I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Simply Perfect

hyped garbage

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

Private Resort (1985)Plot In A Paragraph: Two lusty teenagers (Rob Marrow and Depp) become guests at a hotel in Key Largo in the pursuit of women, but get caught up with a jewel thief. There are a few semi famous faces alongside Johnny Depp in the shape of Hector Elizondo (Beverly Hills Cop 3) and Leslie Easterbrook (Police Academy). And what a shape Easterbrook casts. Every inch of the woman is on display. Which she was allegedly furious about, saying you were not meant to see that much and the producers and director lied to her.There is not much to enjoy here. Although I'm sure the females enjoyed a naked Depp, as much as the men will have enjoyed how much of Easterbrook they got to see. Especially if they watched this post Police Academy.The movie tanked grossing only $331, 816.A 4/10 with an extra point being awarded for Leslie Easterbrook.

Reports I've come across indicate that the major players of "Private Resort" are today very embarrassed by the movie - Hector Elizondo, for one, once called it the very worst movie of his career. It doesn't take long upon watching the movie to figure out why Elizondo, Johnny Depp, and Rob Morrow have disowned the results. True, the movie has a lot of nudity (though strangely, no on screen sex), but the stuff around that material is all but unwatchable. It isn't just that the comedy is executed in an especially bad manner, but also how painfully predictable it is; you'll be able to guess most of the gags before they unfold in front of you. There are also some touches here and there that many would consider to be racist or homophobic. Apparently Tri-Star Pictures knew they had a turkey on their hands, since the movie was obviously chopped up in the editing room (the short running time is one clue of this), but also by barely releasing the end product to theaters. Even if for some reason you have a hankering for an 80s youth sex comedy, avoid it, even as a last resort.

It isn't every day you can watch Andrew "Dice" Clay slap around Johnny Depp in a movie. Or see Blanche from the Grease movies down a whole bottle of Quaaludes. Or see Hector Elizondo running around with a reverse Mohawk.... the list goes on. But these are just some of the things you'll see in this very enjoyable comedy from a bye gone era of film-making. Private Resort has a plot so minimal that one really would be hard pressed to describe it. I guess you could say that it is about two young men (Depp & Morrow) who visit a posh oceanside resort hoping to meet girls. They meet several, and along the way they get mixed up with an evil jewel thief played by Hector Elizondo. The action is played out in a series of chase scenes through the hotel, attempted hook-ups, and even a shootout at the end. Roll credits.Private Resort scores on many fronts. First of all, this film knows it's a sex comedy. So it also knows that in order for the audience to get their money's worth, there has to be a lot of nudity. And this film does not disappoint in that department. Even the guys get naked! You bet! Johnny Depp is fully nude at one point. We only see his backside, but I'll bet his female (and some male) fans will be totally satisfied. It appears this film was made before he started getting all of those tattoos. I didn't notice one on him. The film relies on physical comedy or "slapstick" for most of the laughs. The script has few memorable lines, but it really doesn't need them to get the point across. That poor guy who plays the head of hotel security continually gets the crap beat out of him as the action unfolds. So does Elizondo.Depp is appealing in one of his earliest roles. I doubt that he was asked many questions about it when he went Inside the Actor's Studio, however. Maybe Depp looks back on this film and smiles as he remembers a more simple time in his life. Who knows? Morrow as the more shy one of the two main characters is also very likable. It's good to see he still works, too. Andrew Clay is featured, and this is before he became known as the "Diceman". He is shirtless on one scene, and he appears to have more hair on his shoulders than on his entire back! Really, there isn't much more one can say about this film. It hits all the notes it intended to hit. The cast takes juvenile material and makes the most of it. Elizondo in particular stands out. You can even sense a few ad-libs he may have thrown in in some scenes that add to the fun. Also, there is a welcomed appearance by the large-chested policewoman from the Police Academy movies. The film hasn't even aged all that badly, except for the obvious changes in female swimwear. But, since most of the women in the film end up naked in their scenes, it really doesn't matter what they're wearing, does it? 6 of 10 stars.It was fun when I was in 8th grade, and it still is today!!! The Hound.

If you're looking for a serious film, or an engaging storyline, this is not it. But if you're looking for a bit of daft fun, or want to chuckle at the young Depp in one of his earliest films, then it's worth a watch.It's packed with cheap laughs, slapstick and crude humour. A bit of light-hearted fun that kept me entertained, even if it was somewhat predictable. Comedy chases around the hotel, 2 guys chasing every visible bit of skirt and landing in hot water every time and baddies getting their comeuppance. That about sums it up.It's not a 'bad' film by any means, just a bit of 80's cheese that needs to be taken in the manner intended.