slightly better than porn level. The lines are really cheesy to the point of being funny bad. I think somebody can come up with a great drinking game with this movie.

I suspect that the bulk of my review for any Andy Sidaris movie will sound something like this: big boobs... blah blah blah.... guns... blah blah blah.... great ass... shower scene... blah blah blah.... jacuzzi... blah blah blah (which will save me a fair amount of time at the keyboard, I suppose). While this all sounds well and good, I'm only two movies into my 12-film Girls, Guns and G-Strings box set, and I'm already finding Sidaris's initially promising formula of big breasted babes, bullets and bad guys extremely hard work thanks to the the uninspired scripts and pedestrian direction.Hard Ticket To Hawaii actually proves even more tedious than its predecessor Malibu Express, with a weaker plot (hard to imagine such a thing is possible, but here it is) and less sex (although, admittedly, still plenty of nudity from a bevy of hard-bodied babes); even the film's sillier scenes—a skateboarding assassin and his blow up sex-doll being shot out of the sky by a bazooka, a bad guy killed by a razor-edged frisbee, and a snake infected with toxins from cancer infested rats bursting out from a toilet bowl—are so poorly realised that they fail to make this anything but a massive B-movie bore, albeit one with great tits and ass.3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.

Hot babe government agents Donna Hamilton (luscious Dona Speir) and Taryn (adorable Hope Marie Carlton) work together to bring down Seth Romero (hammily essayed with snarly aplomb by Rodrigo Obregon), a vicious local drug kingpin who finances his nefarious operation by smuggling diamonds. Meanwhile, a large lethal snake gets loose and goes on a rampage. Writer/director Andy Sidaris makes sure that this deliciously cheesy junk delivers what it promises: oodles of tasty gratuitous female nudity, lush tropical locations, ineptly staged action set pieces (lots of stuff blows up real good during the climactic exciting raid of the bad guys' head quarters), a winningly campy sense of self-parodic humor (sample line: "Tomorrow we kick a** and take names"), a bouncy soundtrack, bumbling henchmen, and a nice smattering of bloody violence. Granted, Speir and Carlton aren't the most deft actresses on the planet, but they are both quite charming and, of course, look great in their birthday suits. The game cast have a ball with the goofy material: Ronn Moss as amiable klutzy hunk Rowdy Abilene, Harold Diamond as mighty macho man Jade, the delectable Cynthia Brimhall as classy restaurant hostess Edy Stark, Wolf Larson as dashing he-man J.J. Jackson, and ripped lady bodybuilder Lory Green as vicious torturer Rosie. Sidaris has a funny and sizable uncredited secondary part as Whitey the TV director. Howard Wexler's bright cinematography makes the most of the sunny Hawaiian scenery. Gary Stockdale's lively score does the rousing trick. A complete schlocky blast.

In this second film in Andy Sidaris's babes & bullets saga (precede by "Malibu Express" and followed by "Picasso Trigger", both slightly better films, in my mind) two DEA agents are killed on a private Hawaiin Island. Then two agents of a government agency stumble on a dastardly plot involving diamonds, a killer snake, and remote controlled helicopters.When not fighting for their lives with the bed guys, they enjoy being topless in the Jacuzzi. Highlights include the blowing up of a plastic doll, and of course whenever Dona Speir sheds her top. Lowlights include the lamest snake "effect" I've ever seen and whenever Dona is off-screen. Fun for a drunken night with friends. Eye Candy: Cynthia Brimhall; Hope Marie Carlton; Patty Duffek; and Dona Speir all get topless multiple timesMy Grade: C-DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantary; 37 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Sndy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)Easter Egg: For 15 seconds of Julie Strain completely nude, From the main menu, highlight the "Bonus Features" & press right