Wonderful Movie

Good concept, poorly executed.

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

An Exercise In Nonsense

This is another storage unit horror story, (Storage, Self Storage, Blood Shed, Storage 24, The 13th Unit). Ella (Mischa Barton) with the help of a friend (Emily Atack) finds her way into a self storage unit belonging to her fiancée. Oh yes it is near closing time as usual and they only have a few minutes and no cell phone reception. The following is generic plot spoilers for this and all the films mentioned:Wrong Unit...Check.Something deadly in unit...checkOther people there also including someone who lives in one of the units...checkClosing time and lock down prevent their leaving....checkIf I recall my high school biology, if you staple a person's mouth shut, life expectancy can not be too long.I watched the film and felt like I have seen it at least a half dozen times before, thinking it had been released previously under a different title. I didn't see this film being done any better than the other two star productions...except for maybe that one with Eric Roberts. Been there. Done that.Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

There was a time when Mischa Barton was thought to be the next up and coming starlet in Hollywood.Those days are far behind and in recent years she's been stuck with being something of scream-queen in low-budget direct to DVD horrors, but the prolem is that for a scream-queen she barely screams heck she barely reacts.I am unsure why she's constantly cast but then I suppose most people would have had the common sense that when they read the script to this movie they would realised that it would suck there and then, but I suppose that is why she doesn't really bother she knows it wouldn't help and I suppose a paycheck is a paycheck after all.And I suppose she is no worse than the rest of the cast in this movie, Robert Knepper who was brilliant in Prison Break feels like he's sleep-walking through the movie, better yet sleep-acting.If you want something that's sort of reminiscent with this (except 5 times better) 'Creep (2004)' with Franka Potente is a good choice.If you want something where Misca Barton is actually good then 'The Assassination of a High School President (2008)' is a good choice.

I thought this could've been something scary. There actually were some 10 minutes where I was quite scared, but after that first moments of suspense, the rest got too generic and predictable. I did watch it through to the end, although I was tempted to quit more than once.The storyline is pretty old and I bet you've already seen it in a few other movies yourself: A group of people are trapped in some place or another (in a cottage in the woods, on a boat, in some old castle or warehouse) - Someone or something evil is set loose group tries to escape but mysterious things prevent them form escaping instead of staying together, some girl will separate from the others and follow a creepy noise into a dark place ("hello? is there anybody out there in that creepy forest / tunnel / cave? Maybe the psychopath that killed my boyfriend / husband / friend 10 minutes ago?") another girl will try to run away, being chased, then trip over nothing, and stay there screaming while "the evil" hunts her down etc. You know those ingredients - you've seen them often before.The only thing new here to me was the setting in an underground self-storage, which I thought had some original ideas that served those few scary moments.I feel kind of sorry for the director. It feels like this is the desperate (but futile) attempt to fulfill his lifelong childhood dream of producing a super scary blockbuster. In a "i can do it" and "nobody can stop me" brute force way, he tries to patch up all those holes in the illogical and inconsistent story just to quickly get to the end.If you don't watch this - you won't be missing out on anything...

We're closing in on Halloween, which means every horror director on the planet is doing everything they can to get their, more than likely, terrible film ready for release. Which also means that every bad actor and actress on the same planet, is doing what he/she has to do to land a role in one of these, more than likely terrible films (Hello, Mischa Barton.) So, we have 'The Hoarder.' About a group of strangers trapped in a storage facility. This has been done numerous times before, and never really reaches it's full potential, because every director tries to do too much with such simple material. 'Storage 24' is one of the more recent attempts, which I have yet to rate/review. Let me just say, I'd probably go with that one over 'The Hoarder.' What really hurts this film, is the characters and acting. There isn't a single likable character in the film, and each actor/actress seems to be hell bent on showing us just how terrible they really can be. I'm reading reviews about how unbelievably bad Mischa Barton has become - and the first thought that pops into my head is, when has she ever been good? Did I miss the single moment in the history of cinema, where she wasn't bad?As for the rest of the cast - Jamie Bacon goes all out trying to make a name for himself, by being the worst actor in the film, while Andrew Buckley waddles around, chasing people at a pace that is probably equivalent to a crippled man in a wheel chair. Anything this film had going for it, up until you discover the 'twist,' is erased, when you realize you're going to see more of Andrew Buckley's blubber flapping around, as he struggles to capture his next victim.Random Ramblings of a Madman: Andrew Buckley, please, for the love of Jesus Christ - do not ever run again in a film or in public. I hate being the one to tell you this, but you're fat - and you can't act.