In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

Blistering performances.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

RELEASED IN 2009 and directed by Marco Brambilla, "Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" is a fantasy/horror/comedy about a teen (Chris Massoglia) who is compelled to join a circus of freaks where he becomes (you guessed it) the assistant of a vampire (John C. Reilly) and learns of a war between two classes of vampires. Josh Hutcherson is on hand as his best friend while Michael Cerveris plays the mysterious Mr. Tiny. Ray Stevenson is formidable as a vampiric heavy.After the mega-hit of "Twilight" (2008), producers naturally thought that another young adult book series involving vampires might be profitable. As such, this movie is based on the opening trilogy of the 12-book series "Cirque du Freak: The Saga of Darren Shan" by Darren Shan (pen name of Darren O'Shaughnessy). It mostly focuses on the first book with uber-fans of the books complaining about deviations. In any case, the film wasn't a hit at the box office (costing $40 million and making back $39 million worldwide with $14 million of that made in North America). Regardless, I much prefer it to "Twilight."For some reason I always enjoy stories that center around life in circuses and carnivals. The excellent "Water for Elephants" (2011) is a good example. While that movie was decidedly realistic, "The Vampire's Assistant" is obviously rooted in fantasy.The first act is a low-key introduction to the two teen friends, their situation in life, and their intriguing visit to the Cirque Du Freak, which in English means The Freak Circus. The film improves in the second act with the excellent character of Larten Crepsley moving to the spotlight. Reilly is commanding and fascinating in the role. The third act is also really good, centering on the war between the vampires and the vampanese. The plot is involved enough without being too complex and the movie is impressively imaginative on practically every front.Salma Hayek stands out in the female department as one of the performers with a lame talent. But the creators don't really take advantage of her presence. In other words, don't expect anything like Salma's mind-blowing sequence in "From Dusk till Dawn" (1996). The striking Jane Krakowski is on hand, but her role is very small. Winsome Jessica Carlson plays Rebecca, a potential babe for the protagonist, I guess; she was only 15 during shooting and looks it.THE FILM RUNS 1 hour, 49 minutes and was shot in Louisiana (New Orleans, Baton Rouge and Folsom) and Los Angeles with studio work done in Universal City.GRADE: B

(Originally seen many years ago) A teenage vampire film for idiots and ignorant cinema-goers. Considering the awfulness of this film, I must say I am surprised that some people actually liked this garbage. The picture has several character's, none interesting, none developed and plenty of atrocious acting, especially Josh Hutcherson, who play's a stuck up brat. I'm guessing the vampire genre is doomed as they can't even make a non twilight vampire film these days that's watchable. Cirque Du Crap: Vampire's Assistant is an abysmal mess and one of the worst film's of 2009. 0/10

"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" is an...Interesting film. On it's own, it's actually pretty damn good. The acting, script, characters, musical score and atmosphere are all quite decent, unexpectedly so. If I hadn't read the books, this would easily get an 8 out of 10. At the same time, as an adaptation, it's an awful, AWFUL betrayal of the source material. Still, even if it IS a failed adaptation, it's still a good movie all things considered. I'd gladly take a decent movie that doesn't work as an adaptation over Young Adult Adaptation Garbage like "The Hunger Games" (Crap), "Eragon" (Even worse), "Alex Rider" (Insulting garbage) or "Percy Jackson" (One of the worst movies of all time) So, why do I have such mixed feelings on the film? Let's take a look.The character development is something of a mixed bag. Don't get me wrong, Darren Shan develops, changes and becomes a lot more mature and likable from the beginning of the movie to the end, his characters was relatable and likable and his arc was fairly interesting. The problem is that the film shoves so much development of Darren's character in such a short amount of time than you can't help but feel like it's an arc that should have spanned multiple movies. The same goes for Steve Leonard. He's a well developed and surprisingly intimidating villain, but the screenwriter squeezes that arc into such a small period of time that his story is not as compelling or emotionally investing as it should be. Hell, even Darren's Vampire Master Larten Crepsley has this same bittersweet development; where his arc is handled well and he changes in a realistic way over the course of the movie, but it feels like something that should have spanned multiple films instead of one.The story shares this problem too. There are a TON of plot and story elements contained in this movie, some handled well (Darren turning into a vampire and sacrificing his human life to save his best friend Steve from Crepsley's wrath) and others not so well (An INCREDIBLY forced romance between Darren and a Cirque member called "The Monkey Girl" because of her tail, made worse due to the fact Darren's romance with a character named Debbie in the books, who has nothing in common with The Monkey Girl, was 10x better and had WAY more chemistry) Again, the film makes the error of cramming too much stuff into a mere 109 minutes. It seems like the screenwriter was so afraid of the film never receiving any sequels that he tried to combine the plot elements of multiple books in the series together in the desperate hope of the audience getting the full Darren Shan experience.That said, there is plenty to like. All of the actors do a great job in their respective roles. Chris Massoglia did a fantastic job as Darren Shan. His naivety, awkwardness and innocence fit the character of Darren Shan perfectly, Massoglia oozes likability and dorky charm in this role. He can even be surprisingly emotional in a few scenes, like when he realizes the danger he poses to his own family once he's become a vampire. It's actually a very tragic scene, it's done so well it makes you wish the whole movie was this good. John C. Reilly as Larten Crepsley originally seemed a VERY odd casting choice, but he does a surprisingly convincing job in the role of Darren's master and mentor. He manages to make Crepsley tough, cold and often overly critical, but he's still well intentioned and does care about other people's well being.With that being said, the best performance of the bunch has got to be, no question about it, Josh Hutcherson as Steve Leonard. Hutcherson's Leonard is ruthless, merciless and intimidating as all Hell. You can just feel the hate and anger radiate off the screen from his character. While the film is merely good, and a failure of an adaptation, I really do think Hutcherson as Leonard is one of the best castings for an adaptation I have ever seen. He completely steals the show.While there are plenty of insulting things to be found in the movie to fans of the book, like the vampaneze coming off as more laughable than frightening or that GOD AWFUL CHEMISTRY DEVOID ROMANCE between The Monkey Girl (Seriously, how do you confuse a personality devoid white girl with a monkey tail working at a circus with a strong, intelligent black girl coming from a rich family?) and Darren, the film does manage to at least capture the atmosphere of the books perfectly. The sets, the costumes, the lighting, the musical score, they all do a fantastic job of capturing the Gothic, macabre feeling of the books and sucking you into the world of the movie. If anything, this LOOKS just like a "Cirque du Freak" film SHOULD look.Also, unlike adaptations like "Percy Jackson", the film's humor is actually really, really effective. It's dark, it's clever, it's unexpected, and best of all, it never feels out of place. There are some genuinely funny scenes and characters in this movie, and the film manages to make them work without sacrificing it's macabre tone.My advice would be to read the books and skip the movie entirely. But if you really, really hate reading, and just wanna see a creative, atmosphere filled, well acted vampire movie, then I guess check the film out at least on a rent. It's far better than most Young Adult Adaptations and kicks the crap out of "Percy Jackson" any day of the shark week.

Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) is a teen who loves spiders. His best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson) loves vampires. They live in a surreal preppy suburbs. One day a freak show comes to town, and the two must go see. The ringmaster is vampire Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) and he has a special spider. Steve couldn't convince Larten to convert him. But when Larten's spider bites Steve, Larten is willing to save Steve only if Darren would become a vampire's assistant.There are a lot of name actors that seems to be slumming it in tiny minor roles. It's distracting especially considering the lead Chris Massoglia is so underwhelming. While I appreciate the costumes and the style of the movie, the story moves too slowly. There are too many scenes dwelling on the minutia rather than dealing with the main story. And John C. Reilly just don't fit the vampire stereotype. He's neither dark nor brooding. There is something just not right with the freak show.