Darkhunters

2.4
2004 1 hr 24 min Horror

Walking the Earth as an undead spirit has Charlie Jackson in a quandary. Unable to interact with his family, Charlie feels he's been forsaken by God. Now, his ultimate goal is to get to heaven as soon as possible - but that's easier said than done. The battle between good and evil for Charlie's soul has begun, and salvation might only come via Carol Miller, a darkhunter who brings lost souls back to death.

  • Cast:
    Dominique Pinon , Dan van Husen , Jeff Fahey , Tina Barnes

Reviews

Voxitype
2004/09/07

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

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SanEat
2004/09/08

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

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Kien Navarro
2004/09/09

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

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Mandeep Tyson
2004/09/10

The acting in this movie is really good.

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MBunge
2004/09/11

This film is a case of being able to perfectly judge a book by its cover. The opening credits say this film is "Johannes Roberts's Darkhunters". Yes. Roberts's, not Roberts'. That no one involved with this movie, including writer/director Johannes Roberts, was smart or just attentive enough to catch that punctuation mistake says it all. Darkhunters is delightfully bad.The suckitude begins almost at once as the story lapses into a flashback after the opening scene, but then goes into a flashback within that flashback. I t doesn't stop there, however, as there are repeated flashbacks within the flashback within the flashback. After briefly introducing us to the main character, the story then focuses on a completely different and seemingly unrelated person for the next 15 minutes. I thought there'd been some sort of editing problem and another film got spliced into this one by mistake. The plot is also dominated by three of the longest and worst conversations you'll ever see in any motion picture. One is so confusing you'd need a Venn Diagram to understand what's being said, another feels like a maze where writer/director Roberts got lost inside his own script and couldn't find a way out. As for the third…well, you know those scenes where two people are face to face while the camera spins around them? That's how the third conversation is filmed, except the camera keeps spinning around them for two and a half minutes. I'm not sarcastically exaggerating. I actually timed it out.But, wait! It gets worse. About a third of this movie is nothing more that slo-mo images of feline frolicking, like a complimentary DVD you get for subscribing to Cat Fancy magazine. Then there's a scene in a dog pound that resembles a TV commercial from the Humane Society. Lead actress Susan Paterno is so awful, they would have been better off casting college football coach Joe Paterno in drag. Lead actor Dominique Pinon looks like a little person somehow blown up to regular size. In one of the most inexplicable career decisions of all time, legitimate Hollywood actor Jeff Fahey shows up as a demon in dire need of lip balm and a manicure. Another demon shows up that speaks in an unintelligible garble, but is given subtitles that make him sound like a slightly peeved accountant.I could go on and on about all the absurdly terrible things in this motion picture. What amplifies the crap factor into "so bad it's good" territory is that so many of those absurdly terrible things are repeated over and over again, making it crystal clear that no one involved with this production knew their ass from their elbow. If you and your friends tried to turn Darkhunters into a drinking game, they'd find you all dead the next day from alcohol poisoning.The story itself is basically the secret origin of Carol Miller (Susan Paterno), a woman chosen by God to kill ghosts by shooting them in the chest with bullets. They are ghosts who have been forgotten about through some sort of divine administrative mistake, ghosts who are invisible to the naked eye yet have enough physical substance to do things like drive cars. Miller has to track down these ghosts and shoot them before demons show up to claim their souls for some sort of supernatural black market. And yes, when the ghosts are shot, they bleed and fall to the floor like corpses.Johannes Roberts's Darkhunters is one of the most awesomely, hilariously bad things I've ever seen. If that's what you're in the mood for, there isn't a much better example of it than this movie.

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Ismael Neves
2004/09/12

It's hard and I didn't expect it... But it's really the worst film, me and my wife saw. Awful dialogs that extend incomprehensibly through time without any apparent reason except to fill time. The storytelling doesn't follow a comprehensive intelligibly way… everything is a mess. The action and the dialogs appear at jumps. The thing that disappointed me most was to see Dominique Pinon one of my French favorite actors involved in this… uh… I don't even know how to describe it without being polite… The rest of the actors where at the most poor. Susan Paterno made a terrible interpretation of her character, making a flat inexpressive performance. Poor special effects. I don't think that it was a complete waste of film but it's close to… If I'm to say I would advise everyone not to see this movie. I think it would be a complete waste of time. Sincerely I never though I would say something like that about a movie but… there's always a first time.

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Dr. Gore
2004/09/13

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* Sometimes, souls get missed. Sometimes, we have to send intergalactic bounty hunters to search for them. Sometimes, we must send them on very dangerous missions. "Darkhunters" sends these men of action into the thick of battle to search for the movie. The mission was too perilous. The Darkhunter failed."Darkhunters" starts off with an interesting concept and then refuses to do anything with it. So souls get lost on the way to heaven. A hot chick is the only one who can identify them. An alien Darkhunter stops by to harass her. He speaks in an alien tongue but the filmmakers were kind enough to subtitle his gibberish. Then the movie drags on and on until it somehow mercifully ends.There was an interesting movie here somewhere but the Darkhunter couldn't find it. Next time, leave it in the hands of the hot chick. They always know what to do.

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Neon_Saint
2004/09/14

This is the worst film I have ever seen. And I am not one of those people who say that all the time. But tonight I can say it 'the worst film I have ever seen'.So I recommend everyone to watch it. Because this film is a bottomless pit, you can't go any lower. There is no acting, no emotions, no story. And no action, no nudity –no redeeming factors, it's just plain bad, really bad. It doesn't get any worse than this. Which makes it quite educational.Where you are now you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like!(Just one man's opinion, some people apparently liked it)

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