Dracula 3000
In the year 3000, the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. Captain Abraham Van Helsing and his crew composed of the blonde assistant Aurora Ash; the crippled navigator Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood, who believes that he is a genius; the strong and dumb Humvee; the intern Mina Murry; and the drug addicted 187, decide to claim the possession of Demeter. While exploring the spacecraft, they see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station. When 187 decides to search in the coffins for some possible hidden dope, he cuts his hand and his blood awakes Count Orlock, a.k.a. Count Dracula. When Aurora discloses who Dracula is, the survivors try to find a way to destroy the vampire.
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- Cast:
- Casper Van Dien , Erika Eleniak , Alexandra Kamp , Coolio , Grant Swanby , Langley Kirkwood , Tommy Lister Jr.
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Reviews
Best movie of this year hands down!
The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.
The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.
All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.
Holy molly maccarroni this movie is atrocious. I've seen dead bodies that are more entertaining than this. My expectations were null and even then I feel disappointed.The sets are horrible. For being in the year 3000 apparently wheelchairs have not evolved and space suits are just duct-taped. The acting is atrocious. Not even in a funny-to-watch way. Coolio tried to save this movie but no. Even the bazoongas line fell flat. It just came out of nowhere. I am confused.The plot is utterly terrible: A group of mercenaries found a space station that has been lost for half a century, which incidentally was carrying bleeping Dracula and the last direct descendant of Van Hellsing. Yeah, I just wrote that.Even the plot twists are terrible. Why is she an spy robot? Why convert a sex robot into a spy? Seriously, why? Weren't there more robots around?Avoid it like the plague.
What else can i say. I had to watch this movie 4 times in a row and then call my doctor because i had an erection lasting more than 4 hours. this is the most beautiful piece of cinematography i have ever had the joy of watching. I wept solid gold tear at the ending while simultaneously understanding the meaning of life. If you have ever had problems buying Christmas presents for friends, family, coworkers, or homeless people your problems are solved. There isn't any gift on this earth that can make them as happy as this film. listen, after all this i need to come clean about this film: it's the greatest piece of cinema you or any sentient creature will ever see. if i had one wish, it would be that everyone would watch this movie at least once and we would never have to worry about war ever again.if everyone were to see this film world hunger would be solved. As a great man once said "I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR" I would pay a dollar for every second of this film maybe even 2 dollars. TEN OUTA TEN
Picking up a strange haul, the team aboard a derelict space ship learns they've inadvertently released the vampire Count Dracula onto their crew and must try to stop the deadly creature before he takes over the entire ship.This wasn't as bad as its reputation through it does have a few problems. The biggest issue with this one is the rather cheap and cheesy feel throughout here which makes for the most troubling aspects of this. From the absolutely ridiculous equipment throughout the ship to their tactics and behavior, there's little to this that really gives off any sense of serious ambitions in this. Almost all aspects within this also showcase this feature, from the simple story and goofy action to the dialog and vampire-battle that are a part of this as this one tends to land on the goofy and cheesy quite often. That storyline factor does come into play here by being blatant about ripping off other sources from the novel as well as several other films out there so not only does this reek of being familiar with the back-story but also familiar with other films that utilize this particular setting. That does bring up the rather few flaws here in this one manages to bring up some nice imagery about traditional vampire lore into outer space with the use of the caped Gothic-styled vampire and his dress, the use of wooden stakes and finally the use of the coffins within the cargo bay as a sort of connection here to the past. Likewise, some of the action isn't' all that bad as the brawl with the vampire henchman as well as the shootout in the main hold are somewhat decent enough. Nothing, though, compares to the finale which is one of the most atrocious, ham-fisted, poorly conceived and laughable conclusions which not only undermines the whole film as well as feels entirely improvised but also seems ludicrous in concept as if it was tacked on simply to get an ending without doing anything about it. That also damages this along with the other flaws to really knock this down.Rated R: Graphic Language, Violence and intense drug use.
This film was so bad, I had to fast forward through it, hoping Erika would at least get naked. The script writers were so intellectually lazy that it was hard to stand. I like well crafted Dracula movies or even ghost ship vice treasure hunter ones, but this should not even count as being in that genre. Nothing is believable, including the opening where a bunch of guys just sit on their asses while the intern goes on the ship alone. Don't get me started on why using an old warehouse should make us think it is a spaceship or why in the year 3000, guys are still using 20th century 9mm pistols and the professor is in a wheelchair. Stupid, stupid, stupid.