Undescribable Perfection

Redundant and unnecessary.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

Neither the best nor the worst Punisher version, but it does evoke memories of a certain time. One when you could walk into a video store and expect mafia thugs, ninjas, and the leather-clad übermensch that stalks all of them. Lundgren's Frank Castle is largely a psychopath, but the guy's got his character moments.Part of me wished I'd seen this so many years prior, when my pre-teen self was taken by that VHS cover of Dolph in full biker gear looking mean. It's not a great action movie, but it does scratch that Cannon films itch you didn't know you had.6/10

I Love this movie, waaaaaay better than any other punisher flicks. One of the last great action movies with a body count. Everything nowadays seems so cookie cutter, this movie has it all. Within the first 30 minutes, Gang on gang violence, brutal killings, Boot knifes, Scuba Ninjas, cauterizing of a wound with a fricken Bowie knife, motorcycles in sewer tunnels, Children being kidnapped, and hit in the face, and put up for sale as slaves. I swear I could watch Dolph shoot up casinos for a week. I don't know what all the fuss is about the skull not being on his chest, I mean really!? Your trying to be stealth, not wear a big skull like "hey look at me over hear in the shadows" It makes sense really. More realistic and believable, many times throughout the movie you think the punisher will not make it. The struggle is real. Not to mention he technically isn't a "superhero" Just a mortal in that sense, no need for a silly cape and suit. And as far as how close it is to the comic book.. Stan Lee himself was the Executive Consultant of the movie so I don't know how much more of a accurate depiction of the the punisher you can ever get. *8 out of 10 stars .

Oh my god in Haiti this is like the perfect storm of Dolph, dolphins, dead bodies and Daniel-Day Lewis.Here we have a comic book character Come To Life and Leap Off The Screan.There are Ninjas. There are Nives. There are people who Explode. There is a boat.When the world spun into existence, this is the reason, the culmination of all things, this is Dolph playing The Punisher. If ever there was a reason to buy a VHS tape of a movie off a junky hobo for 2 dollars this is it. This is it.Apples/Orangines

If Marvel Comics - at the time only a feeble, fledgling studio barely breaking into major motion pictures, rather than the infallible box office juggernaut of today - could only have made one live-action feature film in the '80s, they chose wisely with the Punisher. While other major sellers could likely have been permanently laughed out of circulation by the dubious special effects or invariable camp of the decade (let's not look at the gnarlier early '90s Fantastic Four and Captain America adaptations and say we did…), the gritty, gun-crazy Frank Castle was best equipped to ride out the melodrama and mullets of the Miami Vice/Arnold Schwarzenegger era without warping his image irreparably. In fact, fitting like a glove with the excesses and clichés of '80s action cinema is what elevates 1989's The Punisher to the top of the 'terrible early Marvel films' echelon ('the best of the worst' is about as high praise as the film is every likely to get). It's biggest casualty? Feigning to take itself so seriously and distancing itself from the comic to the point of committing the unforgivable sin: leaving out the skull shirt. You had ONE job, guys. If we're being entirely honest, 1989's clunky crack at Castle is about as good a Punisher movie as we've seen to date (sorry Tom Jane and Ray Stevenson) - just more upfront about its glorious cheese. Director Mark Goldblatt is evidently well- versed in the action genre (he's credited as editor on Rambo, Commando, and later Predator 2 and Terminator 2), as he's kind enough to hit every genre cliché with the impeccable fastidiousness of a Simpsons parody, right down to cheerfully hammering exposition with Every. Single. Line ("let me tell you a story…" is the film's favourite device). But the '80s clichés don't stop with the dialogue - we also get some prime bits with grumpy, angsty cops, outspoken kids, old computers(!), and grim monologuing to God, while the film's fuzzy camera-work and droves of Australians trying their g'dang hardest to pass as 'Murricans (and failing) adds to the campy, student film calibre fun. In fact, it's really only in the action sequences where Goldblatt's Punisher rears its head beyond chuckle-worthy silliness. Here we have a smörgåsbord of villains for Castle to blow away in various ways (the mob AND the Yakuza? Excellent!), and a plethora of shootouts and throw-downs that are actually quite entertaining in their gregarious excess, including a climactic blowout in the Yakuza lair making suspenseful and even artistic (gasp!!) use of Japanese Shoji screens concealing upcoming antagonists, even if a follow-up stomp-fight with Jeroen Krabbé is…not as thrilling. Granted, I'm not convinced Goldblatt fully thinks through the moral ramifications of inciting audiences to cheer as Castle saves a bus-load of abducted mobster-children even as he blows away their crime lord fathers within eye's range (the film's climax takes this to the next level, with a Kill Bill-foreshadowing moment that is too downright disturbing not to be effectively bleak amidst the shootout stupidity). But hey - comics! Woo…!All the while, everyone's third favourite '80s action meathead, Dolph Lundgren, clomps through the movie like a stoned Terminator (his stretching rack torture sequence even allows him to showcase his best GNYYAAAAARRRGGHHH Arnold bellows). He certainly looks the part, and his blank dead-behind-the-eyes look would almost be enough to imbue Castle with the correct tortured humanity if he were a capable enough actor to contextualize them in any way, though his '80s one-liners, wholly uncharacteristic as they are, are lots of sassy fun ("Who sent you?" "Batman") - though it's an undeniable shame no one thought to push the envelope enough to unleash a bona fida 'Pun-isher'. Otherwise, Louis Gossett Jr's renowned stilted delivery makes for an excellent vintage existential '80s cop, even as he seals the deal with a violent, almost tender wrestling plea for his ol' buddy Castle to "LET ME IIIIINNNNNN". Feel the love. Feel the testosterone. Former Bond and soon-to-be- Fugitive villain Jeroen Krabbé easily out-acts all of his co-stars with his impressively composed turn as a mob boss striving to eliminate competition in favour of sharing (aww), while Kim Miyori is commandingly icy and terrifying as his Yakuza-helming co- fiend. Finally, Barry Otto as Castle's drunken, homeless, former actor collaborator is an eyebrow-raising but overall pleasant surprise, as hearing him beg Castle to save the children in near-Iambic Pentameter is simply too weird and fun not to love, as out of place as it is. It's no secret that the 1989 Punisher is, at best, a fairly silly relic of the decade showcasing some some decently entertaining action, and liable to play better to fans of disposable '80s bloodbaths than those expecting a faithful comics adaptation. Said fans may have found their appetites for Castle whetted by 2004 and 2008's cracks at the character - otherwise, it's hopefully not too much of a punishment to hold out for Netflix's take on the character in the upcoming season 2 of Daredevil. Suffice to say, dopily fun as it may be, very few are ever likely to lean on Lundgren as the definitive take on the character.-5/10