Absolutely Fantastic

Absolutely brilliant

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

This movie is the epitome of trash.have a good day

Whether making over-the-top shoot-em-up schlock, kiddy spy spoofs or pulpy graphic-novel adaptations, it's clear that the ever ambitious Robert Rodriguez is a versatile, respected and resourceful film-maker who's both able and willing to consistently push the boundaries of a limited budget to deliver new experiences seldom-seen at that kind of rag-tag level; a successful if inconsistent director who's reached the point in his career where he has the clout (or rather, the cash) to make just about anything he wants including this bizarre glorified family-protect of his. It is hard to get angry about the chocolate-milk induced ravings of an eight-year-old boy - Rodriguez's own son was responsible for the creation and development of the titular heroes - or even the fact that his father decided to use his skills to bring them to life, considering that this is much more a bonding exercise for one man's family than something to be shared with the world. To be honest, it is competently constructed (in a very nuts and bolts kind of way) with a few semi-decent messages in there for the youngest of the crowd, but that's not to imply that this is anything other than a dreadfully dull, wholly nonsensical, wildly inconsistent, criminally ugly, jarringly intangible, hammily acted mess that was clearly written by a child with a crayon. Imagination should be encouraged in kids and their creations should be stuck to the fridge, but they shouldn't be made into a feature film. 2/10

In 2005, Robert Rodriguez' after directing the fantastic "Sin City" along Quentin Tarantino and Frank Miller, he steps down with "The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl". I know exactly where to begin on how terribly done this film is: Dialogue: I have never seen a movie where the dialogue was this bad. I mean, this movie makes the dialogue from "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" sound great! I cannot tell you how bad the words that come out of the characters' mouths were. Mr. Electricidad - "I'm the teacher and you know nothing..." OK, so what does that have to do with the small fight that happened between Max and Linus? I swear it's like George Lopez (and pretty much the rest of the actors) had no idea what they was talking about. In fact, his character, including his villain one, had some of the worst puns in the film. How bad, you might ask? Listening to the puns from "Batman and Robin" are more bearable to listen to than this. I kid you not. Max's Dad to Max's Mom - "I don't want you to go, you're my best friend..." he says that extremely laughable phrase in a monotone voice to his 'wife'. After he lets her go into the tornado, she gives out the fakest scream ever and Dad gets this "regretful" face and says "No! No, come back, please..." Yeah, really. Max's Mom to Max's Dad and then viceversa - *She comes out from the tornado with Lavagirl somehow: "I'm not going anywhere..." Despite the fact that you just said that to Dad to take care of you 'son'. Dad then says "Neither am I," to her like he was in any trouble. Like anyone said or implied he was. I don't even wanna begin to write down Cayden Boyd's dialogue because I swear if I did I'd write down about 10 paragraphs. So to sum this down, the dialogue is the worst thing this film has to offer. You're better off listening to the dialogue from "TSNM", "Ghost Rider" and "Crossroads". Cast and Acting: Taylor Lautner played his character throughout the whole movie like he had been stressed out and had a bad day. Taylor Dooley played Lavagirl so wooden that you're wondering how she didn't set herself on fire. Cayden Boyd can't act for nothing and that's a compliment. He looked and sounded like he was going to cry in the entire film. I'm not even going to begin talking on how bad of actors David Arquette, Kristin Davis and George Lopez were in this movie. Sasha Pieterse was pretty much telling us she wanted to be saved from this film, throughout the whole movie she looked forced to act. Characters: The hero of the film, Max, was useless and weak; he should have just jumped into the lava pit with Lavagirl and died. Lavagirl was some weak, pathetic excuse for a heroin who is nothing but a distraction, and the same could be said for Sharkboy. Both of them should have died. Lavagirl is an idiot who thinks has no rational thinking in her head. Really, when Max said they had to go find the ice princess, she says "She is ice and I'm fire, we MUST be enemies". Really logical thinking, right? All that Sharkboy does is be a bully to his own creator, and then insults and whine about how he doesn't have his strength because Max didn't make him the king of the ocean. The two villains were so bad that they should have married each other. They make Gargamel (Smurfs) and Prince John from "Robin Hood" (1973) look like Shan-Yu (Mulan) and Cruella de Vil (101 Dalmatians). Plot/Story: Apparently the whole point of the film is for Max to find his true purpose in the world of dreams and defeat the villains who are making the whole place a nightmare world. Like we haven't heard that formula before. You have one plot point in the film, another story element added there and then one arc added somewhere else. It's a cluster of inconsistent and incoherent plot points and stories that frankly you're wondering what the real point of the movie is. The we have how the characters travel from one point to another for certain things that later have very little to no use. I still don't even know why Taylor Lautner had to sing in the film. I'm not saying he sang badly (he was surprisingly good at it), but the way they executed the singing here was like the film was going to have some more musical numbers into it. Effects: Even back then when I first saw this film I was able to tell how bad they looked. I wouldn't be surprised if the effects in the movie were the only thing they bothered to pay attention to make right. I can compare the special effects to "Son of the Mask" and that movie had some effects itself. I didn't watch it in 3D so, I wouldn't know how bad the 3D was. Final summation, this film is so bad, it's just bad. It a mishmash between "Spy Kids", "The Wizard of Oz", "Never Ending Story" and some elements of Japanese anime (male primary teacher on charge, Sharkboy's karate techniques and a mention to sushi, the only missing thing was a gym class scene, where the P.E. teacher were female, like in Japan); in a very cheesy and laughable way. Go watch some other laughable movie that's actually bad enough to be good. Even Barney and the Teletubbies together is better than this garbage.How this movie scored over a 4% is beyond me.

This is one of, if not the worst, movies of all time. The acting is bad, the CGI and special effects are TERRIBLE TERRIBLE and the plot is TERRIBLE TERRIBLE. Many things about the movie don't even make sense, like parents are still going to send their kids to school during a tornado? I don't think so. Max lives a sad life. His dad is weird, and he lives right across from the school. Max's teacher, Mr. Electricidad, is a jerk. Mr. Electricidad makes fun of a kid's name (He called Linus a Minus)My sister said she would cry if she had that life.Sharkboy is an easily-angered child who needs meds. By the time you reach the scene where he fights the plug-in cords, you will take the DVD out. This movie is so terrible and it is super super SUPER boring. Max is constantly embarrassing himself in front of his class. He said Sharkboy and lava girl do exist and he also said to Linus "He ruined my dream journal!" Please do not watch this movie.