Touches You

Thanks for the memories!

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

07/30/2018 Old old storyline of a bunch of evil Billy Bob Hillbillies attacking a Lone City Girl in her Cabin in the Woods. Full of bad dialog, even worse Billy Bob acting but the viewers patience (don't turn it off) will be rewarded as this movie winds down. Sicko happy ending. Bon Appetit

I am guessing there are a lot of shills being paid to write reviews by the studio or something, it's the only explanation of why absolute and total garbage like this has a rating higher than 3.I'm a fan of horror and no prude - go ahead, shock me, exploiterize some hot wanna-be actress for my titillation, pile on the splatter, let's get down in the gutter & roll around in the filth for a couple of hours.But this... man. It did not work on any level whatsoever. I mean, come on... where's my kicks here? This is just... no. Too many problems to bother going into. Frankly this steaming mound doesn't deserve any more time spent on it. Trust me: it's a stinker.And, uh, ladies... me and the lads, when we're fishing, we don't generally sit around plotting gang rapes, but maybe we are really rare atypical men. Maybe most other guys like gang rape as much as they like fishing (but, like fishing, can't always find the time to do it, I guess). So ladies, rest easy, most of us have better things to do than hatch rape plots against you, although I assure you, you do indeed look lovely today.Sleep tight... there are MEN out there... everywhere...Evil... evil men. One day they're inventing civilization, inventing tampons, changing the tyre, changing the oil, defending you from sabretooth tigers, arresting the bad guy, killing the spider, opening the stubborn jar lid... the next day, they're carrying on like these brutes.Apologies for everything.

There are very few horror movies that have made me squirm or uncomfortable, but this, a remake who's original is just as nasty, is one of them that did. A lady who goes to a secluded cabin to write her latest novel is rudely interrupted by a trio of rednecks who viciously rape her. After she licks her wounds and heals, she sets out for revenge and gets it. In extremely graphics ways. One unfortunately redneck is castrated and then has his eyes pecked out by birds. The other two meet their end in equally horrible but justified ways. Definitely not a movie for the squeamish

I like the revenge/horror genre as much as anyone but this movie is totally forgettable. The acting and the writing are pretty bad. Every situation is foreseeable, over-exaggerated and nothing unexpected ever happens. The first part of the movie, is in my opinion the least mediocre one even though it's full of clichés, it is still watchable through and through and even somewhat entertaining with no real boring parts.However the second part, the revenge one, isn't boring either but it is where all the inconsistencies, clichés and absurd situations really start to show off. Just to list a few : It was obvious the woman was going to jump in the river and try to disappear in the muddy waters, how they just didn't see it coming is beyond me. Then she reappears somewhere between a month or a few years later (it is unclear when exactly) and starts knocking out her rapists with a baseball bat and a tire iron. This is the usual cliché you'd see in every 80's action movie : Hit a bad guy on the head to knock him out for a while... "He will -always- wake up later...".Except that in really it does rarely work like that. Chance are, if you hit someone with a baseball bat to the head, he's never gonna wake up or if you miss your swing or don't hit it the right way (which is very likely if you're a woman vs 4 big guys) he's not even gonna get knocked out. The middle ground "knock-out effect" is extremely hard to obtain consistently especially with a baseball bat and a tire iron which are gonna brake bones and leave some serious injuries or just do very little damage if the guy you're targeting starts walking towards you with his hands in guard, reducing your momentum and swing distance. This was never though of in 80's movies and still isn't, worst part is that a girl has to wield these kinds of weapon makes it even less believable... I would have believed it if she went for shooting tranquilizer darts while waiting from a safe distance, or if she'd laced their food with drugs... But this frail woman who KO's all those big guys ? Sorry, not buying it for a second.To me, the most important part of a story like that is that it has to believable. But this one, despite being watchable, just isn't.